Snarky Brides

The entourage dress shopping experience?

 This should probably be in attire but since this is half snark I'll put it here. To be honest,  I have not been dreaming of my wedding my entire life, but my FI has always wanted a big wedding, and he has been amazing with the planning process.  My problem is that I'm planning my first dress shopping experience, I'm 11 months out, and I want it to be my mom (paying) and my BFF (opinion I trust). Unfortunately, I'm discoving my sister,  her toddler daughter,  my FML, and others want to be apart of this "experience" and it is making me feel super uncomfortable. It is nice that all of these people want to support me but it is a dress for one day of my life...why is it such a big deal?  Do I suck it up and do the "entourage experience" or can I say no? And how do I say no? 

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Answers

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2017
    If you are going to have a large group with you, ask the salon if this is permitted.  Two of the five shops daughter and I were in had rules restricting the number of people, due to space.  I suspect that the REAL reason is that it is harder to close a sale with so many different opinions.  Call and ask.  This may provide you with the excuse you need to say "No, sorry," to the extra people.

    I would also reccomend that you go to the shops, alone, and pre-shop.  Pick out three dresses to show your family.  You will be less confused, and less likely to make an impulsive mistake.  I bought my own dress by myself.
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    OurWildKingdomthisismynickname2cowgirl8238SP29
  • Thank you all. I felt like a bitch wanting to say no, but you gave me good ideas on how to make everyone happy.  I'll definitely call shops ahead of time to check how many people can come.  
  • Another thing, is that if you only want certain people to help decide on a dress - have them first. If you decide later you want those people to see, you could have them come for fittings. That way they get to see it as well.

    I've mentioned this in another forum, but I only had my mum help me decide on the dress {she actually found 'the dress' funny enough} but later I had certain people come for fitting appointments {my MIL came with my BMs to see the dress}

    But as a few other said, don't do something you aren't comfortable with.
    sparklepants41cowgirl8238SP29
  • I only went dress shopping with my Mom (payee and trusted opinion) and my FMIL.  It was nice to only have two people looking at all the options.  In the end they had totally different tastes but were respectful of my choice (Mom loved it, FMIL said she likes them all but I suspect she liked a different one more). 

    I would go with the two people you want.  You can always have them take a picture of you in the dress you find and have them share in the experience that way.  3 of my 4 BMs saw my dress that way...the last BM saw it while we were getting ready, NBD.

    I think you can just say no here.  If you need to say something maybe borrow CMG excuse:  "I'm glad that you are excited to go dress shopping with me, but there is not enough space to include everyone.  I'll send you a pic of the dress once we find one if you'd like."  -I went to all my fittings on my own.  I didn't need my friends watching me try to squish my boobs into the gown!

    SP29
  • I knew I wanted my BFF there. Then both my sisters and my mother asked if they could come. I didn't want an entourage either, but I also didn't want to hurt anyone by saying no. 

    I went once for sort of a "scouting" trip since I didn't really know what I wanted. I took my mom and one sister. I narrowed it down at that appointment to two dresses. Two weeks later I went back to make a final decision and took BFF and other sister.
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    OurWildKingdom
  • Trying on dresses can be a personal experience, so I would not bring more people than you are comfortable with, or who you are not comfortable with. Only you get to decide who you will invite- it's OK to say no.

    I had a few friends come with me, but I was shopping without my mom and BFF so I wanted some opinions. But I knew my friends would not be pushy and opinionated.

    I went to my dress fittings alone. They were pretty... lackluster? I mean very direct. Put the dress on. Get it pinned, take it off. But you could bring some other people with you as a way to include them if they express interest.
  • Also, when you call the shops and ask how many people is too many for an entourage, judge the pauses and hesitation. Most of the time, the consultants will be nice and try to convince you to come in and say "however many you want, it's no problem with us." etc. Don't just blatantly ask if you're allowed to bring X number of people, start the conversation by asking for advice; how many people do you recommend I bring. That'll give you a more honest answer.
    OurWildKingdomKnottie1470510490cowgirl8238
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