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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Ever okay to ask specifics?

FI and I have been saving up for our honeymoon. My parents have helped greatly with that (my dad travels with work and kindly offered us flier miles and hotel points. Everything in that aspect has been booked). Our honeymoon is planned for end of October. We were very close to our goal for Disney tickets and food expenses. (Like 2 more months of savings) However, life happened and we had to use our honeymoon savings on some emergent things. 

Some time ago, FI grandmother offered to help us with the honeymoon and reconfirmed this recently(she brought it up). I am not one to count on things unless it's in my hand. The way I was looking at it was, if she ended up helping, great, maybe we could save some of our money towards our next goal. If not, whatever, we saved what we needed and are still able to enjoy our honeymoon. 
I've been rather stressed lately because we spent our honeymoon savings and most likely will not be able to replace it in time for when everything is booked. 

Is it okay if we ask her point blank what she means by "help with the honeymoon"? I do not feel comfortable asking her and I feel FI Should lead this conversation. He believes it will all come together ( between his grandmother and family we will have the money we need) I do not want to bank on this. I also do not want to come across as rude/ungrateful/entitled by asking what she is contributing 

However, i feel we really need to look at things realistically at this point. If we can't afford the honeymoon we were planning for, we need to rethink it. If we are rethinking it, I need to find out if my father can get his travel/hotel points back. But I can't do this until we know for sure if grandmom is helping us "enough" (quotations because I don't want to sound entitled. I don't expect anyone to give us any money) 

I want to talk to FI about approaching his grandmother, but don't want to do so until I hear if this is okay or not. I feel it's rude, but maybe it's okay because she did offer? I'm just not a last minute person. I'm not waiting until the day after our wedding to understand if we can go to Disney or not. 

Also:
If we are unable to have the funds in our hands/bank accounts, we have a second idea. But, if the travel/hotel points are unreturnable, does anyone know of nice things to do near Disney (Florida) that isn't the beach? We hate the beach. 

Re: Ever okay to ask specifics?

  • Since she offered, it is perfectly acceptable for FI to ask how she would like to help.

    If I were going to Florida, I'd want to go to the Harry Potter theme park. Less pricey than Disney maybe?
    image
  • Good news, Disney is not all that close to the beach. There is lots of wildlife, lakes, canoeing, etc in middle Florida.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Good news, Disney is not all that close to the beach. There is lots of wildlife, lakes, canoeing, etc in middle Florida.
    That's such a relief to hear. Our second option was going to Cherokee in NC and doing these types of activities. 
  • Since she offered, it is perfectly acceptable for FI to ask how she would like to help.

    If I were going to Florida, I'd want to go to the Harry Potter theme park. Less pricey than Disney maybe?
    We learned this year going to Universal for the first time that it is just as pricey as Disney, especially since you now have to buy the "Park to Park pass" if you want to see both parts of Harry Potter World...which was the only part I wanted to see. It's actually $5 more than the Disney Park Hopper, with two less parks. (Can you tell I'm a little bitter? LOL! But Harry Potter World is amazing and was totally worth it.)

    OP, I've done kayaking in Orlando that was so fun, and there are also a couple breweries in downtown Orlando that were awesome. I would search around for discounts, as the non-theme park attractions in Orlando always seem to be running deals!


  • It's perfectly fine for FI to approach his grandmother and ask further about how she wants to help with the honeymoon.  FI should be the one to bring it up, "grandma, you graciously offered to help with the honeymoon.  We would like to take you up on that offer.  We have already booked flights and a hotel for Disney.  How would you like to help?"  Obviously, be gracious in whatever she wants to pay for.  She might just want to give you money or she might want to buy something specific.

    We took an airboat ride that was about a 30 minute drive from Disney.  Foggy Bottom Air Boat rides or something like that. 

    Also, check out groupon and livingsocial.  I have found some great food and adventure deals there.

  • Since she offered, it is perfectly acceptable for FI to ask how she would like to help.

    If I were going to Florida, I'd want to go to the Harry Potter theme park. Less pricey than Disney maybe?
    We learned this year going to Universal for the first time that it is just as pricey as Disney, especially since you now have to buy the "Park to Park pass" if you want to see both parts of Harry Potter World...which was the only part I wanted to see. It's actually $5 more than the Disney Park Hopper, with two less parks. (Can you tell I'm a little bitter? LOL! But Harry Potter World is amazing and was totally worth it.)

    OP, I've done kayaking in Orlando that was so fun, and there are also a couple breweries in downtown Orlando that were awesome. I would search around for discounts, as the non-theme park attractions in Orlando always seem to be running deals!
    Ugh I know. We were gonna add on a day at Orlando for Harry Potter, but it's not worth it to me to only see one part of the park as Harry Potter is split and the park pass is an outrageous price ! Maybe one day I'll get there. 

    Thank you for your advice! We will talk to his grandmother this weekend :)
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