Unplugged??

Knottie95813905 · August 2016

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

thisismynickname2 · August 2016

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

Hi. There are lots of threads on Unplugged weddings if you use the Search Boards on the right side of your screen.

The answer is NO don't have an unplugged event.

Set your social media so that you have to approve all tags.

kylexo · August 2016

I got married a month ago today and have gotten all of the photos from my photographer. There are over 500 photos she sent me. You can see people on their phones (and it's not like they're browsing Facebook, they are taking photos of things) in 4 - FOUR of the over 500 photos. This is not an issue.

climbingsingle · August 2016

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

I suggest you you give a speech right before your ceremony. Say exactly what you posted here. "I invited you all to this event today to give me your undivided attention. So I better not see you on your phones on Facebook OR ELSE!"

SaintPaulGal · August 2016

You can't "remind" adults that they agreed to come to your wedding to focus on YOU AND ONLY YOU ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME, DAMMIT! If they want to check facebook or play candy crush or snap a thousand photos for instagram, they are free to do so.

ShesSoCold · August 2016

So, I've been to several weddings this year. I'm not a big sap and I don't get all caught up in the ceremonies so looking around, very few people are just playing games or answering emails on their phones. Sure people could and do, but not very many. And who the fuck cares? Do you really see yourself blowing up and framing a photo of people sitting in rows during the ceremony? Even if you do, a handful of people might be on their phones, or if you "remind them why they accepted the invitation", a great deal more will have this look on their faces

Which would you prefer?

charlotte989875 · August 2016

There isn't a way to do this without sounding rude and controlling, because well it is rude and controlling. If people are going to be on their phones during the ceremony, then they are going to do that regardless of what you announce before hand, and the only thing that will happen is that you look ridiculous.

floridabride44 · August 2016

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

Bet you at least half accept the invitation simply because they like free cake.

DrillSergeantCat · August 2016

scribe95 said:

People can multi-task. I love, love taking photos. I do it at all weddings and have some great shots. So I guess you would disapprove of this.

Just put a basket at the back of the room and demand people put their cell phones in it. Mark it "Pay attention to me and only me."

Turn it into a key party of sorts.

lyndausvi · August 2016

I never use my phone during a ceremony. I still do not give my undivided attention. I'm one who looks at the architecture, the landscape if it's outside, the guest in the "do you not have a mirror" look (almost every wedding as one), etc.

Some of my guests did take pictures during the ceremony. You know what? They got some pretty good ones because they were at a different angle than the photographer. Some of them got funny shots of other guests (which the photographer would never have gotten because they were focused on us).

One of my favorite shots from the photographer DURING the ceremony of one of DH's best friends is holding up... get this... A BEER. It's a funny shot. Actually framed that one. Ha.

Look, I think you are over thinking this. My photographers took some 1600 shots. Of that, I had to pick out 30 for an album and a few to be framed. The rest are prints sitting in a box. I sometimes go through them just for a laugh. Very few people were on their phones. If it does ruin a shot, so what? There are other photos to choose from. You can crop and/or edit a picture.

Way overthinking in my opinion.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

DrillSergeantCat said:

scribe95 said:

People can multi-task. I love, love taking photos. I do it at all weddings and have some great shots. So I guess you would disapprove of this.

Just put a basket at the back of the room and demand people put their cell phones in it. Mark it "Pay attention to me and only me."

Turn it into a key party of sorts.

You could have one basket for single people as a way for them to mingle

OurWildKingdom · August 2016

scribe95 said:

People can multi-task. I love, love taking photos. I do it at all weddings and have some great shots. So I guess you would disapprove of this.

Just put a basket at the back of the room and demand people put their cell phones in it. Mark it "Pay attention to me and only me."

Middle school teachers do that. OP, do you want to treat your guests like middle-schoolers?

banana468 · August 2016

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

If you are trying to figure out how to be bossy and controlling without sounding it I think you solved your problem. Don't parent your guests.

levioosa · August 2016

No.

Heffalump · August 2016

floridabride44 said:

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

Bet you at least half accept the invitation simply because they like free cake.

The other half are in it for the open bar so they can get drunk at the bride and groom's expense.

This is what I have learned from TK.

drunkenwitch · August 2016

Every time I hear "the attention should be on the HC, not anything else". I picture that literally, with all the guests staring, unflinching, unblinking and silent at the HC for the entire ceremony and reception. Just staring, at nothing but the HC.

Image: http://i.giphy.com/FHRAo1sOp0Xy8.gif

Hey, at least you would have everyone's undivided attention, right?

[Deleted User] · August 2016

You could have the pastor or officiant remind people to put their phones on silent. Some people that this is rude but it is definitely more acceptable than asking people to not use their phones. Based on my experience, when reminded to silence their phones, many people will also automatically put them away as well. The two actions often go hand in hand.

But really, I don't know why people have an issue with guests taking photos of the ceremony. Don't you want to see as many photos afterwards as possible? Is it just me that'll want those photos worse than Cookie Monster wants a cookie?

cowgirl8238 · August 2016

Yeah, if you need to find a way to say something that sounds rude...its rude! Some of the best shots from our ceremony were from the guests (some with regular cameras and some with cell phones! GASP!) They got some really nice shots of my H while I walking down the aisle.

As far as "controlling" the social media...you can set Facebook to have you review anything you are tagged in before it is posted, but this obviously will only do so much. I have no idea about the other social media pages though. Really I say just embrace it...your attitude in your post is serious eye-roll territory and I really hope you don't treat others like children.

kimmiinthemitten · August 2016

Sooo, what you're saying is you know all of the reasons you shouldn't do it, but you want to figure out a way to do it anyways so how do you do this rude thing while not being rude?

Image: http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lymcvd5K1w1r4gei2o6_400.gif

PrettyGirlLost · August 2016

Knottie95813905 said:

Ok, so I have heard a ton of different versions on the whole "it's rude to tell your guests what to do" thing, and I get it. However, in this day and age, people are more and more attached to their technology. Ultimately, I believe it is people's choice to be on their phones or not. And I know that this day may be a special one for me, but ultimately not that important to many others in attendance. All of this being said, I want to find a way to remind guests that there is a reason they accepted an invitation to this event. Plus, and this is totally selfish, I don't want people constantly on their cell phones in my wedding photos! Nor do I want pictures of my wedding on social media until I start to post things myself. There has to be a way to help people remember this without being too bossy or sounding controlling.

NO!

NO!

NO!

monkeysip · August 2016

drunkenwitch said:

Every time I hear "the attention should be on the HC, not anything else". I picture that literally, with all the guests staring, unflinching, unblinking and silent at the HC for the entire ceremony and reception. Just staring, at nothing but the HC.

Hey, at least you would have everyone's undivided attention, right?

I legitimately laughed out loud at this.

wmam35 · August 2016

If your focus when you look at your wedding photos is of some person in the background on their cell phone, then you're focusing on the wrong things. This is literally not a problem.

And also people have lives. People have children, sick relatives, jobs, etc. where they actually need to have their phone available. They are not on their phone to spite you. And if you are looking around at your wedding ceremony and your focus is on your guest who is on their phone, you are focusing on the wrong things.

When you are up there, you literally will not care. All the little things you worried about - bridesmaid shoe colors, flower girls crying, the lanterns decorating the aisles that you spent 700 hours making - will not matter. You will be standing next to your partner and declaring your life long intent to love them and be faithful to them. If you are focusing on anything other than that, you are focusing on the wrong things.

ei34 · August 2016

This is a non-issue. When you're looking into your FI's eyes, saying your vows, what your guests are doing will be the last thing on your mind. At least, I hope.
Ask to see samples of your photographer's work where guests are in the background. Like first dance shots. I'm sure he or she has a way to blur out things like a sea of cellphones.
Short of an officiant asking guests to silence their phones, it's super rude to dictate when and how adults use their phones.

ernursej · August 2016

I agree with everything PPs have said. I will add that if you are concerned about getting to post something first, get your photographer to take a picture on your cellphone and post that to social media before you walk down the aisle. Then, doesn't matter who posts what, you will get there first.

Sherbie25 · August 2016

drunkenwitch said:

Every time I hear "the attention should be on the HC, not anything else". I picture that literally, with all the guests staring, unflinching, unblinking and silent at the HC for the entire ceremony and reception. Just staring, at nothing but the HC.

Hey, at least you would have everyone's undivided attention, right?

I can't love this post enough!

Unplugged??

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