Dear Prudence,
My parents divorced when I was 8 because the woman my father was having an affair with got pregnant with my half sister (the woman is now my stepmother). My father paid child support but was never involved in my life or my brothers’ lives. He did not pay for our college education. Both my brothers joined the military, while I took out loans and worked to pay for school. I have gotten friendlier with my father’s second family in the past few years, especially my half sister, who is a sweet girl. Then she mentioned that she’s deferring college because our father is paying for her to travel the world for a year, and she doesn’t have to worry about loans either, because he doesn’t want his daughter to be in debt.
I am doing fine. I have a good job and have almost paid off my own loans. But as my sister was prattling on, I saw red. I tried to change the subject but she wanted to know why I was not happy for her. So I told the truth in the ugliest way possible: Her mother screwed a married man whose wife worked to put him through medical school, and her precious Daddy screwed over his kids once he got a newer model. I asked her how she thought my brothers and I paid for our education or cars or apartments when we turned 18? How many of our games and plays and graduation he missed? It was a loathsome stream of vile accusations that I regret. I haven't spoken to her or my father since then. I don't know what to say or if I should say anything.