I have a question for all of you who know much more etiquette than I do. At Thanksgiving, my Grandmother brought up questions about who I would like invited to the shower that my Aunt is throwing for me. I gave her and my Aunt a few names of friends that I would like, but other than that said I would probably have it stick to family. My Grandma brought up that my mother might like to have a few of her friends invited, and I said that was totally fine, provided that the number of people is within the realm of what my Aunt is willing/able to host, and that they are invited to the wedding.
My grandma expressed surprise at that statement and asked why, to which I told her its rude to invite someone to a shower to give me a gift if I'm not actually inviting them to the wedding. She told me that when she was growing up, you intentionally invited different people to the wedding than you did to the shower, so that they wouldn't feel obligated to give gifts for both events. I don't even remember how I responded to that, but I kind of brushed past it and emphasized that I was not okay with people being invited to the shower and not the wedding ( I also made sure all my aunts and my mother heard that, so no one gets any ideas).
My question: has anyone else heard of that? Did it used to be a thing? In a way, I get it, but at the same time, wouldn't you just split your gift budget and get two smaller things, or just not do one for the wedding. I can honestly see my grandma just making that up, but was wondering if it was an actual thing that we've moved past.