My husband suffers from anxiety, anger, and probably depression. All of it is untreated, and that will probably never change as he refuses counseling. He has a quick temper, and he can get stuck on my mistakes for hours. He brings up things from my past if they’re relevant to whatever I’ve done in the present. I have no choice but to sit there and take it.
As a result, I’ve told some white lies and tiptoed around him about certain things. Honestly, I do it for my sanity and his well-being. What he doesn’t know truly doesn’t hurt him. Except this time I accidentally paid a bill twice, and I’m trying to cover it up. There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll get caught and get another hours-long lecture, so I can’t even sleep until this is resolved. He’s going to be even more mad that I hid it from him, but if I’d been honest from the start, nothing would be different. I’ve tried solo counseling, but all the strategies I was given don’t work because he’s not changing. And nothing I did do made him respond any differently in the long term. My guess is that you’ll probably tell me to leave him, but I’d really rather not do that. Other options?
—I’m the Liar