Dear Prudence,
My fiancé and I love each other deeply. We recently went through a rough patch and in a moment of distress he confided in his ex, with whom he co-parents a teenager. The ex has always disliked me and pressed my fiancé to tell their child about our problems, presumably hoping it would break us up. The two of us went to therapy, are closer than ever, and still plan to get married this fall. The problem is that after his child found out about this rocky period, the teen launched an attack on me, ranging from trying to get him to kick me out to saying I’m a horrible person and refusing to come over. My fiancé has tried to explain that couples have problems and sometimes successfully work them out. We are in family therapy now, but it’s slow going. For emotional and financial reasons it’s important to us to marry this year. However, I am terribly concerned about having his child present because of how stressful it will be. They also have a history of mysterious “illnesses” during important events. How can we explain that we love them very much but can’t handle the dissent on our special day?
—Stepchild at the Wedding