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Do I invite my step sisters and their boyfriends/fiancé ?

I have grown up with my step sisters since I was 6. One of them I get along with and the other one has never really made an effort with me. I wouldn't say we are close but we talk friendly enough to each other when we see each other. I've never met either the boyfriend or fiancé. Since being 18+ I see my step sisters every 3-6 months and that's only when I go to see my dad and step mum.

Re: Do I invite my step sisters and their boyfriends/fiancé ?

  • I think I'm just struggling with the fact that I have had a relationship with them, but it's also hard to know whether they would invite me to their wedding.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think I'm just struggling with the fact that I have had a relationship with them, but it's also hard to know whether they would invite me to their wedding.
    Wedding invitations aren't tit-for-tat, so don't use that as your criterion for inviting your stepsisters.

    If you're not close to them then I wouldn't invite them. But if you grew up with them and didn't invite them, regardless of whether they would invite you to their weddings, I think not inviting them might cause deeply hurt feelings. You might want to take that into consideration when making your final decision about inviting them.

    But if you do invite them, you are also required to invite their relationship partners, even if you haven't met or don't like them, because you can't invite one half of a social unit without inviting the other.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Whether or not they would invite you is not relevant to you making the decision on whether or not to invite them. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think I'm just struggling with the fact that I have had a relationship with them, but it's also hard to know whether they would invite me to their wedding.
    It doesn't matter if they would invite you to their wedding or not. If you want to invite them, invite them. Weddings aren't tit for tat. Personally, I would invite them just for family harmony. I invited my step sisters and step brother even though we didn't grow up together. They are older than me. I knew, however, if I didn't my father would have been very upset.
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Usually I err on the side of "if you aren't close then don't invite them." That being said, I think you will
    create unnecessary drama for yourself if you don't invite them. Four people shouldn't break the budget. It's not like they were horrible to you growing up. You even said it was friendly. I think the best course of action here is to invite them, even if it's not "technically" required. 

    And ditto pps. All significant others must be invited. 

  • They are your sisters. Unless they are evil
    people you have no relationship with of course you should invite them. 
  • It's up to you, obviously, but I see no reason not to invite your stepsisters. If you hated each other or didn't know each other at all, that would be one thing, but you say you grew up with them and that you get along pretty well. To me, that says there's enough of a relationship that it's worth inviting them and that it could cause hard feelings if you don't.
    [Deleted User]cowgirl8238
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You are not required to invite anyone (well, you do need to invite SOs of an invitee), but I think it would cause some hurtful feelings to exclude them. Maybe even some unnecessary drama.    You do see them and are on friendly terms.  You do see their parent/your step-parent.      I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't invite them either? 

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • While generally speaking I would say, "If you aren't close, don't invite them", these are people you grew up with who are still part of your immediate family members' lives- I would invite them (with their SOs of course).
  • I think your father and stepmother as well as the stepsisters might feel slighted if you do not invite them. Are you inviting less close blood relatives (aunts/uncles/cousins)? If so, I don't understand why you wouldn't invite them. And yes, that means their SOs absolutely must be invited with them.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2017
    OK, I can relate to this.
    I had four step-siblings while I was in college.  Two lived at home with us, two were grown and married.  I often cared for the two young ones when I was home.
    After four years, the marriage broke up.  Former step-father remarried as soon as the divorce decree was final.  (That one lasted five years.)
    I invited the youngest step-sister, who was then 16, and gave her a special gift.
    I did not invite the young step-brother because he was a monster.  (Horrible, unspeakable, ugly issues!)
    I did not invite the two older step-sisters because we barely knew each other.

    Nobody thought anything was odd about this.
  • All invited guests must be invited with their SO (anyone who considers themselves in a relationship; Boy/girl friends, engaged, married).  Single guests can be invited with a Plus One (a nice gesture) but it is not mandatory to give a date.  It is generally advised to give everyone on the list their SO/Plus One to allow for new relationships to form between initial planning and the time invites go out.  Now with all that said...

    If you grew up with these two step-sisters and you generally get along I would invite them in order to avoid any potential family drama or hurt feelings.  Also. you're talking about four people, so unless your venue/budget is that tight I don't see any harm.  If you don't think there will be any drama/hurt feelings than you do not have to include them.    Also keep in mind that whoever pays gets a say in the guest list. 

  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    For what it's worth, I don't have much of a relationship with my step sister and don't see her too much. There's nothing bad with our relationship, we're just not that close and have different interests and such. However, we're always included in each others' big life events, and I absolutely invited her plus her boyfriend (who I had probably spoken a total of five words to before) to my wedding and was very happy I did. The two of them had a great time and I truly think it improved our relationship.. when we see each other the mood is fun and comfortable. The two of them actually just got engaged themselves and I am over the moon for them.

    To be honest, knowing someone since you were 6 is a pretty big deal, and the fact that you still see them 3-6 times a year is also pretty frequent. I don't think I see some of my first cousins more than once a year.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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