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Etiquette

How Would You Deal With This Invite Addressing Situation

Hi Everyone!

I have a childhood friend and her whole family invited to my wedding because they are like family to me as well. The friend, let's call her Jane, moves a lot and does not have a set place to live. She is an actress and jumps from place to place plus she just graduated. I want to invite her and her significant other. I think the only safe place to send her invite is to her parent's home but how do I address an envelope to the whole family plus her significant other? What about her younger brother's girlfriend (he's still in college)? 

This is popping up with many of my childhood friends who either live between school and their parents' house but also have significant others.

Am I overthinking? I don't know much about invite etiquette, so please don't be upset if this should be obvious to me. 

Thank you so much!  

Re: How Would You Deal With This Invite Addressing Situation

  • Send one invite to her parents and a separate one with Jane and her SO. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • Separate invitations. Everyone over 18 should get a separate invitation anyways, even if it's going to the same address 
    OurWildKingdomSP29OliveOilsMom
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can invite Jane and her SO separately.  After placing their names on the outer envelope, start a new line.  Begin that line with "c/o"  (in care of), and follow that with Mr. and Mrs. Jane's Parents.   Finish by including the address of her parents.
    OurWildKingdomSP29
  • Each social unit/person over 18 gets their own invite. Even if it goes to the same address. just ask her where she wants it mailed. Maybe she'll say her folks, maybe she'll say her SO's.
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    OurWildKingdomMesmrEweSP29
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2016
    Are you doing inner envelopes?
    That's where you'd put her boyfriend. And on a separate invitation, her brother's boyfriend girlfriend.
    If you're not doing inner envelopes I'm not sure how you handle the SOs that don't live there too. I'm sure someone here knows how to address those.

    I know it seems wasteful sending multiple invites to the same address, but it's respectful to give each social unit their own invite. That's any adults/couples.

    I remember at my wedding I invited my step-mom's parents and her brother. her brother is in his 40s but is special needs and lives at home with the parents. We sent him his own invite and I was told that he was so pleased to get his own invite and fill in the RSVP himself.
    I'm sure brother still in college will appreciate not being lumped in with his parents.
    OurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • As everyone else said, send her and her SO an invite at her parents address and send her parents a separate invite.

    Anecdote I was moving right around when my cousin was sending her wedding invitations (almost 4 months before her wedding, by the way) and when I told her she might have to send my and my husband's invitation to my parents address she said "ok, I'll just add you to theirs". Um, no, until a few weeks ago they weren't going but I was going, plus I'm old and married, please send me my own invitation. Thankfully I signed a lease the day she was sending them to the calligrapher, so I got my own invitation to my own apartment.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Thank you for the advice everyone! 
    SP29cowgirl8238
  • LtPowersLtPowers Upstate New York member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Miss Manners would say that you need to find out the partners' addresses and invite them separately at their own addresses, rather than just tacking them on as an accessory on their partners' invitations.
  • We have a similar situation with his cousin in Maryland, we sent two invites to her parents house - one for her, and one for her parents. At least that way it was somewhere it would definitely get to her. I wouldn't put her on her parents invitations, but using the same address was helpful.
                 
    OurWildKingdom
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