All these people deserve a hand slap and/or a death glare

mrsconn23 · July 2016

Dear Prudence,
I am expecting my second child soon. We did not find out the gender and people (including long-time co-workers) cannot seem to stop commenting on my appearance and how it means I'm either having a boy or girl, trying to touch my belly, or suggesting names. People are also repeatedly asking if I'm dilated. Is it wrong of me to refuse to answer these questions or to simply smile and say "We will see"? I feel this is really personal information, but don't want to come off as rude.

—Not Pushing Yet

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

For some reason we women lose bodily autonomy while pregnant...or at least other people forget that we should have it. I was really fortunate while pregnant that no one tried to touch me, but everyone asked if we knew what we were having. It's definitely not wrong of LW to say "We will see." But a more effective response might be, "Why do you ask?"

ShesSoCold · July 2016

It would be horribly inappropriate for me to walk up to a woman and ask her about her vagina. Why do people think that's okay during pregnancy?

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

ShesSoCold said:

It would be horribly inappropriate for me to walk up to a woman and ask her about her vagina. Why do people think that's okay during pregnancy?

People seriously lose their minds around pregnant women! I can't explain it, but people that would never think to put their hands on another person suddenly forget that it's inappropriate when the person in question is carrying another person.

kvruns · July 2016

a month ago a friend "rubbed my belly" at a wedding we were at. she just found out I was pregnant and was excited about my bump. Except I didn't have one, what she saw was the unflattering angle the dress I wore created (it was my only dress that fit), it was like that before getting pregnant because I carry extra weight in the gut and at certain angles it showed with the dress. I was like that isn't a baby bump, it is literally an I'm fat bump but alas she tried to do it anyway.

VarunaTT · July 2016

I'm the friend who says things like, "Yes [friend name], how is the current condition of your vagina?" or "Don't you love it when people touch you w/out your permission?!" in front of that rude person asking. It annoys me when my pregnant friends are treated like that. The weirdest part is that rude person will inevitably be annoyed at me. Sorry that I embarrassed you for asking an incredibly personal question that is none of your business. But it saves pregnant friend from having to be seen as the rude one b/c pregnant women are supposed to be so damn nice about such invasive questions.

charlotte989875 · July 2016

If someone asks if you're dilated the appropriate responses would be "I don't know, so you want to check"?

But seriosuly, no. Keep your hands to yourself wasn't just a good lesson for kindergarteners.

TrixieJess · July 2016

I used my step-mom's response when people would ask what I was having, "a puppy, we were hoping for a baby, but the ultrasound said so and we're thrilled", then walk away. As for touching, my own mother asked permission to touch my belly. I had one stranger try and I had them in a wrist lock before they knew what was up. Martial arts training comes in handy sometimes.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

TrixieJess said:

I used my step-mom's response when people would ask what I was having, "a puppy, we were hoping for a baby, but the ultrasound said so and we're thrilled", then walk away. As for touching, my own mother asked permission to touch my belly. I had one stranger try and I had them in a wrist lock before they knew what was up. Martial arts training comes in handy sometimes.

We had expectant moms on the bump constantly asking us to look at their ultrasound and tell them what it was. I would usually respond with, "Sadly it does not appear to be a velociraptor."

MissKittyDanger · July 2016

DrillSergeantCat said:

TrixieJess said:

I used my step-mom's response when people would ask what I was having, "a puppy, we were hoping for a baby, but the ultrasound said so and we're thrilled", then walk away. As for touching, my own mother asked permission to touch my belly. I had one stranger try and I had them in a wrist lock before they knew what was up. Martial arts training comes in handy sometimes.

We had expectant moms on the bump constantly asking us to look at their ultrasound and tell them what it was. I would usually respond with, "Sadly it does not appear to be a velociraptor."

THIS!
I personally wouldn't have an issue with my coworkers as they are both mothers and know the line not to cross, but unsolcited touching? No thanks.

Also .... I was talking with my granny last night about future baby plans and she asked if I hoped for a certain gender {not rudely, just curious}
I literally said "hoping for a baby but could be a velociraptor" - thank gawd my family understands my humour, but I'm using it again if people ask too many questions

*Barbie* · July 2016

"did you seriously just ask about the condition of my cervix? how's your sigmoid colon holding up?"

mrsconn23 · July 2016

MissKittyDanger said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

TrixieJess said:

I used my step-mom's response when people would ask what I was having, "a puppy, we were hoping for a baby, but the ultrasound said so and we're thrilled", then walk away. As for touching, my own mother asked permission to touch my belly. I had one stranger try and I had them in a wrist lock before they knew what was up. Martial arts training comes in handy sometimes.

We had expectant moms on the bump constantly asking us to look at their ultrasound and tell them what it was. I would usually respond with, "Sadly it does not appear to be a velociraptor."

THIS!
I personally wouldn't have an issue with my coworkers as they are both mothers and know the line not to cross, but unsolcited touching? No thanks.

Also .... I was talking with my granny last night about future baby plans and she asked if I hoped for a certain gender {not rudely, just curious}
I literally said "hoping for a baby but could be a velociraptor" - thank gawd my family understands my humour, but I'm using it again if people ask too many questions

I told my sister with her most recent pregnancy that until there was ultrasound proof, the baby could be a raptor. I was all up on FB with #teamraptor. I even gave her a stuffed dinosaur and put a sign on it that said, #teamraptor.

Then when she was looking for baby names for my nephew, she came across 'Trex' (as in T-rex) as a suggestion...So we then referred to him as Baby Trex until he was born. It was a fun game while it lasted.

kerbohl · July 2016

One of my favourite books is The Distaff Gospels - I'm a bit of a geek, but it's a 15th century Old French book of advice by women. My point is, so much of that advice was trying to figure out if a woman was having a boy or a girl. "If you are ravenously hungry and like to watch sports while pregnant, you will have a boy - if you can't stop embroidering and dancing, you will have a girl" and on and on like that. I would so start whipping out some medieval advice. "While, I've been eating a lot of rabbit's heads, so I'm definitely having a hare!"

YogaSandy · July 2016

When I was pregnant I told people they could only touch my stomach if I could grab their boob. I was told that was wierd. Exactly.

FTR the only person I ever grabbed was my mom. Usually the suggestion made them back off.

MissKittyDanger · July 2016

mrs.conn23 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

TrixieJess said:

I used my step-mom's response when people would ask what I was having, "a puppy, we were hoping for a baby, but the ultrasound said so and we're thrilled", then walk away. As for touching, my own mother asked permission to touch my belly. I had one stranger try and I had them in a wrist lock before they knew what was up. Martial arts training comes in handy sometimes.

We had expectant moms on the bump constantly asking us to look at their ultrasound and tell them what it was. I would usually respond with, "Sadly it does not appear to be a velociraptor."

THIS!
I personally wouldn't have an issue with my coworkers as they are both mothers and know the line not to cross, but unsolcited touching? No thanks.

Also .... I was talking with my granny last night about future baby plans and she asked if I hoped for a certain gender {not rudely, just curious}
I literally said "hoping for a baby but could be a velociraptor" - thank gawd my family understands my humour, but I'm using it again if people ask too many questions

I told my sister with her most recent pregnancy that until there was ultrasound proof, the baby could be a raptor. I was all up on FB with #teamraptor. I even gave her a stuffed dinosaur and put a sign on it that said, #teamraptor.

Then when she was looking for baby names for my nephew, she came across 'Trex' (as in T-rex) as a suggestion...So we then referred to him as Baby Trex until he was born. It was a fun game while it lasted.

Stealing in future for hilarity

Also, can't stop laughing at #teamraptor for another reason. On Netflix there's a comedian named Iliza Shlesinger {"Freezing Hot" if you're curious} and she makes a joke about turning her vag into a raptor and calls it #RaptorVag
So that makes it even more funny XD

All these people deserve a hand slap and/or a death glare

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