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NWR -- Are you out at work?

OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
edited April 2016 in Gay Weddings
I ask because this week, a coworker made a remark about LGBTQIA+ awareness and how she didn't want to hear about it. I'm out to my boss and to some selected coworkers, but now I feel like I have to go back into the closet and stay there. I'm a professional; it shouldn't be a big deal that I'm marrying another woman. I don't talk about my wedding at work unless someone asks, and even then, I change the subject after about 30 seconds. I don't want to feel like my FW can't stop by my job for lunch or to bring me coffee without either of us getting static from people. 

NWR -- Are you out at work? 11 votes

Yes, to everyone
36% 4 votes
Yes, to some people
36% 4 votes
No
27% 3 votes
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Re: NWR -- Are you out at work?

  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    For the most part, I don't see a reason to disclose anything about my private life at work. Most people assume I'm straight because I'm marrying someone who happens to have male genitals, and I have a picture of us up on my desk.

    That said, I don't censor myself. If I'm referring to an ex-girlfriend, I'll use her name, just like I would an ex-boyfriend (and I did this for current gfs when I was dating them). I don't play the pronoun game, and I'll correct someone if they call me straight (which has only happened once, because for the most part it's just not talked about where I work). 

    Your coworker sounds like a gem though. Did she make the remark to you, or just in general? Either way, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with her, but don't let it affect you or how much you talk about your FI. 
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  • crowsgirl15crowsgirl15 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    JediElizabeth said:
    For the most part, I don't see a reason to disclose anything about my private life at work. Most people assume I'm straight because I'm marrying someone who happens to have male genitals, and I have a picture of us up on my desk.

    That said, I don't censor myself. If I'm referring to an ex-girlfriend, I'll use her name, just like I would an ex-boyfriend (and I did this for current gfs when I was dating them). I don't play the pronoun game, and I'll correct someone if they call me straight (which has only happened once, because for the most part it's just not talked about where I work). 

    Your coworker sounds like a gem though. Did she make the remark to you, or just in general? Either way, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with her, but don't let it affect you or how much you talk about your FI. 
    This is how I approach it as well. I do sometimes say "my ex" if I don't feel 100% comfortable getting into it, and I'm sure most people assume I'm straight, but I don't really hide anything.

    That would make me horrendously uncomfortable. Though it would probably make me more pointed, not less, when I talked about the woman I love. But it's possible I'm a contrarian for sport.


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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    JediElizabeth said:


    Your coworker sounds like a gem though. Did she make the remark to you, or just in general? Either way, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with her, but don't let it affect you or how much you talk about your FI. 
    The remark was in reference to an agency-wide e-mail about initiatives to help families with LGBTQ+ members. So yeah, what a gem. 
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  • justsiejustsie member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I didn't respond to the poll because it wasn't for me, but H has 2 moms and as far as I am aware they are both openly out at work. I know one is a teacher and sees lots of their kids around town, the kids never seem surprised when they see her with a woman. 
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