Postwedding Brunch - Can I invite those not invited to the wedding?

Re: Postwedding Brunch - Can I invite those not invited to the wedding?

• sparklepants41 member

  

  January 2017

  Knottie74313e431a337f49 said:

  Hi! We have a huge wedding guest list that we just cannot get down, and my soon to be father-in-law has 20 more people he wants to invite  - we can't fit that much. He suggested we invite them to our wedding brunch. Is that weird and rude? Apparently he has been to a brunch before where he wasn't invited to the wedding so he thinks it should be fine but I have never heard of that. Anyone out there know? Thanks! 

  Hi, OP
  Anyone who is invited to wedding-related activities (engagement party, shower, Bach Parties, Rehearsal Dinner, Post-Wedding Brunch) MUST be invited to the wedding. This is proper etiquette/common decency/the polite thing to do. Is your FIL paying for this post-wedding brunch? Have your FI talk to him (blood talks to blood) and tell him that unfortunately you cannot accommodate these additional people, as they will not be at the wedding.
  
  

  

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2017

  No, this would be rude.  Anyone invite to a wedding related event (day after brunch, shower, b-party, e-party) must also be invited to the wedding itself. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  January 2017

  Weird and rude. 

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• SP29 member

  

  January 2017

  Nope, as covered above.
  
  No one is entitled to an invitation to your wedding. The first steps in planning are knowing your budget and who you want to invite. Then you decide on the kind of wedding you can have. It sounds you've gone a bit backwards here- you shouldn't be trying to fit guests into a venue.
  
  Is FIL paying for the wedding? If so, he gets a say in the guest list, but it needs to fall in line with the budget and venue. If not, it's nice to take his preferences into account, but you are not required to accommodate. If he is requesting a large number of guests, you can tell him, "FIL, we have X spots free for additional guests. Please give us a list of X people you'd like to see invited by Y date". Then the onus is on him to trim his list down.
  
  If he's trying to add on guests after you have established a guest list and found a venue, then you (by you I mean your FI) needs to be firm and tell him, "The guest list has been finalized. We cannot accommodate more guests".
  
  
  
  

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• Knottie74313e431a337f49 member

  

  January 2017

  Got it - thanks all! 
  
  

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