Dear Prudence,
I work at a company that often pairs employees from different departments together in a one-on-one capacity. These partnerships often involve spending a great deal of time together. I manage many of these partners. One of these newest team members, “Sue,” is an attractive, young, married woman. Her work partner, “Sam,” is also young and attractive—but single. Recently Sue’s husband has been out of town and she and Sam have been spending a lot of time outside of work together. Normally that’s not a big deal; however, Sam recently mentioned that Sue had spent the night at his house. He was emphatic that it was on the couch but as there was no drinking involved and Sue only lives 10 minutes from him, I found this odd.
Our employee handbook is very clear about romantic relationships being forbidden among staff and since we’re a faith-based company (although I’m hardly zealous), I know how this could be perceived very badly. Normally I would never know about something like this but Sam has become a friend and shared the information. My first thought is that I felt like I needed to have a gentle conversation of caution with Sue as my employee. If she were single I would feel less anxious, but still worried that if a relationship were to start and end there would be serious awkwardness for their partnership (they are in a remote territory and can’t be reassigned). I’m trying to ignore the red flags in her marriage, because I know that is not my business, but is the seemingly budding relationship also something I have to stay out of? As her supervisor, do I let adults be adults, or do I discuss this with her?
—Happy Work Wife, Happy Life?