Do i have to ask her?

Knottie1f6d3096b68d9c6b · January 2017

I am in an inner struggle on having to ask someone to be my bridesmaid. I have my sister as my MOH and my fiances little sistet (who i am close with) as my BM. My fiance is having 3 people and so i wanted to have my best friend since kindergarten as my other bridesmaid. Unfortunately i keep being told that i have to ask my fiances older sister. I used to be very close with her but she has gone through some things and has become a very negative person and we are no longer close after she has said many hurtful things to me. I want my wedding day to be awesome and happy and i am worried she will ruin it! Do i have to ask her or can i ask my best friend? I just dont want to the drama!

ei34 · January 2017

Knottie1f6d3096b68d9c6b said:

I am in an inner struggle on having to ask someone to be my bridesmaid. I have my sister as my MOH and my fiances little sistet (who i am close with) as my BM. My fiance is having 3 people and so i wanted to have my best friend since kindergarten as my other bridesmaid. Unfortunately i keep being told that i have to ask my fiances older sister. I used to be very close with her but she has gone through some things and has become a very negative person and we are no longer close after she has said many hurtful things to me. I want my wedding day to be awesome and happy and i am worried she will ruin it! Do i have to ask her or can i ask my best friend? I just dont want to the drama!

I'd go with your best friend. Sides don't have to be even, so even if you were close with FSIL, you could have them both and have four in total. But yeah, I'd pass on your FSIL. If your FI wants her involved, he can have her stand on his side.

mrose88 · January 2017

No. Ask whoever you want, or feel free to keep the sides uneven.

CMGragain · January 2017

The bridal party is selected by the BRIDE (that's you) and nobody else. Someone is being very rude to you by trying to dictate who should be in your party. Tell them to stop it.

downtondiva · January 2017

Your bridal party, your decision. The end.

AddieCake · January 2017

Only you get to decide who stands with you on your side.

Jen4948 · January 2017

No, you don't have to ask anyone. It's entirely up to you who is in your wedding party. Tell that to whoever tells you that you have to ask your FSIL or anyone else to be in your wedding party.

And if they get pushy, tell them that if and only if they are planning their own weddings, they get to decide who is in the wedding party, but they do not get to make this decision for anyone else's wedding.

mandypants90 · January 2017

Only you get to make that decision. I agree with the idea that if your FI wants her to be involved, she can stand on his side. You don't need to have even numbers. If you really want to ask your friend, do so. Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest.

kahluakoala · January 2017

First off - you don't have to ask her, you can make your own choices here. BUT, some things to think about - will your FI's family be hurt if you dont? will it hurt your relationship with your new ILs or your relationship with your new sister? You say "people keep telling you you have to", who are these people? Sometimes, things are not worth fighting over, so if I were you I'd just consider the consequences here.

That said, sides absolutely do not have to be even so don't think of it as "either/or", definitely ask your close friend, and consider if you add your FSIL you will have 4 BMs.

cowgirl8238 · January 2017

KahluaKoala said:

First off - you don't have to ask her, you can make your own choices here. BUT, some things to think about - will your FI's family be hurt if you dont? will it hurt your relationship with your new ILs or your relationship with your new sister? You say "people keep telling you you have to", who are these people? Sometimes, things are not worth fighting over, so if I were you I'd just consider the consequences here.

That said, sides absolutely do not have to be even so don't think of it as "either/or", definitely ask your close friend, and consider if you add your FSIL you will have 4 BMs.

All of this...also, I would add that if neither of you don't want FSIL to be in the BP, you could also have her do a reading. That way she is still "special" without being a part of your BP. You know the family dynamics best...at the end of the day though, your party, your choice.

Do i have to ask her?

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