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Wedding Etiquette Forum
oywiththepoodles
member
Vendors and box meals
Hi all,
I've searched through the archives and seen a few threads on this general topic, but nothing that quite speaks to my question.
We have a few vendors that we need to provide meals for (DJ, photographer, photographer assistant, etc.). We can either pay ~$120 for the same meal as our guests, or much less for a boxed meal from the local tavern (which is physically attached to our venue).
At first, we were leaning towards giving them the same meal as the guests (choice of filet, lobster, or vegetarian), since we don't want it to feel like they are getting a lesser treatment. However, I've since read some threads that indicate that some vendors may actually prefer a more casual, easy-to-eat meal as opposed to the same full, plated meal that guests receive.
Is it okay to just give vendors the options from the tavern, or would this be perceived as rude? We are OK paying more if it means our vendors will feel appreciated, but also don't want to unnecessarily pay a $120/pp charge for them if they'd just as soon have the cheaper meal.
Thanks!
I've searched through the archives and seen a few threads on this general topic, but nothing that quite speaks to my question.
We have a few vendors that we need to provide meals for (DJ, photographer, photographer assistant, etc.). We can either pay ~$120 for the same meal as our guests, or much less for a boxed meal from the local tavern (which is physically attached to our venue).
At first, we were leaning towards giving them the same meal as the guests (choice of filet, lobster, or vegetarian), since we don't want it to feel like they are getting a lesser treatment. However, I've since read some threads that indicate that some vendors may actually prefer a more casual, easy-to-eat meal as opposed to the same full, plated meal that guests receive.
Is it okay to just give vendors the options from the tavern, or would this be perceived as rude? We are OK paying more if it means our vendors will feel appreciated, but also don't want to unnecessarily pay a $120/pp charge for them if they'd just as soon have the cheaper meal.
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vendors and box meals
In the absence of a clear meal preference noted in their contracts, I personally would err on the side of having well-fed vendors - since well-fed might mean happier service - so we offered them the same meal options as our guests.
If you think some of your vendors would prefer a grab-and-go option, I'd give them all four(?) selections as choices and let them make the call for themselves. You may find that one or two want the quick option, but not all.
I'm thinking it makes sense to clarify with our venue coordinator if they literally have the choice of the entire venue menu (which would indeed give them choices of things like steak, lobster, seafood, etc., but would put their meals in the range of $30-40 instead of ~$120). If so, I'm leaning towards that being okay.
If it seems like the menu they get to pick from would be too limited, then I agree that I'd err on the side of giving them the same options as guests.
Great point about alcohol. Alcohol isn't included in our per person cost, but it still may be worth us negotiating with the coordinator - they may be willing to give us a lower per person cost for the vendors if that actually ends up being easier for them (the venue) to coordinate than having to order separate meals from the tavern.
Our photographer + assistant sat at one of the guest tables. They did take a couple of pictures in between courses, mostly decor, our rings, the bouquets, but other than that, there really aren't many photos to take at this time- who wants a photo of them self chewing food? Our DJ ate at his table, so he was able to cue up a few songs a time and keep everything going while enjoying his steak/chicken.
I would offer all 4 options to your vendors (your "guest" meals plus the tavern option) and see what they would prefer. Unless they prefer otherwise, myself I'd go with the guest meal as it seems odd to me to serve a bunch of people one thing while giving something lesser to someone else (even though it is etiquette approved to do so).