• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Dilemma

Hi all  

I'm new to this site, but have something I need some opinions on! I am in the process of finalizing my wedding party - I have a maid and matron of honor (my two best friends), and have asked 3 of my closest friends to be bridesmaids. I feel blessed they all said yes, especially because some are traveling far! Because I would like to include family, I also plan on asking my niece to be a bridesmaid, (my older half brothers daughter who I am close with), but my confusion and dilemma is whether to ALSO ask my two younger half sisters (we have the same dad). 

I don't feel as close with my half sisters, but my niece and two younger sisters are VERY close and hang out all the time. So I have been feeling guilty over asking 1 and not all three. Will my half sisters feel left out, if they aren't in it and my niece is? Will it affect my dad? I was raised an only child by my mom, so my younger half sisters have always been a part of my life from the time they were babies, but because of our age gap (12 and 14 years younger than me - I'm in my thirties), it has played a role with us not being as close I feel, not to mention we never lived together growing up.

If I have my 5 friends plus put all three family members that will be 8 total in my wedding party, which is also more to think about in terms of flowers, etc. I know this is total "champagne problems" as they say - ha! But I honestly have been SO confused on what to do because it's a unique family situation! I should mention that because they are younger than I, I wouldn't expect much from them other than to come to bridal shower, and wedding, which is fine. 

Anyways, appreciate hearing from some of you on what you think I should do  My gut isn't leading me one way in particular. 

p.s. I should mention I don't think of them as "half-sisters" per se, but it was just easier to describe on here. 

Xo

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    When you cross post, you need to indicate that in the title.

    If you aren't close to your younger sisters then don't ask them to be in the WP.It doesn't matter if you would expect them to do anything or not - there are no jobs for the WP except to show up, wearing what you ask of them (after privately determining a budget) and smile for pictures.  
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You should only include your nearest and dearest in your WP.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    MesmrEweOliveOilsMom
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2017
    Hi all  

    I'm new to this site, but have something I need some opinions on! I am in the process of finalizing my wedding party - I have a maid and matron of honor (my two best friends), and have asked 3 of my closest friends to be bridesmaids. I feel blessed they all said yes, especially because some are traveling far! Because I would like to include family, I also plan on asking my niece to be a bridesmaid, (my older half brothers daughter who I am close with), but my confusion and dilemma is whether to ALSO ask my two younger half sisters (we have the same dad). 

    I don't feel as close with my half sisters, but my niece and two younger sisters are VERY close and hang out all the time. So I have been feeling guilty over asking 1 and not all three. Will my half sisters feel left out, if they aren't in it and my niece is? Will it affect my dad? I was raised an only child by my mom, so my younger half sisters have always been a part of my life from the time they were babies, but because of our age gap (12 and 14 years younger than me - I'm in my thirties), it has played a role with us not being as close I feel, not to mention we never lived together growing up.

    If I have my 5 friends plus put all three family members that will be 8 total in my wedding party, which is also more to think about in terms of flowers, etc. I know this is total "champagne problems" as they say - ha! But I honestly have been SO confused on what to do because it's a unique family situation! I should mention that because they are younger than I, I wouldn't expect much from them other than to come to bridal shower, and wedding, which is fine. 

    Anyways, appreciate hearing from some of you on what you think I should do  My gut isn't leading me one way in particular. 

    p.s. I should mention I don't think of them as "half-sisters" per se, but it was just easier to describe on here. 

    Xo
    1.  There are no rules about including ANYONE in your bridal party.  No one has the right to expect to be in your bridal party, family, or not.

    2.  The only person who may choose the members of the bridal party is the bride, herself.  That means YOU!  Do not apologize or explain your decisions to anyone.  You do not need to give your reasons for your choices. If somebody asks, you say "We have already finalized our wedding plans."

    3.  I question the highlighted portion of your post.  What are you expecting from your bridal party members?  Their only duties are to show up in the dress, on time and sober, stand up with you during your ceremony, and to pose for pictures.  That is all.  They are not required to give or attend any parties for you.  They are not required to help you shop for your wedding dress.  They are not required to help you plan your wedding.

    4.  You are not entitled to a shower.  This is something that is offered to you by close friends.  Do not assume that you will have one.  Many brides, including my own daughter, do not get one.  This also goes for bachelorette parties.  You do not plan them.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I am not assuming or expecting anything! My MOH and bridesmaids are all naturally excited to throw my a shower. That's unfortunate and I'm sorry to hear your daughter did not get one. I personally just feel blessed to have everyone stand with me that day. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards