My FI and I were with my mom and she brought up the topic of planning my shower. Based on the outcome of this conversation, I really wish she hadn't said anything in front of him since she has not discussed it privately with me at all, but that's beside the point. My mom had said she is excited to start planning my shower and asked how many people I wanted to invite. I responded that she should let me know her budget and I will give her a list based on that. She then started talking about how big our family is and she would be struggling to figure out how many people we should have. I told her I definitely wanted an intimate shower with only aunts and first cousins, and if room allowed, some close friends. My mom then said well what about FI's side? Do I need to ask his mom if she would like to help me plan? Then she said she would feel horrible asking for money from FI's mom if she did want to plan together. I said, in front of FI, that I did not plan on inviting anyone from his side beside his mom, sister and grandmom because I wanted to keep it as small as possible with only people who I am close with. At this point FI got annoyed and questioned why I wouldn't want any of his family to be there. I told him I would feel extremely uncomfortable having them at my shower and buying me gifts when I've met them all less than a handful of times in the last 5 years we've been together. Our family dynamic is also very different. He has a small family but sees them MAYBE once a year, where my family is huge and is constantly having parties and random get togethers year round. His whole argument was that it was OUR wedding, and he doesn't understand why his family isn't going to be invited. He said although its a Bridal Shower, we are getting gifts for OUR house, for OUR life together. I definitely see his point in this and am at a loss of words how to respond. Although I'm not changing my mind in having his extended family there, I feel like I need to explain to him in a different way as to the tradition of what a Bridal shower is and the fact that typically people who are close to the bride are there? And in this case, that's entirely true because I didn't want a huge party to begin with. I also asked my mom not to bring up anything else about the shower until we are all on the same page.