Has anyone opted for the Engaged Encounter Weekend?

semonrobbins · February 2016

My fiance and I are trying to decide if we want to do the 2 session pre-cana classes or the engaged encounter weekend, I've seen a lot of feedback on the pre-cana classes but nothing about Engaged Encounter. Any feedback is appreciated.

holyguacamole79 · February 2016

What is your pre-Cana class like? Is it in a group setting, or is there individual time?

Our options were Engaged Encounter vs sponsor couple. We took the sponsor couple bc it allowed for 2 couples to talk together privately, and we really liked it.

geebee908 · February 2016

We did an Engaged Encounter weekend and it worked really well for us. We were living in two different cities and needed/wanted the option of doing it over one trip.

It was a very interesting and fulfilling weekend. The format for most of the weekend is listening to a talk given by one of the presenting couples, then going to a private area to reflect individually on the topic with questions we were given, and then coming together as a couple to compare and discuss our answers. This was done for each topic they covered, so several repeats of this process.

One of the best things about it was just totally putting all wedding planning aside and out of mind for the entire weekend and focusing on us and our future.

scrunchythief · February 2016

Our church only had weekend long marriage prep, though I'm not sure if it's the same as Engaged Encounter. It was worthwhile, though for us there was a lot of repeat information. We'd already had secular couples counseling before our engagement as well as a few meetings with our college priest. I think people should have counseling before their engagement, so that's what we did:)

tigerlily6 · February 2016

Our dioceses has us have several meetings with a sponsor couple and an engagement retreat (it's not called Engaged Encounter, but I guess it's similar). Our retreat is next week. I am actually really excited for it -- I think it will help solidify some of the details about the wedding ceremony itself, and also give us an opportunity to meet with other couples getting married in our area. I'm sure everybody will be there from different paths of life, but I am still interested in meeting them.

If I had a choice, however, I am really enjoying our time with our sponsor couple. It is very intimate yet also casual. They are reviewing our FOCCUS tests with us gradually, with lots of tangents, but touching on lots of important points. FI and I have found ourselves discussing a lot of topics more afterwards thanks to their direction. Well worth it, if that's an option.

scrunchythief · February 2016

tigerlily6 said:

Our dioceses has us have several meetings with a sponsor couple and an engagement retreat (it's not called Engaged Encounter, but I guess it's similar). Our retreat is next week. I am actually really excited for it -- I think it will help solidify some of the details about the wedding ceremony itself, and also give us an opportunity to meet with other couples getting married in our area. I'm sure everybody will be there from different paths of life, but I am still interested in meeting them.

If I had a choice, however, I am really enjoying our time with our sponsor couple. It is very intimate yet also casual. They are reviewing our FOCCUS tests with us gradually, with lots of tangents, but touching on lots of important points. FI and I have found ourselves discussing a lot of topics more afterwards thanks to their direction. Well worth it, if that's an option.

Did anyone else not take the FOCCUS test? I'd been really excited about it, but then our diocese didn't even have it as an option.

MizLizz · February 2016

The quality of marriage preparation program varies, regardless of format or diocese. I do tell Catholic couples that the Engaged Encounter Weekends are the least demanding in term of time ... get it over all at once, especially if the couple are from out of town

One couple I worked with raved about their experience with the Engaged Encounter; but their marriage crashed and burned. Anothere couple went through a weekend of marriage preparation classes; the bridegroom compared it to the dating and marriage class he had in 11th grade in a parochial high school. A third couple had one-on-one counseling with their parish priest, who held a Ph.D in psychology; the priest helped them realize that they weren't ready for marriage

Ghostie625 · February 2016

The pre-cana for my diocese is a one day, 8-5 course. We don't really have another option. I feel like it's going to be a long day which I'm not looking forward to, but since we live out of state from where we're getting married it's better for us to only have to go up for one weekend.
There's also a meeting with just us and the priest that we've already had. It got us talking about some stuff and I'm sure we'll get more in-depth with it when we do the pre-cana day.
Friends of mine did the course over two weekends and they had some pretty good feedback about it.

doclago · April 2016

I did engaged encounter prior to my first marriage and it was a joke. I learned more from talking to the Catholic psychologist during our annulments (my fiance and I were interviewed together).

MesmrEwe · April 2016

We were required to do the Engaged Encounter weekend along with the classes with the priest... For us - the weekend was a pure waste of time. We'd already discussed all of the questions, but more than that it really got on our nerves on so many levels. Someone in the audience asked during an "ask anonymous questions" the question "How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship? was met with "That's such an inappropriate question" by the moderator and couples panel - I think it shut the entire room off because that really is an important question in regard to single vs. married life...

(Not to rekindle the old post...)

scrunchythief · April 2016

MesmrEwe said:

We were required to do the Engaged Encounter weekend along with the classes with the priest... For us - the weekend was a pure waste of time. We'd already discussed all of the questions, but more than that it really got on our nerves on so many levels. Someone in the audience asked during an "ask anonymous questions" the question "How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship? was met with "That's such an inappropriate question" by the moderator and couples panel - I think it shut the entire room off because that really is an important question in regard to single vs. married life...
(Not to rekindle the old post...)

Wow, that's awful! Is it bad I kind of feel bad for the moderator's spouse?

I wish people at these kind of events would be more careful. My parents didn't get married in the church in large part due to how my (Jewish) father was treated at a Pre-Cana weekend. I don't know if it was EE or not, but the people were really nasty to him. So he left, and my parents had a civil ceremony.

[Deleted User] · February 2017

At our parish, the Engaged Encounter is optional. We will meet the marriage prep coordinator for pre Cana sessions (4 sessions) and meet with the priest who will marry us. The FOCCUS test is so good! It gives us things to discuss during the sessions.

[Deleted User] · February 2017

scrunchythief said:

MesmrEwe said:

We were required to do the Engaged Encounter weekend along with the classes with the priest... For us - the weekend was a pure waste of time. We'd already discussed all of the questions, but more than that it really got on our nerves on so many levels. Someone in the audience asked during an "ask anonymous questions" the question "How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship? was met with "That's such an inappropriate question" by the moderator and couples panel - I think it shut the entire room off because that really is an important question in regard to single vs. married life...
(Not to rekindle the old post...)

Wow, that's awful! Is it bad I kind of feel bad for the moderator's spouse?

I wish people at these kind of events would be more careful. My parents didn't get married in the church in large part due to how my (Jewish) father was treated at a Pre-Cana weekend. I don't know if it was EE or not, but the people were really nasty to him. So he left, and my parents had a civil ceremony.

I believe that is why Engaged Encounter is optional for my fiancé and I. Thankfully, we discussed issues before engagement and now we are discussing them in the context of marriage prep.

Has anyone opted for the Engaged Encounter Weekend?

Re: Has anyone opted for the Engaged Encounter Weekend?

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