Wedding Party

MOH Speech Tips & Help

Hi, so my friend of 2 years is getting married in October and asked me to be MOH & give a  speech at the wedding.  I am very honored but I am at a loss for the speech because we just recently became close (like 6-9 months ago).  I have been writing rough drafts and researching examples for over a month and all I can find is examples for a sister or a childhood best friend.  I don't want the speech to be insensitive or impersonal.  Any tips or ideas? TIA!

Re: MOH Speech Tips & Help

  • There's not a whole lot you can say in thirty seconds or so (it's a toast not a speech), so focus on what it is you wish for them in their future life together and work from there.
  • Everyone else gave great about what to do, but what not to do: please don't go in to a long, detailed, recounting of how long you've known the bride, how she's your very best friend in the entire world, and tell multiple stories from when you first met/became friends/ inside jokes that no one else understands/things 95% of the room wasn't a part of. The worst speeches I've heard are those that read like a history of their friendship. IMO this is better put in a card or private moment between you two, not for the entire reception.

    I really like @Ironring's suggestion about a quick anecdote of how/when you knew their relationship was special. 


    YES.  I've posted about this previously, but at my brother's (first) wedding, the MOH/bride's sister basically did a retelling of their entire relationship.  Which, being sisters, went back 20-some years.  Then she started crying and mostly talking about herself.  It went from boring, to uncomfortable. 

    Short and sweet is perfect. 

  • 4 people gave toasts at our reception. None was longer than a few sentences. All were along the lines of "I'm so happy to see DSC and Mr. DSC so happy." Don't put too much pressure on yourself, don't make it too long, do convey how happy you are for the happy couple. 

    When I gave my MOH speech it was several sentences (5 maybe?) about how much I'd seen my friend change since she met her husband and how I was appreciative of him for putting the smile on her face. The BM, however, spoke about the groom's late wife. Everyone was looking at each other in horror.

    When my SIL got married (2nd marriage), her best friend's mom (whom she had known since childhood) offered to do a toast. Unfortunately, Bestie's Mom used that time to talk about how SIL was finally making good life choices, after a string of "bad ones" that included dropping out of college to have a baby at 19, marrying her first husband, etc.

    SO. INAPPROPRIATE.  Especially since her daughter--the baby she had at 19, with the so-called "loser" ex-husband--was there.  The look on Niece's face was heartbreaking, and I thought of it when I read "everyone was looking at each other in horror" in your post.  Ditto. I seriously thought DH was going to give her the hook, vaudeville-style.

    Image result 

    If you can't say something nice...

  • Heffalump said:

    When my SIL got married (2nd marriage), her best friend's mom (whom she had known since childhood) offered to do a toast. Unfortunately, Bestie's Mom used that time to talk about how SIL was finally making good life choices, after a string of "bad ones" that included dropping out of college to have a baby at 19, marrying her first husband, etc.

    SO. INAPPROPRIATE.  Especially since her daughter--the baby she had at 19, with the so-called "loser" ex-husband--was there.  The look on Niece's face was heartbreaking, and I thought of it when I read "everyone was looking at each other in horror" in your post.  Ditto. I seriously thought DH was going to give her the hook, vaudeville-style.

    Image result 

    If you can't say something nice...

    For real!!! My friend and her husband had a very quick courtship and engagement. His late wife passed away in April, they started dating in May, and got married in September. The BM's toast was basically about how fast it all was and how wonderful late wife was. It was just awkward, but not mean fortunately.
  • ernursej said:

    Short and sweet for sure.

    "My name is ____ and I am delighted to toast the bride and groom. I'm so happy that you have come together as husband and wife. I wish you many years of love and friendship (can include some other words or another sentence). Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in raising your glass (pause) to ___ and ___.

    As the saying goes "Brevity is the marker of a good speech!"  Everyone trying to eat in the middle of your toast will thank you for it!  I can't love the above enough as-is without adding anything!  But more than that - it's about your delivery - practice becoming comfortable with talking into a microphone and giving eye contact with the guests, B&G during your delivery!!!  As a comedian I met years ago when I was first out on the performance stage taught me (he was one of the best comedians in the region) - it'll sound "off" but it makes sense...  "Hold the mic like you know what you're doing with it, not a d*** that you're afraid of touching!"  the only part taking your voice is about a quarter-size spot out the top.  If that part is not pointing toward your mouth the audience can't hear you (usually it's between 2-4" from your mouth that it's "set" to receive).  Do not ask "can you hear me" - be confident in how you hold the mic that it's going to pick up.  It's not what is said nearly as much as how!  (think Agnes from Despicable Me 2 giving the "Mother's Day Speech").. 
  • It's a TOAST not a SPEECH!  Most people these days seem to misunderstand that these are supposed to be toasts, not speeches at a state dinner.

    So therefore keep it to a minimum, like under 2 minutes.




    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I an huge proponent of short and sweet. Thank the guests for coming, thank the hosts, say how happy the couple looks together, say how wonderful they are as a couple and wish them a lifetime of happiness.  Raise your glass.

  • I agree with short and sweet. Something like "In the time I have come to know Bride and Groom, I have been privileged to see their relationship come into being and witness their love that today resulted in marriage. Please join me in wishing them many years of happy married life together. To Bride and Groom!"
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