Wedding performances?

Re: Wedding performances?

• JaxInBlue member

  

  July 2016

  Knottie15087621 said:

  My fiance and I met at college in our musical theatre program. He is still a working actor and I work in administrative theater. For some reason when ever I see future guests they ask "Are you guys going to sing at the reception?", " Who is going to perform?", "Wouldn't it be cute if you guys did a number?". Recently, his brother asked if he could sing and do a performance during the reception. I find it pretty crazy that people would want to take the attention from our big day and put on a show for our guests. I want our wedding to be a wedding, about our love and not a spectacle for other people to be gawked at. Am I being selfish by not letting people perform? 

  No, I don't think so.  IMO, performances at weddings get awkward - people not part of the circle can feel not fully apart of what is going on, and if the performances aren't great (which, let's be honest, can happen when people get nervous/emotional/3 drinks in) they can feel unbearable.
  
  If people ask to perform, I think it's fine to decline or to put conditions on it - for example, maybe FBIL could do 1 song as part of your ceremony - and to say that you already have whatever task covered.  You can say things like "we don't want friends or family to work during the wedding. We want you to relax and have fun!"
  
  Additionally, you can try to deflect people's comments about your own perfomance with humor.  If people ask if you are performing, you can respond something like "Yes!  I'll be playing the role of Bride marrying Groom in Ceremony at 2:00." 
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  July 2016

  You're well within the parameter of saying "It's our wedding, not a work day - we want to give due reverence to getting married and starting our lives together"..  It's o.k. to decide as a couple that you want work "turned off" for the day because your relationship is far more than work related passions.  It's also good for those boundaries to be in place that while you both love what you do, there is also a time for other things in your life.  Just say "The only performance that night is going to be by the DJ, we want everyone there having a wonderful relaxing evening together!"  Where it's your IRL job, yea, boundaries! 

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• mrsconn23 member

  

  July 2016

  The only acceptable wedding performance is a liturgical dance, preferably on hoverboards.   
  
  You're not selfish at all.  It's your wedding and if you don't want it to be a theatrical event, people should respect that.  Just because your passion/careers are theater, it has no bearing on your wedding.  So keep saying no and don't feel you have to explain yourselves.  People's butthurt is their own issue. 
  

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• Heffalump member

  

  July 2016

  I don't think it's selfish at all.  Some guests enjoy that sort of thing, many do not.  Plus you're getting married!  I don't think you should have to put on a show on top of it.  Just enjoy your day with your new H.
  

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• OurWildKingdom member

  

  July 2016 edited July 2016

  My brother and one of his best friends from college used to do a Blues Brothers tribute act. During my cousin's wedding reception, they did a few songs in character, and at my brother's reception, they both changed out of their tuxes into costume and did a performance. It was my brother and his friend's idea both times, and at the first wedding, my cousin and her husband were totally on board. 
  
  That said, do not feel pressured to perform at all! Enjoy your wedding!

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  July 2016

  Ugh to most performances at weddings. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  July 2016

  I think a performance during the reception is odd. If someone wants to sing an appropriate song during the ceremony itself, and you want to take them up on it that is ok.

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  July 2016

  Just say no if you don't want it.  It's not a four letter word.  I'd also give your DJ a heads up that people may want to try and do a mini-performance and to not allow it. 

  I have been to a wedding where there was a performance during the reception.  It got pretty awkward for some people.  First, it was a song sung by the bride's stepbrother.  Their parents didn't meet until bride & stepbrother were upper teens and she was smitten with him from the start.  They also hooked up a few times during college, but it ended up going no where.  Next thing, she meets the groom not long after and eventually they get married.  We were friends of bride who knew the entire backstory of bride and step-brother.  While I can't remember what song he sang, it was really inappropriate considering their past history, which I don't think most guests knew of.

  

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