I have both a Maid and a Matron of Honor in my bridal party.
I was the Maid of Honor in my Matron’s wedding. She also happened to have a Matron of honor. In her case, her Matron was more of a “symbolic” role. The Matron didn’t take on any of the normal MOH duties (I did all of them myself).
I assumed (oops) I would be able to take this approach with my wedding and decided to have my friend as Matron of Honor for symbolic purposes.
I had been taking this approach and my Maid had been handling most of the MOH duties and my friend mentioned to me that the duties are supposed to be split evenly.
We had an issue when selecting bridesmaids dresses. Both the Maid and the Matron wanted different dresses than the other bridesmaids but my sister was 100% against the Matron having a different dress. She was adamant about the Matron not upstaging her. As a compromise, all of the girls have the same dress but the Maid has it in a different color and the Matron has a sash that matches the color of the Maids dress. Whew!
Now, we are pretty close to the wedding and the Matron has told me that she would like to make a speech at the wedding. This is not going to bode well with my Maid of Honor.
At this point I am trying to figure out how to accommodate my Matron without upsetting my Maid, and vice versa.
And yes, I am aware this is my fault for appointing two difficult people to “important” roles. I honestly just assumed the Matron would have no issue approaching it how we did with her wedding. : [