Wedding Woes

I want to hug this LW

Dear Prudence,
What’s your opinion on discussing your sexual past with a romantic partner? My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and we rarely argue because we’re open and honest with one another. We’ve only ever discussed previous partners in vague, general terms because it always seemed unnecessary (and frankly I’d rather not know too much). Recently, I have begun to feel guilty about my sexual history. The year before I started dating my boyfriend, I was going through a difficult time and had sex with more men that I’d care to admit, many times after heavy drinking and sometimes during blackouts. I never saw any of them again and deeply regret that I ever slept with them. I guess with all the honesty in our relationship, I feel I am being dishonest by not telling my boyfriend about this dark part of my sexual past. Does he need to know? Or can I just leave it behind? I don’t want to hurt him or his trust.

—Can’t Forget the Past

Re: I want to hug this LW

  • He doesn't need to know, but if it's weighing on her this much she should tell him. If he can't handle it or makes her feel bad about it he's not the right man for her. 
    bleve0821monkeysip
  • Definitely work on self-forgiveness. Honestly, unless LW had medical issues I wouldn't be too concerned on telling him unless she wants to. No rush.
    OurWildKingdomOliveOilsMom
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I want to hug the LW too! LW may benefit from counseling to help with self-forgiveness.
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think she should share it with him, not because he needs to/deserves to know of her sexual past (I don't think that's true with any couple) but because he may be able to help her heal and share the burden with her. If he is a kind and compassionate person, telling him won't hurt anything and it may help them grow closer. Also definitely agree she should talk with someone in the context of professional therapy too! 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OurWildKingdom
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