Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invite Question

My fiancé and I sent our Save the Dates out a few months ago. There are about 6-8 new people we would like to include on our invite list, who weren't on our original list. They are co-workers and friends from church who are so over the moon excited for us that at this point we feel we should invite them (and want to!). The problem is I ran out of STD's, and so I was wondering if it's proper to just let them know the wedding date and ask them for their address closer to the time of sending invites out 8 weeks prior to our date? I know STD's aren't mandatory but I do feel in today's wedding world they are also sort of expected? Thoughts on best way to handle this?

Re: Invite Question

  • My fiancé and I sent our Save the Dates out a few months ago. There are about 6-8 new people we would like to include on our invite list, who weren't on our original list. They are co-workers and friends from church who are so over the moon excited for us that at this point we feel we should invite them (and want to!). The problem is I ran out of STD's, and so I was wondering if it's proper to just let them know the wedding date and ask them for their address closer to the time of sending invites out 8 weeks prior to our date? I know STD's aren't mandatory but I do feel in today's wedding world they are also sort of expected? Thoughts on best way to handle this?
    It's perfectly fine to ask them for their address and send them an invite at the appropriate time. STDs are not mandatory and while many people do them, many do not. If you are concerned you can always mention the wedding date when you see them and tell them to expect an invite. 
  • Yeah we had a couple like that too. It's totally fine to just send them an invite.

  • Just send the invitations at the appropriate time.  I think it would be awkward to sent a STD now, almost like it will look like they are a last minute addition to the list. .  . don't bother!


  • If you want to give them details before the formal invites are sent, just tell them verbally what you want them to know. Don't overthink this. 

    Just know that a verbal invitation means you need to invite them to the main event. Even if funds are short. Even if space is short. 

    STDs are not mandatory. Some people don't use them at all. Others only send them to their VIPs. Although more common these days, I don't think they're expected.
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  • I don't consider them expected either. Perhaps if it's a destination wedding and travel arrangements need to be made in advance.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2017
    STDs are not required for weddings at all.  They are relatively new.  They are only a courtesy for out of town guests so that they can make travel arrangements.  Etiquette books don't even mention STDs.
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  • Definitely don't need STDs.  I personally think they're a silly and waste of money, even though they are very popular these days.  Just send them invites when the time comes!
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