Wedding Party

Do i have to ask her?

I am in an inner struggle on having to ask someone to be my bridesmaid. I have my sister as my MOH and my fiances little sistet (who i am close with) as my BM. My fiance is having 3 people and so i wanted to have my best friend since kindergarten as my other bridesmaid. Unfortunately i keep being told that i have to ask my fiances older sister. I used to be very close with her but she has gone through some things and has become a very negative person and we are no longer close after she has said many hurtful things to me. I want my wedding day to be awesome and happy and i am worried she will ruin it! Do i have to ask her or can i ask my best friend? I just dont want to the drama! 

Re: Do i have to ask her?

  • No. Ask whoever you want, or feel free to keep the sides uneven. 
  • Your bridal party, your decision. The end. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Only you get to decide who stands with you on your side. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No, you don't have to ask anyone. It's entirely up to you who is in your wedding party. Tell that to whoever tells you that you have to ask your FSIL or anyone else to be in your wedding party.

    And if they get pushy, tell them that if and only if they are planning their own weddings, they get to decide who is in the wedding party, but they do not get to make this decision for anyone else's wedding.
  • Only you get to make that decision. I agree with the idea that if your FI wants her to be involved, she can stand on his side. You don't need to have even numbers. If you really want to ask your friend, do so. Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest.
  • First off - you don't have to ask her, you can make your own choices here. BUT, some things to think about - will your FI's family be hurt if you dont? will it hurt your relationship with your new ILs or your relationship with your new sister? You say "people keep telling you you have to", who are these people? Sometimes, things are not worth fighting over, so if I were you I'd just consider the consequences here. 

    That said, sides absolutely do not have to be even so don't think of it as "either/or", definitely ask your close friend, and consider if you add your FSIL you will have 4 BMs. 
    All of this...also, I would add that if neither of you don't want FSIL to be in the BP, you could also have her do a reading.  That way she is still "special" without being a part of your BP.  You know the family dynamics the end of the day though, your party, your choice.
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