Invited via text to destination wedding

Re: Invited via text to destination wedding

• holyguacamole79 member

  

  January 2017

  Ew.  Knottie10724897 said:

  My fiancé and I were invited via text to a destination wedding (in Mexico) that is coming up in just a few months (beginning of April). Is this incredibly rude or am I missing something? 
  
  It's unlikely that we'll go as we're obviously planning a wedding of our own but I wanted to get thoughts from the crowd on the etiquette of this. It basically feels as though we're being invited to an elopement given the destination and short notice.

  I'd text back and say something like, "can't wait to see the details with the invitation."  (that is, if you're considering going).  Otherwise, ignore and eye roll. 

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• kimmiinthemitten member

  

  January 2017

  Knottie10724897 said:

  My fiancé and I were invited via text to a destination wedding (in Mexico) that is coming up in just a few months (beginning of April). Is this incredibly rude or am I missing something? 
  
  It's unlikely that we'll go as we're obviously planning a wedding of our own but I wanted to get thoughts from the crowd on the etiquette of this. It basically feels as though we're being invited to an elopement given the destination and short notice.

  
  Do you think this it for the invitation or just some friends giving you a heads up?

  
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2017

  kimmiinthemitten said:

  show previous quotes

  Knottie10724897 said:

  My fiancé and I were invited via text to a destination wedding (in Mexico) that is coming up in just a few months (beginning of April). Is this incredibly rude or am I missing something? 
  
  It's unlikely that we'll go as we're obviously planning a wedding of our own but I wanted to get thoughts from the crowd on the etiquette of this. It basically feels as though we're being invited to an elopement given the destination and short notice.

  
  Do you think this it for the invitation or just some friends giving you a heads up?

  that is what I was wondering.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Knottie10724897 member

  

  January 2017

  I think this is it for the invitation. The groom texted my fiancé and said they need a final head count for the travel agent asap so we need to give them our answer in the next few days. 

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2017

  Sounds like a follow up to an already sent invitation that you might not have gotten for whatever reason.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• downtondiva member

  

  January 2017 edited January 2017

  lyndausvi said:

  Sounds like a follow up to an already sent invitation that you might not have gotten for whatever reason.

  You may be on to something, @lyndausvi. Is there any polite way to clarify this with the couple?
  
   I find it bizarre that anyone would invite someone to a destination wedding via text, but my husband was once invited to a (local) wedding 2 days beforehand via FB message so who knows.
  
  Either way, I don't think you can entirely ignore it. At the very least you should let them know you're not coming (if that is a final decision) in case there was some sort of mix-up with the invites.

  
  

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• LondonLisa member

  

  January 2017

  I hate to be pessimistic, but it feels a bit like they might have travel minimums and people have dropped out. Did you know they were engaged? Is this a last minute elopement? Could they be B listing? 
  

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• kimmiinthemitten member

  

  January 2017

  Knottie10724897 said:

  I think this is it for the invitation. The groom texted my fiancé and said they need a final head count for the travel agent asap so we need to give them our answer in the next few days. 

  I'd say something along the lines of "we never received an invitation so we weren't able to make a decision."

  
  

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• Knottie10724897 member

  

  January 2017

  Unfortunately, no to most of the above. We were not B listed and we did not accidentally not receive an invitation. In fact, my fiance is friends with the guy they asked to be the best man, and they just asked him last week (via a phone call). They have not sent out any sort of formal invitation or save the date and seem to just be inviting people via phone or text to the wedding. We did know they were engaged and they have been for awhile but never had set plans for the wedding until about a week ago 

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• Heffalump member

  

  January 2017

  Knottie10724897 said:

  Unfortunately, no to most of the above. We were not B listed and we did not accidentally not receive an invitation. In fact, my fiance is friends with the guy they asked to be the best man, and they just asked him last week (via a phone call). They have not sent out any sort of formal invitation or save the date and seem to just be inviting people via phone or text to the wedding. We did know they were engaged and they have been for awhile but never had set plans for the wedding until about a week ago 

  
  Yeah, that would get a hearty "hell no" from me. 

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2017

  It's never rude to decline an invitation. Just tell them you can't make it.  You don't need to say why. If they ask why (which would be little pushy on their part), tell them you didn't have enough notice to make arrangements, but you wish them well. 

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• MandyMost member

  

  January 2017

  If people want to have a casual wedding with no invitations, that's fine. I bet you get invited out to dinners/drinks/hanging out with friends regularly via text, and you don't need a written invite for that. But it's also just as easy to say "Thanks! Nah, I can't make it that day! Have fun!". Do the same thing for this invite.
  
  If you DO want to give reasons why you're saying No, then it's easy to just say "Thanks for the invite. Mexico in April sounds like a great time. We usually plan our travel further in advance (or we've already planned other vacations, or we won't have time to budget for it, or we're too caught up in our own wedding planning to go on a trip right now), but hope you have an awesome time and I can't wait to see pics". 

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• ahoywedding member

  

  January 2017

  MandyMost said:

  If people want to have a casual wedding with no invitations, that's fine. I bet you get invited out to dinners/drinks/hanging out with friends regularly via text, and you don't need a written invite for that. But it's also just as easy to say "Thanks! Nah, I can't make it that day! Have fun!". Do the same thing for this invite.
  
  If you DO want to give reasons why you're saying No, then it's easy to just say "Thanks for the invite. Mexico in April sounds like a great time. We usually plan our travel further in advance (or we've already planned other vacations, or we won't have time to budget for it, or we're too caught up in our own wedding planning to go on a trip right now), but hope you have an awesome time and I can't wait to see pics". 

  Yeah but wedding >>>> drinks/dinner with friends. I got invited via text to one wedding and it was a backyard deal with family and like 10 friends and they were only getting married because he needed the dental insurance. It STILL felt a little....odd. There would have been time to mail an invite asking for an email or phone RSVP (or, most of us who attended were coworkers, so she could have handed invites out at work, grade-school-birthday-party style).

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• SP29 member

  

  January 2017 edited January 2017

  That would make me very... uncomfortable.
  
  I would also be wondering if I was B-listed and asked only to fill a minimum, and how legitimate the invite was. But OP, it sounds like this couple is SUPERRRR casual. Which is fine, but the B&G also have to realize that being so casual and last minute means less guests are likely to attend.
  
  Fine for you to decline the invitation. "Sorry, we can't make it".
  
  

  MandyMost said:

  If people want to have a casual wedding with no invitations, that's fine. I bet you get invited out to dinners/drinks/hanging out with friends regularly via text, and you don't need a written invite for that. But it's also just as easy to say "Thanks! Nah, I can't make it that day! Have fun!". Do the same thing for this invite.
  
  
  

  True. But the formality of the invitation should match the formality of the event. Some would argue (we've had this discussion a few times before on TK), that a wedding is by definition a formal event, even if it's not FORMAL.
  
  And we're also talking about a destination wedding in the OPs case. Most people require more than 3 months to plan and book time off work for a specific date and location.
  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2017

  I abhor invitations to weddings that come via any means other than a paper invitation. However, receiving one would not be what I used to judge whether or not I would go. Go if you want and can, or don't. Snark and vent about it here, and move on. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  January 2017

  I've gotten invites like that for friends literally inviting next to no one to their DW - Not my favorite, but it happens.  

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• mrose88 member

  

  January 2017

  I feel like I'm in the extreeeeeme minority here, but I honestly would only care about getting a text invite if it left me without all the information I needed. As long as I know what you're asking me to do, where, and when, I truly don't care what form it comes in. Is it a little surprising/weird to get a text/e-vite/ Facebook invite? Sure. But my general vibe on it is, "meh-- it's their thing." 

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2017

  A wedding is a major life event, it's not just another 4th of July BBQ.
  
  Being so casual and laid back that you can't be bothered to send actual invitations just comes across as lazy to me.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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