Wedding Etiquette Forum

Mind the Gap!

I have a dear friend whom I have known since junior high. I am in her wedding this coming September and today the BP received an email outlining a preliminary timeline for the wedding weekend. 

There is a freaking 5 hour gap in between the wedding ceremony and the reception. I feel bad for my FI because he knows no one except the bride and groom. 

I reached out to her about it and that was the only time the reception venue was available that day and the ceremony location is booked solid. 

Ugh. 

Re: Mind the Gap!

  • None of this makes sense to me.  In addition to the major etiquette blunder, what can the bride possibly want to do for 5 hours in between while in a heavy, expensive wedding gown?
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  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    But all the guests should be honored they're even getting an invite!
    ~sarcasm~

    5 hours is crazy!! Does she at least have suggestions for things to do in between or is everyone going home between then?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MCmeow said:
    But all the guests should be honored they're even getting an invite!
    ~sarcasm~

    5 hours is crazy!! Does she at least have suggestions for things to do in between or is everyone going home between then?
    No! She said most people are local so they should have no issue filling the time.

    *Bangs head on keyboard*
  • NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2016
    None of this makes sense to me.  In addition to the major etiquette blunder, what can the bride possibly want to do for 5 hours in between while in a heavy, expensive wedding gown?
    WP is taking photos, that's it. 

    Luckily, FI is going to meet up with some friends so he won't be alone for that long, he's picking me up after photos are done.

    ETF- grammar is hard.
  • NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2016
    jacques27 said:
    Ugh, indeed.  I really hate when people don't respect my time.  Why do people (i.e. your friend and others like her) not realize then that clearly isn't the day or that clearly isn't the venue and find another day or place?  Instead it's just "La la la la, oh, you can't accommodate the times we need and I have to be rude to my loved ones?  Sign me up!  La la la la my loved ones can suck it!"

    I hope* whatever it is she's planning on the wedding party doing in that five hours includes properly hosting the significant others of all wedding party members and inviting them with.  Otherwise, I would go to the wedding alone or peace out on any wedding party activities during that five hours because I wouldn't leave my SO for five hours unhosted while I'm hanging out with the wedding party.



    *Actually, what I really hope is that she either comes to her senses and finds another plan or finds a way to properly host all her guests for the five hour gap.
    There is no cocktail hour for guests. Her explanation is that most people are local, so they should have no issues filling their time. 
     
    WP is taking photos, that's it. She has arranged transportation for us and FI is meeting up with friends from college so he's not alone. He offered to pick me up after photos so we can get tacos.

    That's why I love him. 

    ETA-explanation about hosting guests
  • I'm tired and cranky just thinking about that. How far ahead of the ceremony do you have to be present? Are you all doing that hours-of-getting-ready-together business?

    I love my friends, and I've always enjoyed being a bridesmaid, but damn if it isn't just too long of a day. The last wedding I was in that had a gap I had to show up at 8am for the group getting ready stuff.
    ________________________________


  • I'm tired and cranky just thinking about that. How far ahead of the ceremony do you have to be present? Are you all doing that hours-of-getting-ready-together business?

    I love my friends, and I've always enjoyed being a bridesmaid, but damn if it isn't just too long of a day. The last wedding I was in that had a gap I had to show up at 8am for the group getting ready stuff.
    She has told us to get there between 8:30-9:00 am :-( and yes, we are getting ready together for pictures of the BM's. There are 8 (maybe 7) bridesmaids.

    I hope she feeds us, I get witchy if I have not eaten all day. 
  • I'm tired and cranky just thinking about that. How far ahead of the ceremony do you have to be present? Are you all doing that hours-of-getting-ready-together business?

    I love my friends, and I've always enjoyed being a bridesmaid, but damn if it isn't just too long of a day. The last wedding I was in that had a gap I had to show up at 8am for the group getting ready stuff.
    She has told us to get there between 8:30-9:00 am :-( and yes, we are getting ready together for pictures of the BM's. There are 8 (maybe 7) bridesmaids.

    I hope she feeds us, I get witchy if I have not eaten all day. 
    If the food isn't already mentioned in her plans, I'd call it out like, "Oh hey, is there anything you want me to contribute to your food stash? If you're set in the food department, count on me for mimosa fixings!" Reading between the lines, you'd better have food, nudge nudge. 
    The day I had to be there at 8am, the bride's mom provided fruit platters, yogurt, and deli sandwiches and veggie platters. (10 women, yup.)
    ________________________________


  • She said we can all get our own breakfast before heading to the church...um ok?

    @banana468, @thisismynickname , @PrettyGirlLost I have called her and talked to her about the food situation with the WP. She stated it was not in the budget, but she would "see what they can do". I offered to pay for the trays and that it would be no issue for me. She declined and said she would talk to her mom. 

    As far as the rest of the guests, she's not budging. Cocktail hour was not in the budget. I suggested a tab at a local bar close to the reception venue, then I found out they have invited 300 guests. OMG. I can't even.

  • aurianna said:
    I mean, it is her day so guests shouldn't be upset about the event blocking out 8-10 hours of their Saturday.
    ...not.

    Reminds me of the time I went to a wedding with an 11am ceremony and a 6pm reception (most guests were local).
    The ceremony was in this sweet country church 50 minutes from my house and honestly 30 minutes from anything else (miles of gravel road and even a bit of dirt road to get to this thing. remote). Oh, well, there was one thing by it: the reception hall was literally next door.
    So it would have been... drive 50 minutes there. Sit through hour ceremony. Drive 50 minutes home. Sit at home 4 hours at home. Drive 50 minutes back...
    Ended up crashing at a friend's house who only lived 30 minutes away. We watched an entire baseball game during the gap.

    Some couples are seriously crazy.
    I was specific with my FI about the location of the ceremony vs. reception venue. Our ceremony location and reception/hotel location is a 5-minute drive from one another. Holla. 
  • auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2016
    aurianna said:
    I mean, it is her day so guests shouldn't be upset about the event blocking out 8-10 hours of their Saturday.
    ...not.

    Reminds me of the time I went to a wedding with an 11am ceremony and a 6pm reception (most guests were local).
    The ceremony was in this sweet country church 50 minutes from my house and honestly 30 minutes from anything else (miles of gravel road and even a bit of dirt road to get to this thing. remote). Oh, well, there was one thing by it: the reception hall was literally next door.
    So it would have been... drive 50 minutes there. Sit through hour ceremony. Drive 50 minutes home. Sit at home 4 hours at home. Drive 50 minutes back...
    Ended up crashing at a friend's house who only lived 30 minutes away. We watched an entire baseball game during the gap.

    Some couples are seriously crazy.
    I was specific with my FI about the location of the ceremony vs. reception venue. Our ceremony location and reception/hotel location is a 5-minute drive from one another. Holla. 
    Which is great... when there isn't a 6 hour gap between the ceremony and reception and literally nothing else to do in the general area. :)
  • aurianna said:
    aurianna said:
    I mean, it is her day so guests shouldn't be upset about the event blocking out 8-10 hours of their Saturday.
    ...not.

    Reminds me of the time I went to a wedding with an 11am ceremony and a 6pm reception (most guests were local).
    The ceremony was in this sweet country church 50 minutes from my house and honestly 30 minutes from anything else (miles of gravel road and even a bit of dirt road to get to this thing. remote). Oh, well, there was one thing by it: the reception hall was literally next door.
    So it would have been... drive 50 minutes there. Sit through hour ceremony. Drive 50 minutes home. Sit at home 4 hours at home. Drive 50 minutes back...
    Ended up crashing at a friend's house who only lived 30 minutes away. We watched an entire baseball game during the gap.

    Some couples are seriously crazy.
    I was specific with my FI about the location of the ceremony vs. reception venue. Our ceremony location and reception/hotel location is a 5-minute drive from one another. Holla. 
    Which is great... when there isn't a 6 hour gap between the ceremony and reception and literally nothing else to do in the general area. :)
    But there was baseball! America's past time.

    ...said no one ever lol 
  • I like you. Keep coming around.  :)
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My goodness.... what a mess of priorities. Good for you OP. 
  • And this is why brides should be blocked from Pinterest.  Yes, there are amazing decorating ideas, helpful checklists, etc, but there are also so many bad ideas on there like BM robes and "BM duty" checklists.  I'm glad your friend has seen the crazy, OP (well, except for the gap).
  • missfrodo said:
    And this is why brides should be blocked from Pinterest.  Yes, there are amazing decorating ideas, helpful checklists, etc, but there are also so many bad ideas on there like BM robes and "BM duty" checklists.  I'm glad your friend has seen the crazy, OP (well, except for the gap).
    I took a step back from Pinterest a while back. It's a great resource for recipes, decorating, DIY, etc. but it gives brides unrealistic expectations for their "big day" and their vision.  
  • banana468 said:
    If you have robes and no food I'd call her out.   She's a friend right?   I'd say something like "I have to say that as your friend, it comes off like you care more about how I look and far less about how I feel when you tell me that you want me in a matching robe but you won't buy me food." 
    So much this.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • banana468 said:
    If you have robes and no food I'd call her out.   She's a friend right?   I'd say something like "I have to say that as your friend, it comes off like you care more about how I look and far less about how I feel when you tell me that you want me in a matching robe but you won't buy me food." 
    So much this.
    Unfortunately, the robes could not be returned because they are considered to be undergarments. She's going to donate them to Goodwill instead. 

    No underwear pictures for us!


  • banana468 said:
    If you have robes and no food I'd call her out.   She's a friend right?   I'd say something like "I have to say that as your friend, it comes off like you care more about how I look and far less about how I feel when you tell me that you want me in a matching robe but you won't buy me food." 
    So much this.
    Unfortunately, the robes could not be returned because they are considered to be undergarments. She's going to donate them to Goodwill instead. 

    No underwear pictures for us!



    YAAAS!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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