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Registering and Gifts

being told where to register (rant)

So, I'm all for a bridal registry - mostly for the extra perk of most places giving you a discount on the stuff that wasn't bought from your list - but I also know it makes buying a gift SO much easier if there's a wide range of stuff on your registry.

keeping that in mind, i've got like 190 items on a registry at Macy's.  Prices range from $5 to $350 (that's the kitchenaid that i don't expect anybody to get for me but of COURSE i'd love it if they did).  I feel like there's a wide enough range of gifts that if people want to get a ten dollar gift (not that i'm expecting ANY gifts of course, but I know there will be people looking for stuff to get) that's totally doable. 

.... but here's the kicker.  at thanksgiving dinner with my future in-laws they asked where I was registered.  the look of horror when i told them macys was SO unexpected.  the majority of the family lives in the midwest.  everybody has a macys.  but I guess the closest one to the grandmother is a 45 minute drive away.  yes, that's not just around the corner.  but this is a woman who A) lives in a VERY small town and pretty much EVERYTHING is an hour away and 2) Drives to SCarolina and Florida on a regular basis. 

as we were getting ready to leave, i was asked (in that manner that you know you're really being TOLD) to register at bed bath and beyond.  ok seriously? my showers arent until january and my wedding is in MARCH.  certainly you could order something from macy's online if you were going to buy a gift and then have it shipped. or drive the 45 minutes to macy's at some point in those months. 

who tells people WHERE to register? ugh.

but, because I am a total pushover, i registered us for some stuff at BB&B. snow removal types of things and vacuums and a cooler and a picnic basket. and that was pretty much it.  i don't ever shop at BB&B, so why would i have things we'd need to register for from there?

i realize i'm being a brat about this, but i needed to vent and rant to someone not in my family. :)

has this ever happened to anyone else? being told where to register? it seems weird.
.... excuse me while i go get those pesky kids off my lawn. ;)


sincerely, 
THE OLD

Re: being told where to register (rant)

  • It's really annoying to be asked to do something in a 'I'm actually telling you' kind of way. I sympathise, between my mum and aunt I know what you mean! It's not the worst thing in the world though, hey you might get a new vaccum for your trouble!
                 
  • I was originally going to register at Macy's, because I figured they are near everyone - same as you. When I told my mom that I was thinking of registering there instead of BB&B, I got, "Oh, well I always thought Macy's was on the expensive side. I think BB&B has better prices." Not what I expected to hear either, so I feel for you. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't think you're being a brat about this. I do think your fiance should have told his family that you guys have already registered at the place you both wanted to and that you would not be creating another registry at their request. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    OliveOilsMomSP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2015
    lyndausvi said:

    I don't think you are being a brat.  Nor do I agree with them telling you to do something.


    That said, I'm a fan of multiple registries.   Especially when people live all over the place.   The closest Macy's to me is 4 hours away. The closest BB&B is 40 minutes.   I shop at BB&B more often because (1) it's closer and (2) I always have a 20% coupon.  

    Which brings me to another point on why I like multiple registries, people typically have alliances to certain stores, which often give them bigger discounts.  Actually I can't even tell you the last time I was in a Macy's.  My sister loves Macy's  (card holder) and is forever getting coupons and/or points and stuff.  I do not get any of that stuff.   But I have a BB&B coupon texted to me all the time.  Plus the ones you get in the mail.      If you registered on Amazon I would benefit from the free shipping because I have Amazon Prime.  


    So again, I do not like the way they went about it, I think it's a great idea to have a registry from different stores.

    I agree with this. While I am not particularly a fan of registries in general, it makes sense to me to have multiple registries, especially if a large percentage of your guests don't live near or patronize a store you want to register at.

    But for anyone to express horror that you didn't register, or didn't register at a specific store, and demands that you do so, is out of line.

    That said, I myself probably wouldn't consider it a hill worth dying on unless I really don't like the store or unless the relatives were really demanding and accusatory about it.
    InLoveInQueensHeffalump
  • I'm thinking it's about the coupons as well. The same product is 20% cheaper at BB than Macy's. 

    I also think that even if there is not a ton on that registry, people know you are open about that store. I had an aunt call and tell me to remove something from my registry because she had found it at a different store for a better price.  

    InLoveInQueens
  • See I didn't register at BB&B because I felt like it's kind of pricey for what they offer, and better can be found online or at other stores.  But yeah I guess people like to use the coupons (although stores like Macy's often have huge sales on home stuff).  

    I got a bit of shit from a few family members of H's because I didn't register in a store that exists in his hometown.  Now, his hometown doesn't even have a Target so my options were Walmart, KMart, Herberger's (which we don't have here), and JC Penney (which in hindsight we could have done but I felt like their selection was really limited).  

    I figure my choices all offered online ordering, or if that wouldn't work, they could just gift whatever if they wanted.  People either gave us cash, or in the case of his grandma and great aunt, they just gifted us whatever... his grandma gave some plastic storage containers (which are always useful) and these hideous pillows that now belong to the dog (he loves pillows).  His aunt actually gave us some really nice Ralph Lauren towels.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What have we come to in our society?

    Registries were only for convenience so people knew what colors you liked and you wouldn't get 5 toasters. To expect that people can only want gifts in YOUR (general you) price range and preferred store is obnoxious. Registries aren't required, gifts aren't required, cash is a great gift, as is a hand-knitted blanket or silver picture frame or something. 
    Geez-louise. 

    We only registered for like, 30 things, and at Crate & Barrel. Sorrynotsorry. We got mostly cash. 
    ________________________________


    SP29
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My family wanted me to register at Walmart. Yeah, no. 

    Still, we did end up registering at both BB&B and Macy's because one or the other was convenient to the majority of our guests. I found pretty much all the same things at both stores (even the same china patterns). We tried to register for things at whichever was regularly priced cheaper and ended up with a pretty good split. 
  • 20% coupons! 
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If she wants to buy you a gift from another store, she can. If she wants to buy you a gift of the registry, she can look at your Macy's registry and buy the item at BBB. Or she can buy an off registry gift anywhere she likes.

    I find Macy's to be the better deal with sales and coupons, I'm not a fan of BBB, I find there prices to be much higher since things rarely go on sale.

    I didn't register. Its not required, so no one should feel justified telling you to register at additional stores.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    SP29
  • We setup 3 registries: Macy's, Amazon, and Uncommon Goods. (Local/Online, Online, Online/print catalog). I actually tried to setup BB&B, but their system kept deleting the second line of the shipping address, and I gave up.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2016
    @Windycityyarn, please check the date on a thread before posting a comment.  This thread is from last year, and the most recent comment was last January.   It is considered to be bad manners to resurrect old posts like this.  Do feel free to start your own thread if you have a question.

    @KnotRiley, could you please close this zombie thread?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCat
  • So incredibly sorry!!!!!!!!! I checked my Emily Post book (18th edition) and it simply didn't cover online forum etiquette. You should really ask them to include that so that piece of etiquette so that others can avoid the horrible faux pas of offering help too late. 

    (You do know that you are absolutely begging to be trolled, right? If you wanted to just communicate that to me, you could have private messaged me, which would have been a gracious way to go about it. Or if you have to be public about it, be supportive, but educational. Instead, you publicly told me off for violating a non-written rule of the hive, which makes it feel like it's less about helping, and more about exerting pressure and influence.)
    Knottie1474415544
  • So incredibly sorry!!!!!!!!! I checked my Emily Post book (18th edition) and it simply didn't cover online forum etiquette. You should really ask them to include that so that piece of etiquette so that others can avoid the horrible faux pas of offering help too late. 

    (You do know that you are absolutely begging to be trolled, right? If you wanted to just communicate that to me, you could have private messaged me, which would have been a gracious way to go about it. Or if you have to be public about it, be supportive, but educational. Instead, you publicly told me off for violating a non-written rule of the hive, which makes it feel like it's less about helping, and more about exerting pressure and influence.)
    @Windycityyarn, are you basically saying that if you don't like the manner in which people post then they're "asking" for retaliation??   Really?? 


    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueenscrowsgirl15
  • @Windycityyarn, maybe you took offence but CMG's response was the typical response for anyway who responds to an old thread and should not be taken personally nor in a defensive manner. Also, her response was posted publically to benefit
    anyone else who didn't notice the date and would otherwise comment. A private message does not benefit the community at large. 
    SP29ILoveBeachMusicOurWildKingdomcrowsgirl15
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