Aloha!

mrsconn23 · October 2016

Boarding passes are printed. Go pro is set up. IDK why I am attempting to work this morning. Nothing is getting done.

I'm so excited that I could throw up.

OH and our refi closing is at 1. And we have DefConn's parent/teacher conference at 4. DH is trying to get to Dick's for something in between and we need to go to the bank.

Where's that paper bag?

MNNEBride · October 2016

Sooo jealous! Have a wonderful time!

charlotte989875 · October 2016

Have a great trip!

Im in Detroit airport waiting to board my flight to New York, finally starting to get super excited. Fundraising gala tonight, reunion Saturday and so much food in between!

CharmedPam · October 2016

Have fun. I'm jealous. I always wanted to go!

edit: Ok, the wedding dreams are starting for me. I was at home, and the seamstress was doing a house call and bringing the dress to me (thanks for that, because I really am lazy). She pulled out the dress for me, which was the exact same dress I bought - but in black. And guys, I must say this dress ROCKED in black. Why didn't I go that route to begin with?!?

Heffalump · October 2016

Y'all are off to such exciting places! Have fun!

Fridge is not fixed. Needs a different board replaced. Let's hope he's right this time. I don't want to spend the weekend without a working fridge.

Still trying to figure out this hurricane. Charlotte Observer says it's going to hook out to sea after South Carolina, Weather.com says 80% chance of rain tomorrow and 100% chance Saturday. [shrug]

(ETA: the Observer is now calling for 2" of rain in my area, so it looks like we'll get the edges, but nothing more.)

DS's birthday is tomorrow!

6fsn · October 2016

Killing time in Starbucks before my cousin's calling hours. Nothing else really planned today except buying milk. Woohoo

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

@mrsconn23 point is you tried

Have fun!!

Washing machine doesn't work. Tried to do laundry and everything came out soaked and not clean. Saturday we're picking up Angel at my mum's and we're going to go a bit early to throw laundry in. Weekend after we're getting a new machine from my uncle.

Good news, ran dishwasher and no drips!!

Also this is hilarious

http://www.refinery29.com/being-a-bridesmaid#slide

VarunaTT · October 2016

I need to get motivated to write this social media policy. Blah. I've got some other things to put together too. I'm supremely unmotivated and kind of just want to crack a bottle of wine and watch Luke Cage. I've had breakfast and coffee, so it's okay to drink, right?

Yes, @6fsn, K is moving in with me. We started talking about it in August. I took a full month to think about it. She's spent every night here since March, but making it official took me some time. I finally realized that to me, her moving in = final step to we are looking at getting married, [follow this path down]. And I'm not ready for that and don't know when or if I ever will be. However, I am in love with her and I do want "our" space.

So, I'm enjoying being in love and sharing "our" space. I likened it to the advice always handed out to the newly engaged, "enjoy your engagement for awhile". I don't have to have a "this is where we're moving" plan...I can enjoy being just right here. K agrees and so we can both just stay here for awhile.

Heffalump · October 2016

So we had employee meetings scheduled for 10:00 and 10:20, which usually means they're announcing quarterly bonuses. And 3Q just ended, so I assumed that's what these were. Nope. They found pot in the building. I was hoping this would end up like something out of The Office, but all they did was hand out copies of the drug and alcohol policy and say that they're upping the random drug tests. Yawn.

Speaking of random, in random news, I am sort of obsessed with the British Maisy books. DS has all of Wooz's hammy down Maisy books, because for whatever reason both of my kids were/are obsessed with her. (Also, DS insists that Maisy is a boy, so when I forget and read "her" or "she," he always interrupts and says "No, no, Maisy is a boy.") So when I was looking for England-y things to prep the kids for next summer's trip, I found Maisy Goes to London on the Amazon UK site. Which led me down the rabbit hole to the British mirror images of our Maisy books: Maisy Goes to Hospital, Maisy Goes to Nursery, Maisy Goes on Holiday, Maisy Goes to the Cinema. I sort of want them all, for no particular reason.

bleve0821 · October 2016

Next weekend is my last at home before I move out--alone--to my new office, and sucky ILs are (apparently? Because this was not run by me.) crashing at our place the whole weekend. There's nothing I can do, and I know even if we HAD had a discussion, I'd have been the doormat and said, "Fine, they can stay."

I'm not exactly pissed off, because even if we knew they were coming in advance, it's not like I'd have been the witchbitch and said, "No, they can't stay because I fucking hate these people," but at the same time, I'm extremely frustrated that I feel like I am in a place where I can't say exactly that.

DH's family is one where drop-in visits happen all the time, and if there's space, it's just assumed you're welcome to stay over. But it is still my house, and I still would at least like to pretend to have a discussion about overnight guests, and OFFER them the invitation to stay, rather than have DH say, "I talked to ABC and OH BY THE WAY I told him it was fine." And have that be the end. It's just like, um, no, dude, that's shit I would prefer you run by me, first.

Honestly, the man means well, but I just wish he'd make these plans WITH me rather than saying "This is what we're doing, and that's ok, right?" And when I say, "Well, actually--" getting defensive because "it's FAMILY."

No, asshat, it's not the FAMILY part, it's the DISCUSSION. Whether or not you think I'll be okay with it doesn't preclude the fact that we should have a DISCUSSION before you say, "Sure, bring Sally Mae and Jimbo, too!"

Ugh.

Sorry for another rant. I'm hormonal and stressed and the two just are like a match to propane.

ETA @mrsconn23, I hope you have the most fun on your trip!

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

@AtomicBlonde Urg that would be so frustrating! Does all of his family have same thoughts? I wish I had something to suggest, but legit my only thing is to talk to him heavily - explaining it's not just his house and he needs to listen to you also!

kylexo · October 2016

Have a great trip! So jealous!

Painted my new front door and porch at the house after work yesterday. Both still need another coat, but it's coming together. The neighbors have been coming over more often to introduce themselves. They're excited to have nice people living there, the previous owner died of an overdose and the house sat around in foreclosure for 4 years before we bought it, so they're happy to be rid of the eyesore, even though it's taking us forever to get it fixed up.

We finally chose a kitchen company and our windows arrived yesterday. Hoping to have them all installed over the weekend. The drywaller is finishing the basement this week. This weekend our kitchen appliances and washer/dryer are being delivered. DH and I are going to Boston to visit his parents and see some of his friends we haven't seen since the wedding. We leave right after work tomorrow. With all that's been going on at the house I feel like it's going to feel like so much has gotten done by the time we get back Sunday night.

We're planning to move into the house in 3 weeks and there is still a lot to do, but the bulk of it is painting (and finishing staining the hardwood). Once the drywall guy is done I'll be getting crazy with all my painting. I still need to chose a color for our bedroom and the living room. It's overwhelming but so exciting. Oh, we still need to put up our fence too, but because our neighbors on every side have fences we just need to close a couple of gaps, so it should be easy. I'm so happy we'll have a nice yard for Henry very soon.

thefanciestbeckler · October 2016

So jealous of you both @mrsconn23 @charlotte989875! I hope y'all have a great time!

I stayed up WAY too late last night- cooking of all things. I had church stuff to do after work and had to get dog food after that, so didn't get home until about 9:30. I was starving, had an easy (and delicious) recipe for Bruschetta Chicken with garlic parmesan potatoes that I wanted to try. So instead of going to bed like a mature adult, I opted to stay up making that so I could eat it last night and DH and I would have leftovers for lunch today. It was worth it, but man I am tired today.

I'm supposed to go to a surprise party tonight for a friend's wife and another tomorrow night for my cousin. I may have to skip out on the one tonight in the name of self-care.

CharmedPam · October 2016

Heffalump said:

So we had employee meetings scheduled for 10:00 and 10:20, which usually means they're announcing quarterly bonuses. And 3Q just ended, so I assumed that's what these were. Nope. They found pot in the building. I was hoping this would end up like something out of The Office, but all they did was hand out copies of the drug and alcohol policy and say that they're upping the random drug tests. Yawn.

Refresh my memory...what happened in the office? i bet it was funny!

@thefanciestbeckler, man I need to cook more. I cook when FI is around, but because of his hours I'm alone a lot of the times. I usually just go and grab something quick. I may be divorcing the McDonald's chicken sandwich and only get Wendy's from now on. Has anyone tried them? They're actually quite good!

bleve0821 · October 2016

MissKittyDanger said:

@AtomicBlonde Urg that would be so frustrating! Does all of his family have same thoughts? I wish I had something to suggest, but legit my only thing is to talk to him heavily - explaining it's not just his house and he needs to listen to you also!

Yeah, it's a family thing. Communication is a big issue in his family, to begin with, and the ILs I like know they are always welcome. This situation is just a huge cluster from all angles, so I think it might be an exception to the norm.

I'd just prefer not having people I hate in my safe space, and because BIL married a thunderbitch, it's an occasional hazard I have to learn to live with. Lots of assumptions going on here on all fronts.

I'm sure it's simply a matter of DH thinking, "Well, it's family, and yours or mine, we don't need to have a discussion," but at the same time, it's a courtesy.

Like, last night he pulled the plusandalso OHBYTHEWAY and told me he told an old college friend who lives in Charleston that he could stay at our place if he needed to evacuate, and I was like.... Wait, what?

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@AtomicBlonde Urg that would be so frustrating! Does all of his family have same thoughts? I wish I had something to suggest, but legit my only thing is to talk to him heavily - explaining it's not just his house and he needs to listen to you also!

Yeah, it's a family thing. Communication is a big issue in his family, to begin with, and the ILs I like know they are always welcome. This situation is just a huge cluster from all angles, so I think it might be an exception to the norm.

I'd just prefer not having people I hate in my safe space, and because BIL married a thunderbitch, it's an occasional hazard I have to learn to live with. Lots of assumptions going on here on all fronts.

I'm sure it's simply a matter of DH thinking, "Well, it's family, and yours or mine, we don't need to have a discussion," but at the same time, it's a courtesy.

Like, last night he pulled the plusandalso OHBYTHEWAY and told me he told an old college friend who lives in Charleston that he could stay at our place if he needed to evacuate, and I was like.... Wait, what?

Friend of mine has issues with her ILs where they expected them there EVERY SUNDAY for dinner/visit! She nipped that in the bud because when they first moved in together, he was mon - fri and she was tues - sat so Sunday was their only day off together.

I wonder if you and your DH can compromise about it?

short+sassy · October 2016

@mrsconn23 and @charlotte989875, have a good time on your trips. Exciting!

kylexo said:

Have a great trip! So jealous!

Painted my new front door and porch at the house after work yesterday. Both still need another coat, but it's coming together. The neighbors have been coming over more often to introduce themselves. They're excited to have nice people living there, the previous owner died of an overdose and the house sat around in foreclosure for 4 years before we bought it, so they're happy to be rid of the eyesore, even though it's taking us forever to get it fixed up.

We finally chose a kitchen company and our windows arrived yesterday. Hoping to have them all installed over the weekend. The drywaller is finishing the basement this week. This weekend our kitchen appliances and washer/dryer are being delivered. DH and I are going to Boston to visit his parents and see some of his friends we haven't seen since the wedding. We leave right after work tomorrow. With all that's been going on at the house I feel like it's going to feel like so much has gotten done by the time we get back Sunday night.

We're planning to move into the house in 3 weeks and there is still a lot to do, but the bulk of it is painting (and finishing staining the hardwood). Once the drywall guy is done I'll be getting crazy with all my painting. I still need to chose a color for our bedroom and the living room. It's overwhelming but so exciting. Oh, we still need to put up our fence too, but because our neighbors on every side have fences we just need to close a couple of gaps, so it should be easy. I'm so happy we'll have a nice yard for Henry very soon.

I just came back from a trip to Boston, have fun! Hopefully there will be so much work done while you all are gone, you'll feel like you came back to a whole new house.

It's great to have nice neighbors!!! I have no doubt they are grateful you all bought the place. My personal home was a foreclosure and had been vacant for over a year before I bought it. Plus it was in a bit of disrepair. I think every neighbor on my block stopped by at some point or another, with relief and to thank me for buying it.

Another duplex I'd bought was the seriously dilapidated ugly duckling on the street. The owner's brother had been living for free on one side, but he was a thief and was just letting the house fall down around him. The other side had not had anyone living there for 10 years!!! My H did most of the work over there and both next door neighbors made comments on multiple occasions that they were so happy someone was finally taking care of the place.

I especially appreciated that because, this particular block is almost all homeowners. Sometimes homeowners can be hostile to landlords because they don't like have rented properties on their street. So it was awesome to have neighbors APPRECIATING us being there.

*Barbie* · October 2016

@AtomicBlonde - I know stuff is stressful with the move right now, but you and your H really need to sit down and talk about boundaries, because you're not in the same place at all. You shouldn't be subjected to houseguests (family or not) without having a say in the matter.
It's really rude of your in-laws to just show up unannounced/uninvited or with minimal notice and expect to be hosted overnight /for the whole weekend. I can't believe that your H is completely ok with this and that he's forcing it on you as well. Your H is coming off as a complete ass here. It's not just an inlaw problem - your H is enabling this, so he's a problem too.

"H, I don't mind if your family visits/stays over sometimes/ {insert frequency here} - but i'd like you to check with me at least {insert duration of time here} before inviting them. I also hope you'll do me the courtesy of taking my feelings into account and giving me veto power if i'm not up for the visit, and support the boundaries we agree upon by communicating with your family."

bleve0821 · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

"H, I don't mind if your family visits/stays over sometimes/ {insert frequency here} - but i'd like you to check with me at least {insert duration of time here} before inviting them. I also hope you'll do me the courtesy of taking my feelings into account and giving me veto power if i'm not up for the visit, and support the boundaries we agree upon by communicating with your family."

I am going to borrow this and have a chat with him tonight. You put this into non-confrontational words far better than I ever could have myself. Thank you!

kimmiinthemitten · October 2016

@AtomicBlonde, I'm totally with @*Barbie here. I'm sure the stress of the impending move is amplifying everything, but with how disrespectful your IL's are to you, your H needs to team up with his wife.

My siblings and I are very "at home" in each other spaces, whereas FI is used to his own space. So I say that as someone who gets where your H is coming from. FI was raised as an only child so we had to work through family visits when we first moved in together. In retrospect, the look on his face the first time my brother just helped himself in the fridge was priceless because it never occurred to me that that could bother him. There is a middle ground.

I'm feeling better about the parties this weekend. My cousin was like "it is what it is, it'll be fun regardless" and started talking about pudding shots and champagne gummy bears. I guess I'm easy to distract and please.

I had my second post op appointment yesterday and everything is going well. Plus this morning I washed my hands and as I was bending towards the sink, I noticed a little cleavage bubbling! I was so excited I snapchatted my sis a pic haha.

@mrsconn23 - so jealous! Hope you guys have an amazing time!

kvruns · October 2016

kimmiinthemitten said:

In retrospect, the look on his face the first time my brother just helped himself in the fridge was priceless because it never occurred to me that that could bother him. There is a middle ground.

Along these lines, it drives me crazy when my parents visit and don't help themselves to the fridge. I offer a drink and refill or whatever but I'm like dude if you want something you can get it you don't have to ask. i don't ask at their house so they don't need to ask at mine (it happened in the house I lived in alone too).

*Barbie* · October 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

I am going to borrow this and have a chat with him tonight. You put this into non-confrontational words far better than I ever could have myself. Thank you!

you're welcome. i hope it helps.

really, this should go both ways - it's not just applicable to his family/friends, but yours too.

especially given all of the stuff in flux with the job change and move, i'm sure you want nothing more than to relax and unwind when you have a few minutes.

if he's resistant to supporting his wife/putting your feelings first, then an alternate suggestion to him is that every time you get an unannounced visitor/overnight guest, you're going to find a nice spa, check in for the duration of their stay, and send the bill to him.

or maybe implement pantsless weekends. "hopefully your mom doesn't mind me chilling here in my underwear all night. "

he needs to take it up with his family - grow a pair and tell them, "no, we're not free for a visit that night" or "you're welcome to come over on saturday afternoon for the football game, but we can't have you guys stay over all weekend."

*Barbie* · October 2016

@mrsconn23 - have fun!!! i'm super jealousE. My parents just got home from Hawaii at 6am, and based on the few messages I've gotten, they really enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to pics/stories.

thefanciestbeckler · October 2016

CharmedPam said:

Heffalump said:

So we had employee meetings scheduled for 10:00 and 10:20, which usually means they're announcing quarterly bonuses. And 3Q just ended, so I assumed that's what these were. Nope. They found pot in the building. I was hoping this would end up like something out of The Office, but all they did was hand out copies of the drug and alcohol policy and say that they're upping the random drug tests. Yawn.

Refresh my memory...what happened in the office? i bet it was funny!

@thefanciestbeckler, man I need to cook more. I cook when FI is around, but because of his hours I'm alone a lot of the times. I usually just go and grab something quick. I may be divorcing the McDonald's chicken sandwich and only get Wendy's from now on. Has anyone tried them? They're actually quite good!

@CharmedPam they look really good! I haven't tried them yet though. I do agree that it is much harder to be motivated to cook when you're alone. DH can't leave on his lunch breaks, so he kinda relies on being able to take whatever we have leftover from dinner for lunch the next day. If it wasn't for that I could easily fall into picking food up on the way home!

DrillSergeantCat · October 2016

@kimmiinthemitten I can't wait for February 2018. That seems so far away! Anyway, that's when I'm going to get mine done. I'm currently wearing a 34K and I expect them to only get bigger. With Harrison I went from a 34F to a 34K during pregnancy and breastfeeding and now I'm only halfway through pregnancy and already back to a K. I temporarily got back down to an F. I just need these gone. They are so heavy!

@AtomicBlonde I used to do that to my exH all the time. I'd be like, "Oh btw friend is coming over and spending the night." I never even considered that it might bother him. Of course, I only did it twice and that was when tornadoes hit her town and she couldn't get home.

charlotte989875 · October 2016

Made it to New York. This is the view from my hotel room. Laying low for a bit (catching up on Prudie Day!) then out for the night.

ShesSoCold · October 2016

Now I'm wondering if it bothers H when my sister sleeps on our couch. It's pretty much assumed after we go to games (H and I live within walking distance of the train we take to games) but sometimes she stays if she goes downtown for work or other stuff I don't go to.

charlotte989875 · October 2016

The random stay over bothers my H. He's an introvert. He loves my family and friends and gets along with them, but the house is his space and he has to "gear up" for being with people. I wouldn't just have people stay over without giving him a heads up. Now if something came up and someone had to stay he'd be fine with it, but if someone was staying for a few days, he'd really prefer a few days to mentally prepare.

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

charlotte989875 said:

The random stay over bothers my H. He's an introvert. He loves my family and friends and gets along with them, but the house is his space and he has to "gear up" for being with people. I wouldn't just have people stay over without giving him a heads up. Now if something came up and someone had to stay he'd be fine with it, but if someone was staying for a few days, he'd really prefer a few days to mentally prepare.

So much this!

If anyone comes over to stay, we know ahead of time. If it's last minute, it's legit because of weather or they drank too much.

Otherwise, I'm not a fan of people staying for above reason.

kimmiinthemitten · October 2016

charlotte989875 said:

The random stay over bothers my H. He's an introvert. He loves my family and friends and gets along with them, but the house is his space and he has to "gear up" for being with people. I wouldn't just have people stay over without giving him a heads up. Now if something came up and someone had to stay he'd be fine with it, but if someone was staying for a few days, he'd really prefer a few days to mentally prepare.

This is FI too and why we have a basement. He's good with notice, but definitely needs that alone time. My sis, brother in law and niece are staying with us for the wedding as well. I'll be staying at the hotel the night before, and they will all be at the house. His only request was that he could have the basement to himself after the rehearsal dinner.

short+sassy · October 2016

For those of you who remember my daily post yesterday, I was "hopey, hopey, hope" I wasn't going to need TWO water inspections before the water company would bring me meters and have the water turned on in my new duplex.

Success!!!! Not only was there no issue, but they even sent someone out today to get our water going.

Aloha!

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