Couldn't wait to share this with you all

wmam35 · July 2016

Hi everyone! I heard a good one the other day, and as the title says, I couldn't wait to share it with you all.

My friend is in a wedding coming up and was trying to make plans about going to the rehearsal or not since it was a far drive and they didn't want to drive there one night, then back, then back again the next day for the wedding (and didn't want to pay for an extra night at the hotel). So he's talking to the groom and the groom decides to let him in on a little secret...that the rehearsal is actually going to be the wedding and they're going to "surprise" everyone!

WHAT??????

And on top of that, my friend is STILL expected to rent the tuxedo and participate in a "ceremony" the next day! I can't remember if they're telling people beforehand that they are actually married but I bet they aren't.

I promise I'm not making this up, and unfortunately I have no other details to share. I told my husband that if I found out about that when I showed up at the "wedding" that I would enjoy my free food (maybe that's wrong but I love eating) and leave with my gift in hand. I've never heard of anything like this in my real life and I just can't believe it. I feel so bad for these people's families.

AddieCake · July 2016

So they are going to get married with people present and then have a PPD the very next day? What the hell for?

kmmssg · July 2016

If I were your friend I would be so pissed. That is some crazy stuff right there. I might end up with a flat tire on the way to the rehearsal. Please update us as you can - I can't wait to hear how this goes.

Heffalump · July 2016

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downtondiva · July 2016

No. Just....no.

bleve0821 · July 2016

If I were the family, I'd be pissed

SaintPaulGal · July 2016

But why? What possible reason could they have for doing it that way? This atrocity of a plan makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Why lie to everybody and have a super secret little wedding the day before the "wedding" that people are coming to see?

I get why someone might want to have a typical PPD. I mean, I don't agree with it but I can understand the appeal: benefits of marriage right now and a big party at a later date when it works our for you. But what do they even stand to gain from this? It's just weird.

ILoveBeachMusic · July 2016

I don't get this either. If the ceremony is at the rehearsal then it wouldn't even be a get married in the church today, somewhere else tomorrow kind of thing. Makes no sense whatsoever.

MCmeow · July 2016

Wtf, I don't see the point of this at all...

kvruns · July 2016

This is similar to what a friend of mine did a couple weeks ago. We knew we were just attending a "wedding celebration" as they were getting married in a private ceremony sometime earlier though she was never upfront about when/how. They didn't do a ceremony recreation but did wedding dress/tux, grand entrance, first dance, cake etc at the wedding celebration. They also had a speech which was weird, but in the speech it dropped a clue that they had hosted a bunch of people the night before. I later learned they got married the night before, and then the next day saw on a fb post that they hosted a gathering (sort of like a rehearsal dinner type thing) for certain friends and family and did a surprise wedding ceremony there. One of the friends from our group was invited to it but the rest of us were not; I asked if she thought it was weird they were invited to a dinner the night before but she didn't question it. Apparently they had 30-40 friends/family for this surprise ceremony the night before and then hosted 100+ for the wedding celebration the next night.

ei34 · July 2016

That's so strange. Can't wait for an update (if there is one).

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

None of this makes any sense! Why? I'm so curious to hear the reasoning for this. Why take the gift back, though?

Jen4948 · July 2016

This makes no sense whatsover! And if I were a family member, I'd be extremely pissed too.

photokitty · July 2016

Brad paisley and Kimberly Williams did this, I thought it was super odd back then, but I guess it was to fool paparazzi. Still weird, but almost understandable of you can't have a private life.

But still, no, just no. Unless said friend is uber famous and the paparazzi are going to try and sell photos of the wedding.

AddieCake · July 2016

DrillSergeantCat said:

None of this makes any sense! Why? I'm so curious to hear the reasoning for this. Why take the gift back, though?

Yeah, I don't see the need to take your gift back. That seems petty.

wmam35 · July 2016

Update:
I just texted my friend to ask why they're doing it because I'm the worst and never asked. He basically said they want when they "actually get married" to be with only the people they care about because there are going to be too many people they aren't that close with at the originally planned wedding the next day. Sounds like family guest list politics got in the way and maybe they're trying to get around it? Who knows. So I guess it's not the most dastardly thing in the world but it still bothers me. My friend was pretty "whatever" about the whole thing (he's a loyal friend to a fault and also never gets mad about anything) so I'm not trying to get to into it with him.

@DrillSergeantCat Maybe I didn't word it well but I wouldn't go and like, take my gift back if I'd already put it with the other cards or something but if I hadn't given it yet then I just wouldn't give it. I happily give gifts but I think this just think it's wrong to dupe people like this. If I knew ahead of time that I was going to a PPD I wouldn't care. And @AddieCake you're right, it is petty and I own it even if it isn't the best reaction

kimmiinthemitten · July 2016

wmam35 said:

Update:
I just texted my friend to ask why they're doing it because I'm the worst and never asked. He basically said they want when they "actually get married" to be with only the people they care about because there are going to be too many people they aren't that close with at the originally planned wedding the next day. Sounds like family guest list politics got in the way and maybe they're trying to get around it? Who knows. So I guess it's not the most dastardly thing in the world but it still bothers me. My friend was pretty "whatever" about the whole thing (he's a loyal friend to a fault and also never gets mad about anything) so I'm not trying to get to into it with him.

Nope, still doesn't make sense or make it better. I mean, it isn't a friendship ending thing IMO, but host a small wedding and be done with it then.

monkeysip · July 2016

Why not just have a small, private ceremony, and then the reception with everyone later?

I just don't get why it's ok to have a fake ceremony in front of tons of people, but the real ceremony needs to be in front of a much smaller crowd.

It's almost like people are TRYING to make their wedding plans more convoluted...

MCmeow · July 2016

People make things so unnecessarily complicated for no reason, except because of society's standard of what weddings should be. If it weren't for the wedding industry I bet every wedding would be completely different and there would be many more small ones and no PPDs

JediElizabeth · July 2016

wmam35 said:

Update:
I just texted my friend to ask why they're doing it because I'm the worst and never asked. He basically said they want when they "actually get married" to be with only the people they care about because there are going to be too many people they aren't that close with at the originally planned wedding the next day. Sounds like family guest list politics got in the way and maybe they're trying to get around it? Who knows. So I guess it's not the most dastardly thing in the world but it still bothers me. My friend was pretty "whatever" about the whole thing (he's a loyal friend to a fault and also never gets mad about anything) so I'm not trying to get to into it with him.

Actually, I feel like that's worse. It's pretty much a clear slap in the face to anyone who isn't invited the day before.

Like, invite me to your wedding or don't. Don't invite me because your parents wanted you to, make me go out and buy a dress, a gift, a hotel room, etc., and then plan the ceremony the day before in order to specifically exclude me.

And it's even worse if they're only inviting those people because it's the only way their parents will pay....be an adult and live with the strings, or don't take the money.

themosthappy91 · July 2016

JediElizabeth said:

wmam35 said:

Update:
I just texted my friend to ask why they're doing it because I'm the worst and never asked. He basically said they want when they "actually get married" to be with only the people they care about because there are going to be too many people they aren't that close with at the originally planned wedding the next day. Sounds like family guest list politics got in the way and maybe they're trying to get around it? Who knows. So I guess it's not the most dastardly thing in the world but it still bothers me. My friend was pretty "whatever" about the whole thing (he's a loyal friend to a fault and also never gets mad about anything) so I'm not trying to get to into it with him.

Actually, I feel like that's worse. It's pretty much a clear slap in the face to anyone who isn't invited the day before.

Like, invite me to your wedding or don't. Don't invite me because your parents wanted you to, make me go out and buy a dress, a gift, a hotel room, etc., and then plan the ceremony the day before in order to specifically exclude me.

And it's even worse if they're only inviting those people because it's the only way their parents will pay....be an adult and live with the strings, or don't take the money.

This exactly, they are literally doing this for no other reason than to specific exclude people who are using up their limited free time and money to come celebrate with them. There's no other emotional significance to it.

Honestly this is one of the grossest things I've ever read about on here because it's just so... petty and selfish. The couple is saying that all those people witnessing the "fake" ceremony would have somehow made the moment of their actual marriage less special and meaningful, which seems straight-up spiteful to me.

SP29 · July 2016

My biggest thing against PPDs is deception- and this is it!

If you get married in a private ceremony and then decide later to have a re-do, but you're honest about it, depending on my relationship with you, I'd still go. I still think it's silly, but I'd probably go. But I think it is very rude and hurtful when the couple lies about it.

So much going on with the couple above- if you wanted a small wedding, just plan it that way. The above is not saving money in anyway. It's like they're having a tiered wedding- the first ceremony is for their "real" friends and family, so when the other guests find out they weren't invited to the real deal, well that's a slap in the face. The couple should have planned the wedding they wanted.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

SP29 said:

My biggest thing against PPDs is deception- and this is it!

If you get married in a private ceremony and then decide later to have a re-do, but you're honest about it, depending on my relationship with you, I'd still go. I still think it's silly, but I'd probably go. But I think it is very rude and hurtful when the couple lies about it.

So much going on with the couple above- if you wanted a small wedding, just plan it that way. The above is not saving money in anyway. It's like they're having a tiered wedding- the first ceremony is for their "real" friends and family, so when the other guests find out they weren't invited to the real deal, well that's a slap in the face. The couple should have planned the wedding they wanted.

A former friend of mine invited me to his wedding and I was super excited to be there to support him. Then, at the reception he tells me they actually got married 6 weeks prior because of "family issues." I was pretty hurt. I felt like he felt I was good enough to help him choose her engagement ring and plan the engagement but not good enough to even be told they were getting married a different date.

Couldn't wait to share this with you all

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