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4 Men in the world, and I want to control them all, as well as all my siblings

baconsmombaconsmom member
5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 
My sister has two children from a man in a different state who does not pay child support, mostly because she refuses to file the necessary paperwork. (She seems to equate it with giving the father some rights to see his children, whom he’s never met.) I have done everything I can short of physically dragging her to the courthouse, including contacting him myself. That is how I learned he’s getting married soon and that his fiancée knows nothing of his children. I can’t get my sister or this man to alter their behavior for the better. Do I owe it to the fiancée to out this man to her before the wedding? Child support obligations never go away, and this could come back to haunt them.

—Secret Children

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Re: 4 Men in the world, and I want to control them all, as well as all my siblings

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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    how is she certain the kids are this guy's? 
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    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LW needs to check her motives. Is she legitimately looking to help her sister and her sister's kids or just trying to show off, "Oh look, I'm such a great human being"?
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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the only  reason LW should have any say in this, is if sister is constantly asking for money from LW.  If LW is getting asked for money constantly, she should just put her foot down and say no.  Not go on a crusade to get the potential father on the hook for child support. 
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    glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LW needs to mind her own business. Sister doesn't want this guy in her or her childrens life for whatever reason, and sounds like the guy isn't involved through his own choice too. Seems like it's working for everyone except LW. Why the eff would she think it was appropriate to call this man behind her sisters back?
                 
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    OliveOilsMom said:
    I think the only  reason LW should have any say in this, is if sister is constantly asking for money from LW.  If LW is getting asked for money constantly, she should just put her foot down and say no.  Not go on a crusade to get the potential father on the hook for child support. 
    This was my initial thought, along with having concrete proof that this guy is the dad. 

    Even in this case, I wouldn't want to be involved in the situation, and  would tell sister to take care of her business and ask her baby daddy. 
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    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    OliveOilsMom said:
    I think the only  reason LW should have any say in this, is if sister is constantly asking for money from LW.  If LW is getting asked for money constantly, she should just put her foot down and say no.  Not go on a crusade to get the potential father on the hook for child support. 
    Good point, @OliveOilsMom. If sister is asking for money all the time, there are ways to help if LW is in a position to do so. Utility bill needs paid? Write a check to the company. Fridge is empty? Buy groceries. Niblings need something for school and mom can't afford it? Pick it up. 

    Otherwise, LW needs to back off.
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