Moms and Maids

None

edited August 2016 in Moms and Maids
Thank you all for your help.

Re: None

  • Yes, you are being ridiculous. Her circumstances have changed and you are pissed off that she is prioritising her own wedding over "matching accessories for the party"? Should she put her life on hold while you plan for over a year? Enquiring minds want to know.
                 
    DrillSergeantCatGreenjinjo OurWildKingdomhuskypuppy14
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2016
    It is your responsibility to plan your own wedding. Regardless of what is going on in your MOH's life, you should not be relying on her (or your other bridesmaids) to help you, nor should you assume they will plan parties for you. It's nice if they offer, but some are just not willing or able, and even if they are, circumstances can change to make them less available. 

    And yes, you are being ridiculous. It's not reasonable to expect people's lives to be on hold just because you are getting married. Of course she is going to prioritize her wedding over yours; frankly, it would be a little weird if she didn't. You chose to have an expensive destination wedding that people would need a lot of notice for, and you can't just assume that people's lives won't change over the course of a year. I suggest you keep your mouth shut and not discuss this with your MOH. Focus on the fact that she still cares enough about you to come to the wedding even when she's got a lot going on herself, and forget about the rest.
    image
    SP29auriannaDrillSergeantCatOurWildKingdom
  • Yup, you're being ridiculous. Her finances and responsibilities have changed and she doesn't need to put that on hold because you're getting married. If she had gotten engaged first and you agreed to do things for her, would you put your own wedding on hold because someone else was also getting married?
    SP29OliveOilsMomOurWildKingdom
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes, you need to change your mindset.

    The things she initially agreed to do for you, while you might be a bit bummed about (i.e. not having a bachelorette anymore), are not the important things. Be happy that she is still able to attend your destination wedding while planning her own wedding and having a small child.

    It sounds like you're upset and feel she is selfish for getting engaged, planning and having her wedding before yours. You each get one day. There is nothing wrong with a short engagement, she could choose to get married tomorrow, and that would be OK. Obviously she has a lot of planning and budgeting to do if she is getting married soon.

    You say you are most bothered that she initially agreed to do some things, and has now had to change her mind- yes, her priorities have changed. A lot can change in a year and you can't expect anyone to put their lives on hold for a year to "wait" for your wedding. Paying for her own wedding definitely takes precedence over matching accessories and staying in the same hotel as everyone else. No one needs matching accessories, hotels do not need to be booked so early, and everyone can still have fun while staying at different hotels.

    Deep breath, glass of wine, and let it go!
    auriannaOurWildKingdom
  • You're upset because she is spending more time/money on her wedding than yours. You're upset because she's planning her wedding reception instead of your bachelorette party. You say you've offered to help her in hopes she "comes around" (i.e. started dedicating more time/money to your wedding). Do you realize how absolutely ridiculous that all sounds?

    This is MAJOR bridezilla territory. I suggest getting ahold of yourself and adjusting your expectations for your "wedding year". lol

    *********************************************************************************

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    DrillSergeantCatOurWildKingdomsparklepants41huskypuppy14
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    OP - If you come back.  The most important thing going on in your life right now is your wedding.  No one will ever be as excited as you and your FI are for this wedding.  Your MOH is now getting married herself.  That and her child are probably the most important things going on her life, so her priorities have changed.

    Give her a break.  She never should have been looking for matching accessories for the BMs anyway.  Let them accessorize their own outfits, they will be much happier to wear what they want, then something someone else picked out for them.  I also hope these "matching accessories" were not to be the BM gifts, cause that is a really crappy gift, especially if they are traveling and putting out big bucks to attend your DW.

    SP29InLoveInQueensOurWildKingdom
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Thank you all for your help.
    Well this definitely answers my question.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    charlotte989875
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    The audacity of some people! I mean really!!! How dare she put her own wedding ahead of yours! She should have had the decency to wait until yours was done before she even considered her own. And now you won't have matching accessories so your pictures are going to be ruined. RUINED I tell you! Everyone is going to notice and be talking about it for years. You'll walk into a room and suddenly it goes quiet and people start whispering about the fact that your BP wasn't wearing matching accessories. 

    Sherbie25OurWildKingdomthisismynickname2
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2016


    I hope you got some perspective, OP

    Edited because @TrixieJess took the words right out of my mouth


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomMesmrEwe
  • Sherbie25 said:
    She's selfish for prioritising her own wedding over yours? Erm, nope you're wrong and you need to stand there in your wrongness.

    Been having a marathon since being on school holidays! Nearly finished season 5 x
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





  • Sherbie25 said:
    She's selfish for prioritising her own wedding over yours? Erm, nope you're wrong and you need to stand there in your wrongness.

    I love you so much for that.

  • Sherbie25 said:
    Sherbie25 said:
    She's selfish for prioritising her own wedding over yours? Erm, nope you're wrong and you need to stand there in your wrongness.

    Been having a marathon since being on school holidays! Nearly finished season 5 x
    I'm halfway through season 3 with my husband! This is my 4th or 5th rewatch and his first, it's my favorite show of all time :)
    Sherbie25
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers

    OP - If you come back.  The most important thing going on in your life right now is your wedding.  No one will ever be as excited as you and your FI are for this wedding.  Your MOH is now getting married herself.  That and her child are probably the most important things going on her life, so her priorities have changed.


    SITB

    So much this. I wanted to say something really snarky in response to OP, but I'm just going to quote this instead.

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer


    I hope there are more opportunities to use this gif. I love it. 
    ________________________________


  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I hope there are more opportunities to use this gif. I love it. 
    I love Drag Race and am so sad that I missed this (probably last too) season. Bianca Del Rio has been my favorite ever.
  • I hope there are more opportunities to use this gif. I love it. 
    I love Drag Race and am so sad that I missed this (probably last too) season. Bianca Del Rio has been my favorite ever.
    You're in luck!

    http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/rupaul-drag-race-renewed-season-9-logo-1201817712/

    (The Emmy nods helped a lot, lol!)


    DrillSergeantCatSP29
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I hope there are more opportunities to use this gif. I love it. 
    I love Drag Race and am so sad that I missed this (probably last too) season. Bianca Del Rio has been my favorite ever.
    You're in luck!

    http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/rupaul-drag-race-renewed-season-9-logo-1201817712/

    (The Emmy nods helped a lot, lol!)
    Sweet! Once I'm done with school, I'll check to see if Drag Race is OnDemand. 
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I hope there are more opportunities to use this gif. I love it. 
    I love Drag Race and am so sad that I missed this (probably last too) season. Bianca Del Rio has been my favorite ever.
    You're in luck!

    http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/rupaul-drag-race-renewed-season-9-logo-1201817712/

    (The Emmy nods helped a lot, lol!)
    THERE ARE 9 SEASONS! How did I not know this?!?!?

    I watched the first season and loved it. Seriously the best reality TV show ever.
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