**EDITED TO ADD- Thanks for your input everyone - situation has been resolved before most of you posted, oops! I don't know how to delete this post or close it or whatever, so I thought I'd just write this blurb**
Okay, I know I might get some bad reactions about this - people are going to think I'm selfish, whatever. I'm hoping to find out if anyone else has been in this situation and what they have done.
An acquaintance of my Fiance (they used to be friends but haven't talked often in the past few years) got engaged this winter. Knowing full well when our wedding is (October of this year, save the dates already sent etc), they decided to have their wedding two weeks before ours, and ask my fiance to be a groomsman (one of 7). This friend is not in my fiance's wedding party, as they are not super close and we wanted to keep it small.
SO. My concerns are:
1) COST of being a groomsman. They are having a stag and doe, and bachelor party, which of course he will have to financially contribute to. I have recently returned to full time education and am not working, and we have to pay our mortgage, pay for our wedding and I feel that it just might not be financially feasible. Also, their wedding, stag and doe and bachelor party are out of town and will require hotel stays.
2) Time commitment - the time it takes to plan events for someone else's wedding will cut into our planning IMHO, not to mention, we'll be doing all the last minute stuff two weeks before ours, and I don't want to have to do all that myself.
3) I don't always like to discuss this, but I have pretty severe social anxiety. Enough that the idea of sitting by myself with nobody that I know is ALREADY causing me huge stress. I only know the bride and groom (not very well) and the groom's cousin (who is best man) and his wife, who I will not be sitting with as she is 'family'. I don't easily converse with strangers, and that feeling of being 'left out' and having to fend for myself all day while they're getting ready gives me a lot of stress.
He was best man for his best friend last year, and I was seated with my Fiance's parents so it wasn't as bad, but I was purposefully excluded (not even allowed in our hotel room because the boys were getting ready). I know how I am and know I won't enjoy myself if I go the way things are. I feel bad asking him to just be a guest, but if he does end up being a groomsman, I'm not sure I'll be comfortable enough to go.
Yes I know I'm an adult, yes I know you'll tell me to 'suck it up'. So no need to share that opinion. Looking more for productive suggestions. SORRY for the wall of text, and thanks in advance!