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This is all stupid, but who forces a potluck on people?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
My boss recently announced that we will be having a potluck lunch soon. Attendance will be, if not mandatory, expected. She is providing two main dishes (both are meat). I am a vegetarian, and it is difficult for me to be around meat products. My family and friends understand this, and do not feel upset if I bring my own meal and do not eat what they provide. I don’t think my boss would be so understanding. My friends are split on whether I should go and do my best to avoid the meat products perhaps by sitting in the back and only eating my own food, or take a stand by not attending at all. What do you think?

—Taking a Stand at Work

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Re: This is all stupid, but who forces a potluck on people?

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    I've met some pretty hardcore vegans and vegetarians and not has ever had a hard time being around meat products (whatever that means). What do you do every other day of your life in grocery stores, restaurants, at weddings or parties? 

    Sounds like she just wants to make a scene. 
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    I've met some pretty hardcore vegans and vegetarians and not has ever had a hard time being around meat products (whatever that means). What do you do every other day of your life in grocery stores, restaurants, at weddings or parties? 

    Sounds like she just wants to make a scene. 
    FI is vegan, we're going to a potluck on the weekend, there's going to be meat. His friends will mock him, he will mock them back and we will bring two dishes and maybe a veggie burger or two. No one will bat an eyelash and everyone will have something to eat.

    LW needs to get over herself and suck it up. I used to work in an office where lunches were a big thing, either catered or potluck. I have multiple food allergies, I just make sure I know what's in everything.
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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
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    Bring a salad or whatever and hug the wall furthest from the meat products. Life doesn't have to be this hard.
                 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    Heffalump said:
    mrs.conn23 said:
    charlotte989875 said:


    Sounds like she just wants to make a scene. 
    It sounds like she has a beef (heh, couldn't resist) with the boss.  

    Which I understand, especially if she's demanding attendance at a potluck (because who knows what other BSC stuff she does?).  

    But LW is just as bad since she's a) trying to take a 'stand' over this, b ) thinks people should be sensitive to her chosen dietary restrictions, and c) she's writing to Prudie.  
    Maybe you need to check your WFH privilege, mrs.conn!

    Seriously, though, I've never been in an office where it wasn't sort-of expected that you at least put in an appearance.  (The boss did say it was expected, not mandatory, so it sounds like it's the norm to show up.)  In my experience, when they're paying you, they get to say that today is the "thank you" (HA) lunch for whatever random thing, and everyone puts in their time.  Sucks if you have to put off picking up the cleaning or running to Target, but that's life.
    I understand a catered lunch, but a potluck?  My office is notorious for having food all.the.time (either paid for by management OR people bringing it in for a frillion reasons) and participation has never been expected. 
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  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I read this as LW being worried that her boss will try to force her to eat the meat dishes the boss provided.  If she's just worried about being in the room, then yeah she needs to get over it.  But she says that her friends and family are understanding if she brings her own food and doesn't eat the meal they provided and was worried her boss wouldn't do the same.  
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm guessing LW is a notorious PITA who bucks office politics and plays the victim all the time, hence why her boss let her know her attendance was expected.  I'm picturing the chick who took a drawer in the shared fridge for herself, but will steal your V8, yogurt etc if it looks good.

    I mean who writes to an online columnist about this unless you're a seriously speshul martyr type.



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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Meat dishes can be more expensive.   I'm wondering if that's why the boss is providing them.    This seems to be looking for a reason to be offended.  
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    This is weird.

    I have attended many work potlucks. Never mandated by management, more us co-workers would plan these things for various reasons, but our managers would always come. Always optional. But my point being- everyone brings something, and everyone eats what they want.

    Potluck etiquette aside, just because you attend a potluck doesn't mean you are required to eat a portion of every dish. LW can bring her vegan dish and eat that alone- the boss isn't going to stand there watching and say, "YOU DIDN'T EAT MY MEAT? FIRED!!".
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  • ThisShamanluvsaMageThisShamanluvsaMage member
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    SP29 said:
    This is weird.

    I have attended many work potlucks. Never mandated by management, more us co-workers would plan these things for various reasons, but our managers would always come. Always optional. But my point being- everyone brings something, and everyone eats what they want.

    Potluck etiquette aside, just because you attend a potluck doesn't mean you are required to eat a portion of every dish. LW can bring her vegan dish and eat that alone- the boss isn't going to stand there watching and say, "YOU DIDN'T EAT MY MEAT? FIRED!!".

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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    SP29 said:
     "YOU DIDN'T EAT MY MEAT? FIRED!!".
    1) dirty.
    2) that sounds like a call to HR is in order
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  • SaintPaulGalSaintPaulGal member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    We have a fair number of potlucks at my work, and they are not optional.  Well, if you have a schedule conflict nobody would look askance at that, but if you are in the office you are contributing and participating and that's that.  Everybody is pretty into it except one guy, and he always just brings beverages and paper products which is fine.  When I got hired here one of the interview questions was legit "how do you feel about potlucks."

    Letter writer is a weirdo drama queen.  Bring a veggie dish, eat it, and chill out about the meat others are enjoying.  This won't be the first or the last time you are in a room with animal products.
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