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Advice Needed!!

BishLBishL member
5 Love Its First Comment
in Chit Chat
Fellow brides,

I need some advice. My fiance really wants his father to be our wedding photographer. I've tried to explain why I am not so keen on that idea...from the most important of having his dad enjoy our wedding versus working the wedding, to not wanting lots of posed pictures and so much more. I feel like it's starting to have some ill will on my relationship with his family and I really don't want to start our marriage off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have advice on how to address these uncomfortable situations and if there are any good compromises? Right now, his dad is doing our engagement photos but I am not sure if that's going to be enough.
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Re: Advice Needed!!

  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Bishop.Lauren said:
    Fellow brides,

    I need some advice. My fiance really wants his father to be our wedding photographer. I've tried to explain why I am not so keen on that idea...from the most important of having his dad enjoy our wedding versus working the wedding, to not wanting lots of posed pictures and so much more. I feel like it's starting to have some ill will on my relationship with his family and I really don't want to start our marriage off on the wrong foot.

    Does anyone have advice on how to address these uncomfortable situations and if there are any good compromises? Right now, his dad is doing our engagement photos but I am not sure if that's going to be enough.
    Is FFIL a professional photographer?
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  • BishLBishL member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    KatWAG- He used to be. He owned his own photography business years ago but has since retired. I don't know how many weddings he done in the past. 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yep, agree with MissKitty. Also change your name so that it isn't your real name (assuming it is) for safety reasons.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MissKittyDanger said:
    Honestly, I think the best idea is to talk to FFIL. Mention what your FI wants, and how you feel about the idea. Maybe he'll want to? At least it gives him a choice.

    My SFIL is a photographer and I specifically told him that yes we love his photos and want to make sure he does get photos but we're getting a photographer as well so he doesn't have to focus on doing our photos. We got some really great shots from both of them - some were same photo at different angles.

    Even if your FFIL doesn't do the photos, make sure you ensure you love his photography and still hope he takes photos.


    I think this is especially great advice.  You all can tell him how much you love his photography and are really looking forward to his pictures.  But are going to be hiring a second photographer, so that he can socialize and enjoy the event also.

    Besides, you want him in some of the photos!  So there definitely needs to be a second photog.

    I know people want to be loving with family and donate their valuable services.  But I remember my small wedding.  35 guests, one photographer and her one assistant.  Those two photogs were busy, busy, busy the entire time.  They would barely have had time to socialize and greet guests, even if they'd been family/friends and had wanted to.

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If FFIL is taking the pictures, he won't be in many of them.  :(
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    My grandfather was the photographer for my mother's first wedding a long long time ago.  It was actually really special (my mother loves those photos), but it was also a really small and simple wedding.

    I agree with those above who said FFIL can take photos, but have a secondary photographer there, especially so that FFIL can be IN some of the photos and get a break from playing photographer.

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  • PamBeesly524PamBeesly524 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you do to decide to have FFIL take some photos, I would check with the photographer you actually hire to make sure they are ok with having another person taking photos. I went to a wedding once where a family friend was taking photos and I watched the friend get in the way of the paid photographer almost the entire night. Not saying your FFIL would do that, but if I were a photographer I would be wary of any event in which the host says "so-and-so will also be around to take photos.."
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