Guest list trouble AGAIN
As you may have noticed now, I'm having a small wedding. I love this yet I'm still sad about the people I had to cut out.
Our rsvp date is one month before the wedding (is this too early? Caterer seems really flexible. Hasn't given us a deadline. Just to "let us know of any changes")
My FI brother and girlfriend are being really flippant about flights. He keeps saying "when I get the money. " I was trying to help by looking up flights: there are between 1-3 seats left on EVERY flight I looked at. (Wedding is 3
months away) Brother keeps saying he isn't sure when he will have the money for a flight as he is making barely enough for bills (he brought it up, not us)
If he still isn't sure about flights by one month before (the RSVP date), can I let two other friends know I would love for them to come?
I have some questions with this
1) if I'm upfront with these friends about circumstances...I would let them know it's an intimate wedding with family and friends. (She already knows we've grown apart as we've talked about this many times. Our challenge is really just distance. We stil consider each other close friends) and I would have loved to have included her and FI on original guest list, but was unable to, would this be super offensive? (I never had a b-list!) this is legit the reason. We just didn't have the space to invite her and FI
2) should I just not invite anyone else and still tell the caterer x amount of people even tho it may, in reality, be less people attending? (We have included more people in the number just to make sure there is extra food. The problem is space in the wedding tent) Maybe brother and girlfriend end up being able to come very last minute.
Again, I'm very happy with having a small wedding and don't want to offend anyone. But I'm also sad I didn't get to invite my close friends as they are more important than my family. [He has the most guests. More family than friends. I have no family other than parents (I do not have a good relationship with any other than my parents) and mostly friends as they are my family. I am okay with this as I LOVE his family and would honestly be super sad if his brother and girlfriend (he's a groomsman and she a bridesmaid) did not come. But at the same time, I want to be realistic with last minute changes, but also with the chance to be able to invite more of my "family")
I am really trying to approach this as etiquettely as possible. I will be open to any and all criticism.