Second Weddings

Question for those who have done a family DW...

Hello, everyone!  My name is Kristi, and I am new to this board.  I did an intro, but since then we have changed our date to ten days later- March 23, 2013.  I am very excited to get to know you all!  For those who haven't read my intro, I added a little one here, and then I have a question for those of you who have done a DW including kids.  BTW: I posted this on the Destination Weddings board as well, but I felt like it might do me well to ask you all also!

My FI, Ahmed, and I have been together for a little over two years, and he is wonderful!  This is my second marriage and his first. I have two little girls, 5 and 7 years old, and they just adore him.  My ex just got remarried last month and we all love his new wife- so things are pretty good for our daughters, which is the most important thing.  They definitely come first!  FI and I met at the university where I work and go to school (I teach and I'm getting my Masters in Education) and where he is getting his Bachelors.  After a long period of friendship, we started dating, and two years later...here we are!  We have a tentative date set for March 23, 2013, and we are planning on doing a destination wedding to the Riviera Maya.  Which brings me to my question!

While searching through this board and some others a while back, I saw that a lot of people really like Secrets Meroma Beach Resort.  I think it looks great too, and I definitely want an AI, but I do have an issue.  We are getting married on the Saturday at the end of Spring Break that year, as FI can't miss classes, so basically we've decided to do the honeymoon first and the wedding second, lol!  And we definitely want my girls to be there for the wedding, but we want some alone time too, so we are planning on heading down there on the Friday/Saturday before (the 16th maybe?), and my parents are going to bring the girls down maybe mid-week the next week.  I know that Secrets Maroma is adults-only, so obviously we can't have my girls there.  So I have a couple of options:

1)  Split the time between two different resorts- adults-only for the 16-20ish, and then a family AI for the rest of the time (where we would actually get married).  The pros of this would be getting that alone time for a honeymoon, plus getting to have a nice family vacation.  The cons would be that I've heard many resorts will give discounts for booking 7 nights, so it might not be worth it to split the time, and also the friends I'm inviting don't have kids and would probably enjoy staying at an adults-only place more.

2)Stay at a resort that is close to or side-by-side with a family resort.  The pros of this would be to be able to spend the whole time at an adults-only resort (something my friends would appreciate also), and also being able to spend time with my family.  The cons would be not actually being able to stay in the same room as my girls, and being limited to the resorts that I can choose from.  Some of the ones that fit the bill might not be what we are looking for or have the most desirable amenities.

So, looking at the fact that obviously I'm trying to save as much money as possible, what would be your suggestions for this situation?  Has anyone had any personal experience with this?  I appreciate any ideas!  Thanks!
Kristi

Re: Question for those who have done a family DW...

  • edited December 2011
    Your girls are pretty young.  Have you vacationed without them before?  Have they stayed with your parents for a longer visit before?  It may make them feel excluded from your big event if you stay nearby, but they can't stay with you.  A wedding brings enough uncertainty to kids that young, that any pattern thats not the norm may make them imagine even more upsetting changes.  Even when they adore your Fi.

    If it were me, I would stay at a family friendly resort the whole time.  Packing up and moving halfway through just doesn't sound like fun to me, particularly when you will also be doing wedding stuff as well at that time.

    We got married about an hour from home, and so we stayed in a hotel, and the kids were with us (older kids, they had their own room).  Honestly, one of my favorite memories from our wedding evening/ night was coming back to the hotel, swimming in the pool with DS (DD took a nap), and then having pizza together as a family. ~Donna
  • btrsweetbtrsweet member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Donna- those are all really good points. Many of the ladies on the other board said something similar about packing everything up and moving halfway through...and it does sound like an annoyance! And I really want my girls to feel included- that's high on the priority list! They have never flown before but they stay with my parents everyday while I'm at work, and they stay the night with them all the time, so I think that aspect would be OK. Thanks for the advice!
    Kristi
  • edited December 2011
    Have you considered having a mid-week wedding instead of a weekend wedding?  From my experience most destination wedding guests come for more than just two days, especially since some AIs don't allow guests to book for just two weekend dayss.  So maybe instead you could have your wedding on Monday or Tuesday, and have your guests fly down the Saturday before, enjoy their time in RM, and then you and your new husband can switch resorts the day after the wedding.  That will give you 4-5 days with your friends and family at a family-friendly resort and 5 days and you can enjoy the rest of the time there alone having a honeymoon while any friends or family who want to stay in RM longer can stay without you feeling obligated to spend time with them (since you'll be at a different resort on your honeymoon).

    If that doesn't interest you, I would just pick a family friend resort that's nearby and have your girls stay with your parents.  They may be 5 and 7 now but by March of 2013 they'll be at least 6 and 8 which isn't really THAT young. Just make sure your daughters are comfortable staying with your parents without you and your parents are comfortable taking care of your daughters.  You know your family better than we do and you should know if it's a situation that will work or not.
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