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Wedding Party
horselover2017
member
Have not met best man
I have not met my fiance's best man. I talked to him over skype. He has not officially asked him, but he knows that's who he wants. I was thinking he should've had this other guy who is in the wedding party to be his best man as I have known him for a few years and he is also his best friend plus he lives in town. His best man lives half way across the country and is slightly hard to get a hold of as he doesn't use facebook or social media except for skype. I'm happy he has such a great friend, but hope it won't be awkward at the wedding since we've never met.
Have any of you never met the best man?
Have any of you never met the best man?
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Re: Have not met best man
You pick your own bridesmaids and let him choose his best man and groomsmen. I'd stay out of this if I were you.
How would you feel if the situation were reversed, and your FI was trying to override your choice of MOH?
I don't get the vibe from your post, but I hope you aren't concerned about the distance because this guy may not be able to fulfill his BM role in the wedding. All this guy needs to do is show up in his designated outfit, mostly sober and ready to smile for pictures.
If you are hoping to have a local BM because he can be around to help assist with wedding planning, wedding setup, or even throw his bachelor party, etc., than change your thinking now. No one needs to help plan your wedding but you and your FI. Pre-wedding parties thrown in your honor can be offered by anyone - doesn't have to be MOH or BM.
Let your FI pick his side and you stick with your side.
Also, while I wasn't the bride, my friend was and she had not met someone in the WP until he arrived for the RD. He lived a plane ride away and she had never met him until he arrived for the wedding. He was always a part of her now H's "crew", so there was no way they could marry without him being in the WP. And I honestly don't recall if this particular guy was a GM or BM, which goes to show that this doesn't really matter, as long as if this is someone your FI wants by his side on your wedding day.
As Flantastic said, because of geography, I didn't even meet my husband's mother, brother, or sister until the night before our wedding. I didn't meet his father until 2 years later.
This is is a non-issue.
When FI told me who he wanted to be his GM's I was surprised because they were 3 friends from college he hardly ever sees or talks to(and we do see them he complains about how immature they can be). He wanted a 4th person to have even sides (even though I told him this was NOT required, he is very insecure about the giving perception of "not having friends", that is his deal). He kept asking me if I thought it would be weird or awkward if he asked so and so or so and so. I eventually told him it was his choice to make and I thought he had chose already was kind of weird because we never see them! He said "That's how guys work... all the GM's are people they knew for college, it is their oldest friends!".... eventually he decided to round out his 4 with one of his friends that he talks to regularly but lives in KY and I've never met him...or even talked to him.
I'm excited to met him because I know they are good friends and I don't think it will be weird at all.
One of my BM's and longest time friend has been living in Hawaii for nearly six years. Although we speak regularly, it is nearly impossible for us to travel back and forth to visit in person. Almost everyone met her for the first time at the RD. It was not strange or awkward. My other two girlfriends (who knew each other) and SIL (who I am close to but didn't really know any of my firends) were all just fine when we all met up. Although not besties by the end of the weekend...we all had a great time getting to know each other.
What work does a MOH need to do? Other than turn up at the right place on time in a pre determined attire relatively sober I can't think of anything!
She doesn't need to do anything. My MOH will be out of the country for the six months leading up to my wedding so her role will be to show up and sign as a witness. I'm referring to the tone of the original message about the best man being far away. A lot of MOH do put in extra time and I know several brides who have selected a different MOH because the one they were originally thinking of couldn't be around to help with planning (a bit bridezilla-ish to me, but whatever). Even in the case of a bridezilla, the best man generally just plans the bachelor party, so I'm saying that the location need not be a concern to anyone regardless of your views on the roles a bridal party should play.
For real, you won't even notice he is there. More important things will be happening. Let your FI pick who he wants, short of Trump or something.
My maid of honor lives across the country, and my husband had met her once. But it made no difference to our wedding. I couldn't have imagined my wedding without her by my side and she was my rock. He supported my decision and in the end got the chance to get to know her in a really special way.
If he does choose him. Take this as an opportunity to get to know this new friend. You will always get to remember that it was the wedding that introduced you, and that is a pretty special start.
If you are really worried about it, feel free to voice your concerns. But don't suggest that he should pick someone else, you don't want your marriage to start out with you correcting him. It will undermine his confidence and make him second guess everything.
Best of luck. Oh and BREATHE, it will all be okay. The important thing is that you love him, and at the end of the day you will have confessed this love to all your friends and family and pledged to help uphold and support each other.