Multi- cultural wedding

Knottie80102b195f8a02cf · January 2017

HI! My fiance and I are from different countries (I'm American, he's Norwegian) and are finding we actually have quite a few cultural differences when it comes to weddings. The wedding and reception #1 are in my home town and reception #2 will be in his hometown a month or so later.

He has expressed that he doesn't want his Norwegian heritage to be forgotten about in the wedding planning (I'm planning everything, as he is working in Norway atm). I am keen to do that, but I'm not sure how much I should do ( as majority of guests will be American) or how I'm going to get anything Norwegian in Indiana!

I'm curious what other brides have done to incorporate their finances culture into the wedding, and where you got ideas from.

ILoveBeachMusic · January 2017

Have you asked him what elements of the Norwegian heritage he wants incorporated? I don't know where in Indiana you are but the was a Scandinavian club in Indianapolis at one time. I don't know if there still is or not. They might be able to help you with specifics like musicians or catering. I don't think it will be that big a deal if the majority of your guests are American. They will probably enjoy whatever aspects you include.

charlotte989875 · January 2017

Knottie80102b195f8a02cf said:

HI! My fiance and I are from different countries (I'm American, he's Norwegian) and are finding we actually have quite a few cultural differences when it comes to weddings. The wedding and reception #1 are in my home town and reception #2 will be in his hometown a month or so later.

He has expressed that he doesn't want his Norwegian heritage to be forgotten about in the wedding planning (I'm planning everything, as he is working in Norway atm). I am keen to do that, but I'm not sure how much I should do ( as majority of guests will be American) or how I'm going to get anything Norwegian in Indiana!

I'm curious what other brides have done to incorporate their finances culture into the wedding, and where you got ideas from.

I think the best place to start is to ask him what traditions or parts of his culture he wants incorporated into the wedding. Even if you're doing most of the planning, if this is something important to him he should be helping you with this. I think the best place to get ideas is from him (or his family if you are close to them).

ei34 · January 2017

Knottie80102b195f8a02cf said:

HI! My fiance and I are from different countries (I'm American, he's Norwegian) and are finding we actually have quite a few cultural differences when it comes to weddings. The wedding and reception #1 are in my home town and reception #2 will be in his hometown a month or so later.

He has expressed that he doesn't want his Norwegian heritage to be forgotten about in the wedding planning (I'm planning everything, as he is working in Norway atm). I am keen to do that, but I'm not sure how much I should do ( as majority of guests will be American) or how I'm going to get anything Norwegian in Indiana!

I'm curious what other brides have done to incorporate their finances culture into the wedding, and where you got ideas from.

I got ideas from my DH. No one knew his culture better than him (and his family). Ask your FI what specifically he'd like to be incorporated into your ceremony and reception here in the US...that'd be the best place to start.
When you're meeting with vendors, ask them about their familiarity with your FI's culture. We didn't book a caterer until we found one that made delicious pupusas, platanos, etc. (some of my IL's culturally significant foods)...we made sure our DJ could play plenty of salsa/merengue/bachata, and that our MC spoke Spanish, etc.

Knottie80102b195f8a02cf · January 2017

Thank you guys!
I think I really need to call his mom to get ideas. Whenever I ask him, he gives me really vague answers, which is pretty typical haha. Maybe this will help me get closer with his mom, too.

charlotte989875 · January 2017

Knottie80102b195f8a02cf said:

Thank you guys!
I think I really need to call his mom to get ideas. Whenever I ask him, he gives me really vague answers, which is pretty typical haha. Maybe this will help me get closer with his mom, too.

I think it's great to get to know your future mother in law, especially if you don't get to spend a lot of time with her.

And not to harp on this too much, but if your FI wants something in his wedding he should be the one to say that, and help you arrange that. It's not his mothers responsibility to teach you about what's important to him.

short+sassy · January 2017

It is a shame your FI can't be more specific! If my hypothetical fiance in another country was planning and trying to incorporate American "traditions" in the ceremony and reception for me, there are a lot of "traditions" that I don't care about. And some that I really like and would want. But I wouldn't expect him to be a mind reader!

I think that's great you are going to use this as a way to get closer to and include his mom in the planning. I'd make a list of Norwegian traditions. Figure out which ones are doable. And then ask him from your specific list which ones he wants to include and which ones aren't as important.

Good luck with your planning!

Ro041 · January 2017

I agree with PPs that he should be giving you some direction regarding what he wants if he has said it is important to him. Maybe you should suggest that he talk to his mom about what to include. You can work with her on it, but he really should be pulling some of the weight if he is insisting on it.

VarunaTT · January 2017

I would tell him to ask his mother. If he can't tell you what he wants, that's his problem to solve.

Also, kransekake cake:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020756/uploads/editor/mq/7y6nuxy0vjmx.jpg

and the snarky party of me is all:

Well, I can't get let me google that for you to work, but I'm sure "Norwegian wedding customs" will bring up something.

Multi- cultural wedding

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