Wedding Invitations & Paper

How to address without inner envelope?

 I don't know if this has already been asked before, but I need help. We are planning on inviting our friend David and his minor son. David recently began dating a new man and they don't live together. I want to invite all three of them by name. I haven't met the new guy (they live out of state) so it would feel weird to send him his own invite. How do I address the invitation to make it clear it's for all three of them with using an inner envelope? Thanks!

Re: How to address without inner envelope?

  • With no inner envelopes, you just put the names of everyone you're inviting on the outer envelope. If you haven't met his partner, you can include them on the same invite if they don't live together. I'm not 100% sure on the placement of the names (who goes on the same line, if anyone), but there are a lot of posters here who are great at addressing etiquette! 
  • I'm fairly certain this is correct, other's correct me if I'm wrong (I can't seem to tag CMG. Include everyone, on their own lines on an outer envelope. 

    David Lastname
    David's Boyfriend's First and Last Name
    David's Son First and Last Name. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • I'm fairly certain this is correct, other's correct me if I'm wrong (I can't seem to tag CMG. Include everyone, on their own lines on an outer envelope. 

    David Lastname
    David's Boyfriend's First and Last Name
    David's Son First and Last Name.

    **SITB**

    This is correct. David and his partner are not living together or married (officially only married couples are joined by "and" but I think this standard will lax as more couples co-habitate), so they go on separate lines. Minor children always go below the parent(s) on a separate line.
    charlotte989875
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2016
    I just returned from a two week cruise to Hawaii.  This is new etiquette, and I am not certain, but the suggestions sound fine to me.  Since it is a new relationship, I would treat it as a plus one, personally.  Stick in a note and say "You are invited to bring a guest."  Relationships, especially new ones, can change quickly.  At daughter's wedding, a couple broke up a week before the wedding, and both wanted to bring new dates!  Sort of rude, but we allowed it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    bookmaiden17_
  • CMGragain said:
    I just returned from a two week cruise to Hawaii.  This is new etiquette, and I am not certain, but the suggestions sound fine to me.  Since it is a new relationship, I would treat it as a plus one, personally.  Stick in a note and say "You are invited to bring a guest."  Relationships, especially new ones, can change quickly.  At daughter's wedding, a couple broke up a week before the wedding, and both wanted to bring new dates!  Sort of rude, but we allowed it.
    I don't mean to nit-pick, but I'm genuinely curious: general etiquette around here is inviting partners by name, no matter how long the relationship has been. What makes this situation different that it is "too new" and his partner should be a plus one vs invited by name?
    SP29charlotte989875
  • Thanks for the advice! We are still about a year out from our wedding, so if they are still together at that time he would definitely not just be a +1. My FI and I were just starting working on our guest list and I realized I had no idea on the etiquette for addressing an envelope to two men that don't live together.
    Another question I have; we are having a pseudo destination wedding, so we are planning on giving all guests not in relationships a +1. How would I address their invitations to indicate they are welcome to bring someone since we aren't using an inner envelope? 
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2016
    CMGragain said:
    I just returned from a two week cruise to Hawaii.  This is new etiquette, and I am not certain, but the suggestions sound fine to me.  Since it is a new relationship, I would treat it as a plus one, personally.  Stick in a note and say "You are invited to bring a guest."  Relationships, especially new ones, can change quickly.  At daughter's wedding, a couple broke up a week before the wedding, and both wanted to bring new dates!  Sort of rude, but we allowed it.
    I don't mean to nit-pick, but I'm genuinely curious: general etiquette around here is inviting partners by name, no matter how long the relationship has been. What makes this situation different that it is "too new" and his partner should be a plus one vs invited by name?
    If you invite the "new man" by name, he is invited whether the couple stays together, or not.  If you invite your friend to bring a guest, your friend is free to choose   Either choice is etiquette OK for a new relationship.  For an established relationship, I would definitely go with inviting the S/O by name, though.
    Example: Daughter's MOH asked to bring her new friend as a date.  Invitations had already been sent out.  We said, "Sure!".  It worked out well, and they are still together five years later.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2016
    Thanks for the advice! We are still about a year out from our wedding, so if they are still together at that time he would definitely not just be a +1. My FI and I were just starting working on our guest list and I realized I had no idea on the etiquette for addressing an envelope to two men that don't live together.
    Another question I have; we are having a pseudo destination wedding, so we are planning on giving all guests not in relationships a +1. How would I address their invitations to indicate they are welcome to bring someone since we aren't using an inner envelope? 
    To invite your guests to bring a date, you simply enclose a note that says "You are welcome to bring a guest."  You simply address the invitation to the person whom you are inviting.
    The etiquette for addressing an invitation to a same sex couple is no different than addressing an invitation for any other couple.
    I have never heard of a "pseudo destination wedding"!  Please explain.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I don't know if "pseudo destination wedding" is the right wording. My FI and I are both from a super remote and isolated part of Northern California (3 hours from the closest "major" city). We live out of state now, but our folks still live there and it's home so we decided to get married there. About 70% of our guest list has roots there, but live in other places now. I don't know if it would be considered a destination wedding since pretty much everyone is just going home...
  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just returned from a two week cruise to Hawaii.  This is new etiquette, and I am not certain, but the suggestions sound fine to me.  Since it is a new relationship, I would treat it as a plus one, personally.  Stick in a note and say "You are invited to bring a guest."  Relationships, especially new ones, can change quickly.  At daughter's wedding, a couple broke up a week before the wedding, and both wanted to bring new dates!  Sort of rude, but we allowed it.
    I don't mean to nit-pick, but I'm genuinely curious: general etiquette around here is inviting partners by name, no matter how long the relationship has been. What makes this situation different that it is "too new" and his partner should be a plus one vs invited by name?
    If you invite the "new man" by name, he is invited whether the couple stays together, or not.  If you invite your friend to bring a guest, your friend is free to choose   Either choice is etiquette OK for a new relationship.  For an established relationship, I would definitely go with inviting the S/O by name, though.
    Example: Daughter's MOH asked to bring her new friend as a date.  Invitations had already been sent out.  We said, "Sure!".  It worked out well, and they are still together five years later.
    But I thought a relationship was whatever the guest decided it was, and it was rude to set some arbitrary length of what constitutes "established." I think in most cases, a partner who was invited to a wedding of say, their ex's family, would not still attend if they split up. I could understand asking a friend if they WANTED to invite their significant other of a short time to be invited, though. Especially if I had never met their new partner.

    FBIL's now-fiance wasn't invited to his cousin's wedding last year as they had "only" been dating for a couple months. According to the couple getting married, that was "too new." FBIL proposed to her a few months later.
    charlotte989875
  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just returned from a two week cruise to Hawaii.  This is new etiquette, and I am not certain, but the suggestions sound fine to me.  Since it is a new relationship, I would treat it as a plus one, personally.  Stick in a note and say "You are invited to bring a guest."  Relationships, especially new ones, can change quickly.  At daughter's wedding, a couple broke up a week before the wedding, and both wanted to bring new dates!  Sort of rude, but we allowed it.
    I don't mean to nit-pick, but I'm genuinely curious: general etiquette around here is inviting partners by name, no matter how long the relationship has been. What makes this situation different that it is "too new" and his partner should be a plus one vs invited by name?
    If you invite the "new man" by name, he is invited whether the couple stays together, or not.  If you invite your friend to bring a guest, your friend is free to choose   Either choice is etiquette OK for a new relationship.  For an established relationship, I would definitely go with inviting the S/O by name, though.
    Example: Daughter's MOH asked to bring her new friend as a date.  Invitations had already been sent out.  We said, "Sure!".  It worked out well, and they are still together five years later.
    But I thought a relationship was whatever the guest decided it was, and it was rude to set some arbitrary length of what constitutes "established." I think in most cases, a partner who was invited to a wedding of say, their ex's family, would not still attend if they split up. I could understand asking a friend if they WANTED to invite their significant other of a short time to be invited, though. Especially if I had never met their new partner.

    FBIL's now-fiance wasn't invited to his cousin's wedding last year as they had "only" been dating for a couple months. According to the couple getting married, that was "too new." FBIL proposed to her a few months later.
    Agreed. It is up to the couple to decide; any people who present themselves as a social unit, are a social unit. If a host is unsure, the host can always ask.
    charlotte989875ahoywedding
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2016
    Th OP didn't explain in her original post how long the couple had been dating.  It sounded, to me, like this was a very new relationship.  This is why I gave both options,
    The OP then elaborated, explaining that her wedding wasn't for some time, and the nature of the relationship will be clear at the time she send out the invitations.  Problem solved.
    If you invite both people by name, you are inviting both, whether they are still together, or not.  Yes, this happened at daughters wedding.  A long time couple split up the week before the wedding and both came with different dates, adding two more to the guest list.  At that point, we just said, "Oh, well. Whatever."
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I don't know if "pseudo destination wedding" is the right wording. My FI and I are both from a super remote and isolated part of Northern California (3 hours from the closest "major" city). We live out of state now, but our folks still live there and it's home so we decided to get married there. About 70% of our guest list has roots there, but live in other places now. I don't know if it would be considered a destination wedding since pretty much everyone is just going home...
    No, you are not having a destination wedding.  You are being married in your hometown.  Sounds like a sensible plan to me.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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