Hotels are full of beds. Beds for days.

mrsconn23 · July 2016

Dear Prudence,
Here’s hoping you can help settle a long-standing argument between me and my parents. I live in a one-bedroom flat in which I have a double bed and a sofa bed. My parents will soon be spending two weeks with me, and they think they should sleep in the bed and I in the sofa because they’re older, although not in bad physical condition, and I owe them respect (my relationship with my mother has been strained for years over all the things I “owe” her). I think they should have the sofa and I should keep my bed, since I work a physically demanding job and my performance suffers significantly if I’m not well-rested. They’ll be here on holidays with no schedule while I’ll still have to go to work every day. What say you?

—No Sleep

*Barbie* · July 2016

"you're welcome to stay on my sofa bed or at a number of nice hotels, nearby. i'll be happy to make some recommendations if you'd like."

charlotte989875 · July 2016

I think they should sleep in a hotel around the corner.

bleve0821 · July 2016

"You can stay with me if you don't mind the rats and roaches. I called the super, but.... There's a nice hotel down the street, though."

glasgowtolondon · July 2016

Well, I actually do this. When my parents come to stay we always sleep in the spare room either on the sofa bed or on a blow up mattress depending on our mood. My parents are 66 and I just feel like they need a better bed than we do, but that is probably due to the fact that my dad had a hip replacement a few years back. That being said, no way on gods green earth my parents are staying with me for 2 whole weeks just for a holiday. Nope, not happening.

mrsconn23 · July 2016

glasgowtolondon said:

Well, I actually do this. When my parents come to stay we always sleep in the spare room either on the sofa bed or on a blow up mattress depending on our mood. My parents are 66 and I just feel like they need a better bed than we do, but that is probably due to the fact that my dad had a hip replacement a few years back. That being said, no way on gods green earth my parents are staying with me for 2 whole weeks just for a holiday. Nope, not happening.

Exactly. A night or two? Sure, I can suck it up. Two whole weeks? Fuck that noise.

We replaced DefConn's bed AND gave the kiddo our old mattress (that's not very old) so that we have comfortable sleeping arrangements for adult guests in our home. The kids fare just fine on the couch or floor.

HereForThePartyGK · July 2016

We have an extra bedroom and even when my mom stays there for a few days it's taxing. A one bedroom apartment with no extra beds, for two whole weeks??? Nope times infinity +1

Hell I'd let her stay at my place and I'd go put my ass in a hotel room, it would save some lives really.

banana468 · July 2016

Nope. You don't raise kids with the presumption that they owe you anything - especially their beds.

MesmrEwe · July 2016

H to the ELL no - Hotel for the parents - nothing more nothing less... There is bound to be a nearby Infest Inn that's $40/night after extended stay discount - Boundaries! Just say'n!

OurWildKingdom · July 2016

glasgowtolondon said:

Well, I actually do this. When my parents come to stay we always sleep in the spare room either on the sofa bed or on a blow up mattress depending on our mood. My parents are 66 and I just feel like they need a better bed than we do, but that is probably due to the fact that my dad had a hip replacement a few years back. That being said, no way on gods green earth my parents are staying with me for 2 whole weeks just for a holiday. Nope, not happening.

I'm in camp give-the-parents-the-bed too. FMIL is coming to visit later this summer, and we've already discussed either paying for a hotel or sleeping on the couch (unless we buy a futon before then).

It would be a moot point with my own parents; my mother has severe pet allergies.

SP29 · July 2016

Unless there are reasons for it.... newp!

When my parents visited our apartment, they slept on air mattresses on the floor. We kept our bed. Not that our bed is any prize- a basic Ikea mattress. Not that there's anything wrong with it, we've been sleeping in it going on 5 years, but it's not luxurious by any means.

My grandparents? Ok yes, because my grandmother could never get down onto the floor to sleep on an air mattress. But with my grandparents, I LOVE them, but I'd suggest a hotel

.

lc07 · July 2016

I usually lurk here so I hope it's okay to chime in - but IDK why LW is okay with having her parents with whom she has a strained relationship stay in her presumably small home with her for two straight weeks? That's a LONG time for any guest I love dearly to stay with me. This just seems like a bad idea no matter the sleeping arrangements.

OurWildKingdom · July 2016

lc07 said:

I usually lurk here so I hope it's okay to chime in - but IDK why LW is okay with having her parents with whom she has a strained relationship stay in her presumably small home with her for two straight weeks? That's a LONG time for any guest I love dearly to stay with me. This just seems like a bad idea no matter the sleeping arrangements.

Presumably LW would still be working. That said, I'm with you. I love my parents, but two weeks with them would not go well. If it were just my Dad, that would be easy, but my Mom and I are too much alike and would be on each other's nerves within 72 hours.

lovesclimbing · July 2016

This is interesting to me. I read this column this morning. Growing up, my grandparents always gave my parents the bedroom, and they slept on the living room hide-a-bed. At some point in my teen years, my parents stopped that and they slept in the living room. My other grandparents had a decent guest bedroom downstairs, so my parents slept there.

When my parents came for a visit recently, the thought never crossed my mind to give my parents our bed. I just didn't think about it, they didn't mention it, and they slept on the couch, which folded out into a bed. I think I probably should have offered it, especially since they are (obviously) older than H and I and could probably use the better mattress. As it is, they slept on the hide-a-bed mattress on the floor because the canvas and springs on the actual fold out part wasn't firm enough for them.

drunkenwitch · July 2016

BF's parents are visiting this summer. Thankfully ny the time they get here we will have a proper guest room set up so we can put them up. The house is small but they will only be here for a week and they will have their own room. But giving up our room and our bed? That would just make all of us uncomfortable.

Knottie87695941 · July 2016

Parents are so much fun when they visit, but even better when they are at a nice hotel.
"Houseguests are like fish, after three days they start to stink"

AddieCake · July 2016

We have a guest room for a reason, and it's not so that my husband and I can be the ones to sleep in it.

jh715 · July 2016

Before I was married, I would readily give up my bed for my parents/grandparents/married siblings visiting me. Now that it's my marital bed, not so much. We've made it a point to have a suitable guest bedroom/mostly separate bathroom in our house so we don't have to share space as much.

thisismynickname2 · July 2016

I think this is much more about the parent-kid relationship dynamic and not about which bed which person should use.

My mom once slept on an air mattress at my place even though I offered my bed. If my parents wanted my bed over a sofa bed or air mattress I'd let them have it in a heartbeat. But, on the other hand, they'd never ask to stay with me for several weeks anyway.

We do have a guest room now so the point with us is moot, but honestly, I'd suffer and sleep uncomfortably before I'd have my aging parents suffer. And financial situation comes into play if someone can't afford a hotel room, so.

lyndausvi · July 2016

thisismynickname said:

I think this is much more about the parent-kid relationship dynamic and not about which bed which person should use.

My mom once slept on an air mattress at my place even though I offered my bed. If my parents wanted my bed over a sofa bed or air mattress I'd let them have it in a heartbeat. But, on the other hand, they'd never ask to stay with me for several weeks anyway.

We do have a guest room now so the point with us is moot, but honestly, I'd suffer and sleep uncomfortably before I'd have my aging parents suffer. And financial situation comes into play if someone can't afford a hotel room, so.

This is how I feel.

I haven't lived in the same state as my parents since I was 19. A lot of that time we were not even in the same continent. I get to see them maybe once a year. My parents are aging and my mom has RA pretty bad.

I'm lucky enough to have a spare room. I'm also fortunate, they have the funds for a hotel. However, if neither was the case I would absolutely give up my bed in order to spend time with them.

Actually, when I bought my one bedroom in the islands I gave my parents my room for 10 days when they came to visit. It was the least I could do since my dad spent 9 of those days helping me fix up my condo.

*Barbie* · July 2016

My parents gave us their bed once when we visited. My dad had set up a bunch of fish tanks in my old room (they remodeled it to a guest room) - and dad was afraid that we would wake up in the middle of the night and somehow knock a tank over.

We have a guest room so the point is moot, but more than a week starts to be too much for us - either visiting or being visited. When we had Wolverine baptized, my sister, DK's 3 adult siblings, and his parents all came to visit. My sister was in town the longest and was staying with us. We offered his parents a room and they declined since they knew it would start to feel crowded, so we asked one of his sisters if she wanted our 2nd guest room. OSIL threw a fit when we didn't ask her, but I was like, "nope, capacity." We have a 5BR house, with 2 used (ours, wolverine's) and 2 set up as guest rooms (1 full, 1 twin). I didn't feel like tripping over people on air mattresses everywhere, so was like, if there's not a bed for you, you need to stay at a hotel.

Hotels are full of beds. Beds for days.

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