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Rehearsal Dinner Dress Code

dyerwisedyerwise member
250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are 58 days out from the wedding, so I may be posting a lot of last minute questions...

We are having our rehearsal dinner at a bocce ball court/ Italian restaurant. It is a very nice place with amazing food. We will be having a sit down meal on the patio and then playing bocce ball on two outdoor courts. They are covered and have space heaters even though it should be a nice warm evening.

The facility has a dress code for anyone playing bocce and for anyone dining at the restaurant. No high heels are allowed on the bocce courts and men are not allowed to wear tank tops. It is also suggested that no one wear opened toed shoes because they could hurt themselves.

FMIL is printing the invitations and has asked me what would be the best way to word the dress code on the invites.

Would it be ok, etiquette wise, to say something like "The restaurant asks that no high heels be worn on the courts and that men do not wear tank tops. It is also suggested that closed toe shoes be worn to prevent injuries." ?
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner Dress Code

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    The opened toed shoes thing seems silly.  We typically play bocce in sandals. . . no one has ever been hit by a ball, let alone gotten smashed in the toes.  Even so, getting hit in the foot with a ball even in closed toed shoes could hurt.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I think what you put is fine, but maybe start it with "If you'd like to play bocce". Maybe some women don't want to play. Will they still have to be in the court area? Can they just take off their high heels and go barefoot in case someone forgets? Are wedges OK? 

    Either way, you 100% need to inform your guests of this. I wouldn't ever wear flat shoes to a wedding related event. I doubt any of the guys are going to show up to a half way decent place in a tank, but better safe than sorry. If it's a nice restaurant, I would think at least 75% of your women are going to wear heels. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    The opened toed shoes thing seems silly.  We typically play bocce in sandals. . . no one has ever been hit by a ball, let alone gotten smashed in the toes.  Even so, getting hit in the foot with a ball even in closed toed shoes could hurt.
    Depends on the bocce court.  Some courts are made with oyster shells so there is a chance of injury from that.  Unlikely, but still.

    Plus the general public + booze can equally stupidity.   Add in sue happy people, well the restaurant has to cover itself.     Doesn't sound like it's a rule as much as suggestion because they have indeed seen some injuries with open toed shoes.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • SaintPaulGalSaintPaulGal member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    I agree that there is nothing wrong with mentioning a dress code when it is imposed by the venue, and particularly in this case where people would almost certainly show up in heels if they were unaware of the policy.  I also agree with skipping any mention of tank tops unless you have reason to believe your crowd would be the types to dress that way for a fancy dinner.
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  • dyerwisedyerwise member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Thanks everyone!

    I don't know if its allowed to play barefoot if someone wants to remove their shoes, I could ask that.

    I'm a bit nervous about the guys in tank tops because last year FI was in a wedding where three of his GMs were GM's and most everyone who showed up were in tanks tops or some type of gym clothing.

    I could just have FI tell his GM that it is a nicer restaurant and hope they get the hint.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    The opened toed shoes thing seems silly.  We typically play bocce in sandals. . . no one has ever been hit by a ball, let alone gotten smashed in the toes.  Even so, getting hit in the foot with a ball even in closed toed shoes could hurt.
    Damn it, it's been more than two weeks since my toenail had to be surgically removed, and it's still bleeding!  Yes, I was wearing sandals on the plane.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    dyerwise said:
    Thanks everyone!

    I don't know if its allowed to play barefoot if someone wants to remove their shoes, I could ask that.

    I'm a bit nervous about the guys in tank tops because last year FI was in a wedding where three of his GMs were GM's and most everyone who showed up were in tanks tops or some type of gym clothing.

    I could just have FI tell his GM that it is a nicer restaurant and hope they get the hint.

    They're his GM aka his nearest and dearest...he can be blunt with them.  You can be direct with your closest friends.  Need be he should just tell them "no tank tops at this restaurant".  Ditto @LondonLisa the bocce/heels thing is fine on the invitation but I'd leave off the part about tank tops.  Sounds like a really fun RD, enjoy!
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    LondonLisa said:
    I understand the heels issue, but do you really think men would wear a tank top to a nice Italian restaurant? 

    I would only mention the heels, saying "if you would like to play bocce please note only flat shoes are allowed on the court". 

    Honestly, saying 'no tank tops' to a rehearsal dinner is a bit like saying 'please don't wear hot pants with your bum hanging out and nipple pasties' to a christening. 
    Have you ever seen The Jersey Shore?

    That's like an Italian Tuxedo :-P

    CMGragain said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    The opened toed shoes thing seems silly.  We typically play bocce in sandals. . . no one has ever been hit by a ball, let alone gotten smashed in the toes.  Even so, getting hit in the foot with a ball even in closed toed shoes could hurt.
    Damn it, it's been more than two weeks since my toenail had to be surgically removed, and it's still bleeding!  Yes, I was wearing sandals on the plane.

    That was a bocce accident?!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You could add "all shirts must have sleeves" or something like that.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would write something like, "Venue's dress code requests all shirts must have sleeves. If you would like to play bocce, only flat closed toed shoes are allowed on the court".

    At first I also thought, "what guy would show up to a RD at a restaurant in a tank top!" And then I thought.... Jersey Shore.
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