Y'all, I don't think I can date a Gen Y.

NOLABridesmaid · October 2016

I'm seven years older, and my new friend seems to only want to text. I have no desire to text these long conversations for two hours. Just call me. You clearly want to talk.

He says I seem like a want a lot of attention because I would rather talk on the phone than text. O-K. When did talking on the phone equal wanting a lot of attention? How else are you suppose to get to know someone.

I swear if I didn't have two good eggs left and a desire to procreate; I would become a nun.

The saga continues......

VarunaTT · October 2016

That was something I had to get used to. But realistically, I've had to get more used to communication via text professionally too, so I'm bending on it a bit.

However, I did get K trained to call if she wants an immediate response (I'm having to work on this with some other younger friends too). I'm not attaching myself to that damn phone. What to know what works well for immediate responses? A RINGING phone.

charlotte989875 · October 2016

So my H hates texting; if he wants to know something he calls. It took a while to get used to (were 31 and 32), but I was willing to do it. He also never looked at his phone while we were dating/starting to spend time together.

Id be more annoyed that he was willing to compromise on communication than the age difference.

Heffalump · October 2016

I don't know you all at all. I texting, and I'm not even Gen Y. DH and I have whole text conversations during the workday, and my family and I mostly text now, too. If my phone is ringing, it had better be some kind of emergency: school is on lockdown, DS just threw up, etc. Do not call me to see what I feel like for dinner tonight or what time our reservation is on Saturday.

This probably makes me the odd one out, and I'm okay with that.

SaintPaulGal · October 2016

I'm a filthy millennial, but I was a very late adopter of texting. My peers were at it for almost a decade before I got on board. I am all in now, though. Texting is just so convenient! You can fit in little bits of conversation throughout the day without missing a beat. I would never really take or place a personal call at work, but I can send or receive texts throughout the day without pulling me out of work mode.

thefanciestbeckler · October 2016

I texting too, Heffa. Unfortunately DH does not share that love. He answers my texts about half the time, and if I send him more than one text throughout the day he only reads the most recent one sent. So frustrating.

I have definitely figured out over time that the best/only way to get him to answer me is to pick up the phone and call him.

I think it's total BS that this guy said you seem to need a lot of attention just because you'd rather talk on the phone than text, Nola.

*Barbie* · October 2016

DK and I use google chat (IM) during the day. We don't text too often - calling is easier, and he never checks his messages. (He's even worse with e-mail.) You would think that a software guy would be better with technology.

charlotte989875 · October 2016

thefanciestbeckler said:

I texting too, Heffa. Unfortunately DH does not share that love. He answers my texts about half the time, and if I send him more than one text throughout the day he only reads the most recent one sent. So frustrating.
I have definitely figured out over time that the best/only way to get him to answer me is to pick up the phone and call him.
I think it's total BS that this guy said you seem to need a lot of attention just because you'd rather talk on the phone than text, Nola.

This is us, exactly. He hates it, I prefer it. We compromise.

But yah true needing attention thing is BS.

short+sassy · October 2016

I'm with you, @NOLABridesmaid!!! I think texts are great for quick, short pieces of information.

But I don't care how good or fast a texter is...and I'm neither of those...it takes substantially longer to have major conversations over text than over the phone. I have way better things to do with my time. Than have a 30-minute text conversation that would have taken 10 minutes on the phone.

I'm also good with e-mailing. That's way faster also.

I have a good friend who lives OOT from me. We've largely lost touch over the years because she will pretty much only communicate via text or Facebook. I'm rarely on FB. We'll have big long text conversations once in awhile, but that's not something I'm going to do very often. So, it is what it is.

6fsn · October 2016

We text during the day because it's easier for Dh. For long conversations I want a call though. I don't want to har via text that someone died and I don't want a message that requires 3 separate texts. That needs an email. I always prefer text and email with mil so I have proof that I told her something so she can't deny it to Dh later.

ShesSoCold · October 2016

short+sassy said:

I'm with you, @NOLABridesmaid!!! I think texts are great for quick, short pieces of information.
But I don't care how good or fast a texter is...and I'm neither of those...it takes substantially longer to have major conversations over text than over the phone. I have way better things to do with my time. Than have a 30-minute text conversation that would have taken 10 minutes on the phone.
I'm also good with e-mailing. That's way faster also.
I have a good friend who lives OOT from me. We've largely lost touch over the years because she will pretty much only communicate via text or Facebook. I'm rarely on FB. We'll have big long text conversations once in awhile, but that's not something I'm going to do very often. So, it is what it is.

Yeah I'm like this. "Leaving in 5 minutes" - totally acceptable text. Long ass conversation, nope. The old man in me still uses my phone as an actual phone.

I have this super old phone plan with 200 texts per month for $5. I very very rarely go over that.

VarunaTT · October 2016

When I had a phone with a keyboard, I didn't mind texting. Now that it's the on screen keyboard, I loathe it (even with Swype). If I didn't use voice-to-text, I'd almost never text.

CharmedPam · October 2016

I'm a texter too! In fact, my phone stopped calling out and accepting calls and I didn't even care about looking into it for days. LOL. All it needed was a re-set but I wasn't worried because good 'ole text still worked.

CMGragain · October 2016

OP, my son would love to meet you. He has had it with ladies who are texting on their dates. He enjoys conversation.

levioosa · October 2016

I love texting. I'm not a big talker on the phone, and as an introvert who sometimes sticks her foot in her mouth I like texting because I can think about what I'm saying and read it over before I send the text. I'll call my bff and my mom, but that's about it. And part of that is because bff is super dyslexic, and mom speak texts, which I can't even figure out half the time. I also like that you can have an on-going conversation, which is hard to have all at one time on the phone with my friends who have young children. They can shoot off some texts, but trying to talk when their toddler is throwing an hour long temper tantrum because he broke a banana is just not going to happen.

short+sassy · October 2016

6fsn said:

We text during the day because it's easier for Dh. For long conversations I want a call though. I don't want to har via text that someone died and I don't want a message that requires 3 separate texts. That needs an email. I always prefer text and email with mil so I have proof that I told her something so she can't deny it to Dh later.

Exactly! The text-happy friend I referred to above told me about her miscarriage over text. I know it's her way and I have no right to feel judgy, especially when she was in a dark moment. But then I felt impersonal, because that's my way, texting her back my condolences.

ei34 · October 2016

I much prefer texting, but even before texting I was never a phone person. Some of my friends could've had hour-long phone calls every day, but I hated talking on the phone. Preferring phone calls to texting being related to you needing attention makes no sense to me though.

monkeysip · October 2016

I love texting for people I DON'T want to talk to. But I enjoy talking to H, and we always had those hours-long convos while dating. I love being able to just relax on the couch/in bed and talk. Text dating is so weird to me. I feel like this generation is losing its listening abilities, and their eyes are going to be strained lol.

But to each their own.

bleve0821 · October 2016

DH and I pretty much converse exclusively via email during the day, due primarily to the nature of our jobs. We text, but because we have different wireless providers and he has a flip phone, any texts much longer than a tweet come in to him in pieces and out of order. And then I get frustrated because he doesn't understand. So we really only limit our texts to "Do we need milk" and "I lost my keys, taking the spare with me today."

I hate talking on the phone, but texting is a PITA, so I just suck it up when I want to talk to anyone. Forget it if I need to leave a voicemail though. Ima call you several times over the next couple of days til you answer or call me back. My VM messages are cringeworthy, at best. No one wants to hear that.

SP29 · October 2016

I like texts for quick conversation. No, you don't need to call me and interrupt me for something random, or something you don't need a response to right away.

But, if it's a conversation, TALK on the phone!

kimmiinthemitten · October 2016

Nope, I'm a Gen Xer who hates talking on the phone too! Oh and don't even get me started on voicemail - I can see you called.

The only time I like prefer talking on the phone is when I'm driving and even then it's limited to my sister, FI or BFF. A phone conversation is committed time and when I'm still deciding if I like you, I'm not ready to commit to a phone call either.

crowsgirl15 · October 2016

I like texting because it allows me to multitask. If I'm on a 2-hour phone conversation, I can't also be doing the dishes, or working on something for work the next day, or watching a TV show, or working on something crafty. If we're texting, I don't feel as obligated to just sit by the phone and give it my full attention between texts. Maybe that's why some people don't like it...but I'll save my voice conversations for when we're actually in person!

crowsgirl15 · October 2016

CMGragain said:

OP, my son would love to meet you. He has had it with ladies who are texting on their dates. He enjoys conversation.

Now this, on the other hand, is just plain rude...obviously you shouldn't text WHILE you're with someone...

kvruns · October 2016

I had a hard time with the whole texting as the entire communication thing too. Although in my case H is older than me and he is Gen X while I'm technically a millenial (though really I just think of myself as late Gen X) and he was a big texter and hates talking on the phone.

kvruns · October 2016

monkeysip said:

I love texting for people I DON'T want to talk to. But I enjoy talking to H, and we always had those hours-long convos while dating. I love being able to just relax on the couch/in bed and talk. Text dating is so weird to me. I feel like this generation is losing its listening abilities, and their eyes are going to be strained lol.

But to each their own.

STUCK

YES to the bolded. A good friend is a talker, as in you can't get her off the phone in less than an hour even if the purpose of the call was I'm leaving in 10 min. When she finally started texting it was the best thing ever. I was able to still communicate with my friend without having to commit an hour or more to each conversation.

6fsn · October 2016

crowsgirl15 said:

I like texting because it allows me to multitask. If I'm on a 2-hour phone conversation, I can't also be doing the dishes, or working on something for work the next day, or watching a TV show, or working on something crafty. If we're texting, I don't feel as obligated to just sit by the phone and give it my full attention between texts. Maybe that's why some people don't like it...but I'll save my voice conversations for when we're actually in person!

I'm the exact opposite. My sister and I spend Friday mornings doing dishes/laundry/dusting/errands while chatting. Tuck the phone under the ear and go. If I have to keep wiping hands and using them to text I'd never get anything done. We get a lot done on Friday mornings.

short+sassy · October 2016

monkeysip said:

I love texting for people I DON'T want to talk to. But I enjoy talking to H, and we always had those hours-long convos while dating. I love being able to just relax on the couch/in bed and talk. Text dating is so weird to me. I feel like this generation is losing its listening abilities, and their eyes are going to be strained lol.

But to each their own.

LMAO, now THIS is true. Even for a non-texter like me. I inherited a tenant when I bought an investment property. She is often unpleasant to deal with and it's great if my message is short enough to do it via text. Though I will still call her if it will be a longer conversation. And then I'm happy if I get her voice mail and can just leave my message, lol.

lc07 · October 2016

NOLABridesmaid said:

I'm seven years older, and my new friend seems to only want to text. I have no desire to text these long conversations for two hours. Just call me. You clearly want to talk.
He says I seem like a want a lot of attention because I would rather talk on the phone than text. O-K. When did talking on the phone equal wanting a lot of attention? How else are you suppose to get to know someone.
I swear if I didn't have two good eggs left and a desire to procreate; I would become a nun.
The saga continues......

When I'm texting with someone I can multi-task on other things. I can be surfing the web, emailing, running errands, etc because lag time between responses is fluid and acceptable. When I'm speaking with someone on the phone I am giving them my undivided attention for the entirety of our conversation because I can't multi task while speaking on the phone. Perhaps this is what he means.

mrsconn23 · October 2016

Heffalump said:

I don't know you all at all. I texting, and I'm not even Gen Y. DH and I have whole text conversations during the workday, and my family and I mostly text now, too. If my phone is ringing, it had better be some kind of emergency: school is on lockdown, DS just threw up, etc. Do not call me to see what I feel like for dinner tonight or what time our reservation is on Saturday.
This probably makes me the odd one out, and I'm okay with that.

Me and one of my best friends have an exclusive text or FB message relationship, outside of when we get together in person. The last time I called her on the phone was to tell her MIL died. No wait, she called me to tell me she might have MS (turned out that she broke her back).

Meanwhile, SIL/BFF and I almost only talk on the phone. We rarely text or FB message.

DH and I have a mix of both, but we typically only talk in person nowadays because we are sleeping while the other is working.

Y'all, I don't think I can date a Gen Y.

Re: Y'all, I don't think I can date a Gen Y.

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