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Wedding Etiquette Forum
anothergirl2
member
Sending late invitations
Hi everyone. So, I'm in a bit of an awkward situation.
I had to send my invitations pretty late, about a month out, due to being extremely busy studying for the MCAT while planning the wedding. The thing is, mostly none of my guests knows this since I haven't really discussed that I am going through this process with anybody.
The wedding is less than one month out and there are still about 5 invitations I haven't sent, mostly due to not having the addresses of the recipients even though I requested them on time.
One of them is for a relative of my mom's best friend, who is a 'prominent figure' and whom we know is highly likely that will not attend; but we would like to invite since this person has been very kind to us even though we have only met a couple of times. Now, I just received their address, but I'm afraid that they will think they were B-listed or a second-thought due to the late invite, and I really do not want to offend them.
Should I include a note on the invitation explaining the reason for the delay and expressing our apologies? Or should I just let it be?
As a side note all the other invites I haven't sent are for closer relatives/friends who know they are invited already.
As always thanks for your input.
I had to send my invitations pretty late, about a month out, due to being extremely busy studying for the MCAT while planning the wedding. The thing is, mostly none of my guests knows this since I haven't really discussed that I am going through this process with anybody.
The wedding is less than one month out and there are still about 5 invitations I haven't sent, mostly due to not having the addresses of the recipients even though I requested them on time.
One of them is for a relative of my mom's best friend, who is a 'prominent figure' and whom we know is highly likely that will not attend; but we would like to invite since this person has been very kind to us even though we have only met a couple of times. Now, I just received their address, but I'm afraid that they will think they were B-listed or a second-thought due to the late invite, and I really do not want to offend them.
Should I include a note on the invitation explaining the reason for the delay and expressing our apologies? Or should I just let it be?
As a side note all the other invites I haven't sent are for closer relatives/friends who know they are invited already.
As always thanks for your input.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sending late invitations
If you are going to send it just put it in the mail, no excuses. Your excuse really isn't very good anyway- are you not marrying another person who has hands? Could they not have done this if you were really too busy?
Typically, with B-listing, people get their invitation at least 3-4 weeks after the other guests did. That's usually the problem. You get an invitation close to the wedding, and you find out some people got theirs 3 months ago.
A lot of people send their invitations a little last minute. It's not prudent--but it doesn't necessarily mean they're B-listing. Just send the invitations ASAP and don't worry about explaining in a note. If asked later, you can just explain that you're sorry you got all the invitations out a little late.
Just be on time with the invitations with your next wedding.
(kidding)
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The biggest concern would be if this person knew other wedding guests and thus knew they received their invite later than the rest (then they might think B listing). But, people do plan weddings on short notice, so technically not wrong to send a invitation close to the wedding date, just realize it makes it less likely for a guest to attend on short notice.
Either way, I wouldn't send an explanation but if it's the latter I would assume the invite came late because I didn't get you my address.
We have met this person several times and she had a really nice gesture with us a while back, however we do not know her that well, but we really do want to invite her and her family, even though they will most likely decline.
Also, her mother is one of my mom's best friends and she is invited, so they will know they got it late due to her not giving us their address on time (I do not have their contact info and had to ask her for their address).
I mailed all of the invites about a week ago, and the reason I couldn't email theirs was because her mom just sent me their address. My fiance has been working non-stop for the past months, he gets home super late at night and didn't have time to do the invites either, also he had no way of contacting these people since they are from my side of the family.
I agree with you guys that it may be best to just send it and don't say anything at this point.
FWIW, two of our invites were returned to sender because I screwed up the addresses. I resent them as soon as I got them back (3-4 weeks until the wedding, originally sent 6 weeks out but took 3 to come back in the mail) and called the people to apologize and ensure they knew they were invited. We also mistakenly never sent an invite to our next door neighbor (we each thought the other addressed it) and ended up bringing one over around the same time. Great etiquette? No, but it is what happened and we did want to include them. Mistakes happen. Send the invite and move on.
At the end of the day, this is one of those not the end of the world things to me. So they sent the invitations out a little late? Flaky yes, but huge red flag character flaws? Not really.
Everyone has things that take up their time, but sometimes, some people do just get overwhelmed and become flaky. I'd cut them some slack.
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