Dear Prudence,
My girlfriend and I are in the process of ending our relationship. We’ve done therapy, tried everything, but it’s over. We still love each other and intend to stay in touch even after we move apart. If we move apart. Right now, we’re still sharing a flat (although it’s a big place, so fairly easy to carve out personal space) for practical and financial reasons, and maybe emotional too—we’re not quite ready to part. We’d initially agreed to talk about ways to separate—her staying in the flat, me moving out, both of us leaving, etc.—and I thought things were going well. I mentioned moving out by spring at the latest. But now, she’s talking about living together indefinitely—she mentioned five to 10 more years! I know she’s scared of living on her own (she’s already dating someone new, which is actually a relief for me), but I know I can’t go on like this forever. I’ll miss her, but I have to move on, and there’s only one way of doing that. She insists that this needs to be a joint decision, i.e. I can only move out when SHE is ready. I think that’s unreasonable. What do you think?