Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Pittsburgh Churches

We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.  Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.

Re: Pittsburgh Churches

  • This is an international board; you'll be better off asking on the local Pittsburgh board. But, I will say $800 isn't all that bad for a Catholic church and it is part of the most important part of the day in the grand scheme of things.
  • It's likely a other parishes will also have a fee. The church we were married in required a $1000 "donation" and included the ceremony, pre-marital counseling sessions that were required, programs, and organist/pianist. It was worth it in my mind. 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.  Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.
    Are you a practicing Catholic?  Do you want to stay or become a practicing Catholic?  If you don't get married in the Catholic Church you will not be in good standing and will not be able to partake in the sacraments (e.g. communion), so you need to decide first and foremost if that's a priority for you. 



    CMGragainShesSoColdcowgirl8238
  • Viczaesar said:
    EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.  Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.
    Are you a practicing Catholic?  Do you want to stay or become a practicing Catholic?  If you don't get married in the Catholic Church you will not be in good standing and will not be able to partake in the sacraments (e.g. communion), so you need to decide first and foremost if that's a priority for you. 
    Consider also if you as a couple will want children. I am given to understand that part of the Catholic marriage ceremony requires you to promise you will raise any children in the church and your FW to promise she will not prevent you from doing so.
    image
  • EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.  Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.
    The bolded tends to make me think you care more about a pretty backdrop than the faith, so I strongly advise deep, serious conversations with FW before you go through with a Catholic ceremony.
    image
    geebee908CMGragainShesSoColdcowgirl8238
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited October 2016
    You both need to talk to your priest about your options before you decide anything.  Getting married outside of the Catholic Church is not an easy thing to fix for a Catholic.  You should know what the consequences are if you decide to marry elsewhere.
    Also, you will both need to attend pre-cana classes.  This can be a very valuable experience for a couple who is considering getting married.
    It is obvious, to me, that you have not really thought about your future life together as far as religion is concerned.  You need to both be on the same page, especially if you are planning to have children together.
    Incidentally, most Catholic churches are very restrictive about the hours in which they will allow a marriage ceremony.  You can't just waltz in and say "We want to get married at 6:00 PM on Saturday. "  They don't do things that way.  It is a SACRAMENT, not a "church experience"!
    You planned your reception before you planned your ceremony?  What the hell?  I see big problems ahead.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.

    Well which is it?  You both are "leaning towards it" or are "definitely" doing this?

    Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.

    I am not a practicing catholic but I find this statement to be off-putting.  It makes you sound like you are looking to get married in the church because you find them pretty or something...I am not saying that you feel this way, but that is how it came across to me in your post.

    From what I understand of church weddings from everyone I know who has had them, $800 isn't bad at all.  You have to pay for the time that the staff is there, no just the person marrying you, but the organist, and the maintenance people that have to unlock the building and clean up, and/or a coordinator to be there to receive the flowers and help arrange the programs etc... Of course this all depends on your church.

    Also, if your FW is non-denominational, can you even be married in the Catholic church...I believe (some of the parishes at least), will require her to be a part of the faith community and I believe there is a requirement to make communion first.  I know this can be done as an adult, but is this something she is willing to do?  I could be mistaken here, so please correct me if I am off base with this thought!

    Finally, if you are from the Catholic Faith and your FW is not, I recommend you both sit down and discuss all of your thoughts and beliefs on religion and any future children if you plan to have any.  I'm not saying you haven't, but this is the kind of thing that can strain and end a relationship.

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.

    Well which is it?  You both are "leaning towards it" or are "definitely" doing this?

    Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.

    I am not a practicing catholic but I find this statement to be off-putting.  It makes you sound like you are looking to get married in the church because you find them pretty or something...I am not saying that you feel this way, but that is how it came across to me in your post.

    From what I understand of church weddings from everyone I know who has had them, $800 isn't bad at all.  You have to pay for the time that the staff is there, no just the person marrying you, but the organist, and the maintenance people that have to unlock the building and clean up, and/or a coordinator to be there to receive the flowers and help arrange the programs etc... Of course this all depends on your church.

    Also, if your FW is non-denominational, can you even be married in the Catholic church...I believe (some of the parishes at least), will require her to be a part of the faith community and I believe there is a requirement to make communion first.  I know this can be done as an adult, but is this something she is willing to do?  I could be mistaken here, so please correct me if I am off base with this thought!

    Finally, if you are from the Catholic Faith and your FW is not, I recommend you both sit down and discuss all of your thoughts and beliefs on religion and any future children if you plan to have any.  I'm not saying you haven't, but this is the kind of thing that can strain and end a relationship.

    Only member of the couple has to be of the Catholic Faith in order to be married in the church. The non-Catholic person can't take communion but the marriage will be recognized by the church. They would also have to go through the pre-marital classes according to what their church requires.
  • EP_1017 said:
    We're planning on getting married in October, 2017.  I'm Catholic and my FW is non-denominational.  She's perfectly willing to get married in a Catholic Church if I want to, which I was kind of leaning towards, but I'm not sure if it will work or not.  

    My home parish, which I've been a member of in the past (I'm not a 100% active member) is a bit far from our planned reception location, North Park Lodge; plus by the time we're done, the cost is going to be $800+ for all of the fees that the church requires.  We definitely want to get married in a church but don't know where for sure.

    Well which is it?  You both are "leaning towards it" or are "definitely" doing this?

    Does anyone have any suggestions for churches that aren't going to be too pricey but will still give us the church experience?  We only need it for the ceremony, some photos and the receiving line after.

    I am not a practicing catholic but I find this statement to be off-putting.  It makes you sound like you are looking to get married in the church because you find them pretty or something...I am not saying that you feel this way, but that is how it came across to me in your post.

    From what I understand of church weddings from everyone I know who has had them, $800 isn't bad at all.  You have to pay for the time that the staff is there, no just the person marrying you, but the organist, and the maintenance people that have to unlock the building and clean up, and/or a coordinator to be there to receive the flowers and help arrange the programs etc... Of course this all depends on your church.

    Also, if your FW is non-denominational, can you even be married in the Catholic church...I believe (some of the parishes at least), will require her to be a part of the faith community and I believe there is a requirement to make communion first.  I know this can be done as an adult, but is this something she is willing to do?  I could be mistaken here, so please correct me if I am off base with this thought!

    Finally, if you are from the Catholic Faith and your FW is not, I recommend you both sit down and discuss all of your thoughts and beliefs on religion and any future children if you plan to have any.  I'm not saying you haven't, but this is the kind of thing that can strain and end a relationship.

    Only member of the couple has to be of the Catholic Faith in order to be married in the church. The non-Catholic person can't take communion but the marriage will be recognized by the church. They would also have to go through the pre-marital classes according to what their church requires.

    Thank you for the clarifications!  I do recall one couple having a hard time with  their parish because the FH was not a practicing member even though she was, but it seemed the vast majority of my friends had the experience you describe or they were both members already. 
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