Moms and Maids

I Thought I Was Over FMIL Drama

The day I joined The Knot I was dealing with the latest of my FMIL drama. Truthfully, it was a small thing. But, it was big to me that day, and by then I had lost count of all the things- big and small. Nothing has been easy with FMIL. I did however think I was over the drama shortly after the cake drama. FMIL and a BFF tried to victim shame me and then told FI that she'd rather he not marry me if I wasn't willing to do everything she wanted for the wedding. We all sat down, hashed everything out, apologies all around, and forgave what was said. 

A quiet three weeks here, and then we had a family dinner where the subject of our honeymoon was brought up. She asked. We told her where we plan on going and that it was going to be delayed because it is a seasonal destination. Now FMIL is sending us dates that work for her, as in, she thinks she is going on our honeymoon with us. I am just stunned. No words for it. I told FI to handle it, because I can't even at this point. 

Buying a dress for me without me even seeing it or knowing about it, was huge. I don't even know how to process this. I keep wondering if I'm being pranked or something. The constant barrage is overwhelming. 

Re: I Thought I Was Over FMIL Drama

  • I am paying for our wedding myself, FI is paying for the honeymoon. We told FMIL what we planned wedding and honeymoon wise after we made decisions together- plans she wasn't happy with. 

    Yes, there was a wedding outfit purchased and sent to me. No, I will not be wearing it. Yes, I have let her know. She keeps bringing it up like its somehow going to happen. 

    I don't plan on giving her any specifics regarding the honeymoon. :(
    MairePoppycowgirl8238
  • Hold the phone - PLEASE tell me your FI educated your MIL on the Birds & Bees of a Honeymoon??  

    Y'all need to set some healthy boundaries because this is the woman that is going to try to wedge her way into the hospital when it comes time for any future children if you choose to have kids.  You need to nip this in the bud because she's got "BSC FMIL" written all over her!!!
  • Omg! Your I can't believe your FMIL bought you a wedding dress......she cray!

    Why don't you send her a link to a swingers resort and tell her that is where the honeymoon is  ;)
    Just because it's a swinger's resort doesn't mean it's not for other couples too! LOL
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't understand why she's under the impression that she's invited on your honeymoon. It sounds like she didn't ask, and she just gave you dates she's available? What even?! 
    MesmrEwecowgirl8238
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I'm sorry but your FI told you he'd rather not marry you if he didn't give in to his mother's BSC demands???? Are you prepared to allow your FMIL to rule your life and marriage until she dies? Because that's what's going to happen. When you have children, she is going to step in and demand how you do things and your FI is going to expect you to go along with that.

    If I were you, I'd call the whole thing off until he can cut the umbilical cord.
    SwissMsMesmrEwe
  • I'm sorry but your FI told you he'd rather not marry you if he didn't give in to his mother's BSC demands???? Are you prepared to allow your FMIL to rule your life and marriage until she dies? Because that's what's going to happen. When you have children, she is going to step in and demand how you do things and your FI is going to expect you to go along with that.

    If I were you, I'd call the whole thing off until he can cut the umbilical cord.
    No FMIL told FI that she would rather that he not marry OP if she didn't give in to FMIL's demands. Not the FI. (At least that's my reading of the OP).
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I'm sorry but your FI told you he'd rather not marry you if he didn't give in to his mother's BSC demands???? Are you prepared to allow your FMIL to rule your life and marriage until she dies? Because that's what's going to happen. When you have children, she is going to step in and demand how you do things and your FI is going to expect you to go along with that.

    If I were you, I'd call the whole thing off until he can cut the umbilical cord.
    No FMIL told FI that she would rather that he not marry OP if she didn't give in to FMIL's demands. Not the FI. (At least that's my reading of the OP).
    Yep. You're right. I totally misread that. 

    Other than that, the question regarding being willing to have this woman dictate OP's life still stands.
    charlotte989875SP29cowgirl8238
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards