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Yes, forget the money and never lend her anything again.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
About eight months ago I lent $1,000 to a friend. She was unemployed then and needed it for car insurance and some other stuff. A couple of months later she found a job and paid me back half. Last week, we had dinner together and I was going to ask about the second half, but she told me a) she was out of work again and b) she was getting married and was hoping to get employed again soon so she could save every penny for her wedding in April. I can’t ask it back now, right? Should I just forget about this money?
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Re: Yes, forget the money and never lend her anything again.

  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yep. This is the reason you never loan money to people you want to see in the same light again. Not your friends, not your family. If you want to help them with their situation, give them the money with no expectations of repayment.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You could, but you probably won't see the money and will likely strain your friendship. I think you need to write this off as a gift. She knows she borrowed money, she paid you back some. I wouldn't bring it up and just let it go. If she eventually pays you back, great. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Let it go and move on. If she randomly pays it back, great. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Prudie's advice was terrible on this one. She suggested not being a bill collector by setting up a monthly payment plan. <insert eyeroll>

    The fact is, unless this friend freely chooses to pay the money back the friendship is over. The loaner obviously has this stuck in her craw and will not be able to forget it but if she gives a payment plan, the debtor will feel like they've got a business relationship instead of a friendship. 
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    It sucks, but what are you going to do. I have changed my viewpoint on situations like these. It's about your intentions, and they were to help your friend. You can't hold on to all of that anger about stuff.

    I think those unexplained financial little moments make things average out in the long run. You know, a $50 check comes in the mail or you got a surprise reduction on a bill.


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