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Snarky Brides
NiceKindaSpice
member
Side Eyeing the Side Eye
A former best friend (Bride) got married to a close friend (Groom). We all used to go to HS together.
We went to a private academy that only admitted 30 students into my graduating class and 60 into the graduating class immediately after ours. I, along with a majority of other class fellows, had a sibling in said junior class. We were all friends/friendly acquaintances and our parents are acquainted. The invitation that came was addressed to just my parents. So Friday came and my parents attended the wedding. Every single class fellow from my year and the year below was there with the exception of my brother and I. Honestly, I didn't mind. Their guest list, their choice. But others minded??? I'm still in touch with most of that group. I began receiving messages calling me out for being too pretentious to attend, baffling over my etiquette faux pas, and just questioning how I could be so arrogant and rude. Of course, most were worded more politely. And most of the people asking likely didn't know I wasn't invited. Plus, I'm quite introverted and have been known to avoid gatherings. So I can see why they'd make the assumptions they made. And then the bride herself messaged me about how nice my presence would've been, blah blah. Now, with all of these folk, I didn't really address it with other than formalities (although I was tempted to respond to the bride with, "You should have invited me, then"). But then the bride's BFF, who addressed the invitations went in on me. She left aggressive audio messages and called me about a dozen times complaining about how I should have come and talking about how they're all side eyeing me. I just said, "The invitation said Dr. & Mrs. so I gathered I wasn't invited." Then she went berserk! She went on about how space was limited and that they had to make choices with the guest list and so on. But that's what I'd said to her earlier?? I told her as much, excused myself, and hung up. Then the bride's bridesmaids (all girls from the friend group) messaged me to ask if they are invited to my upcoming wedding. Now, I've only called a scattered handful of the group as they're people I'm actively in contact with. The groom is one, so obviously the bride is, too. But I hadn't invited these girls. Certainly not the BFF. I don't want to. I told them that with the space, we unfortunately had to limit the invitations we extended. But now I'm getting so much stink eye and passive aggressiveness. It's so dumb to me???
So please, share with me an immature wedding related story and we can have a chuckle about how unnecessary some people are. 
Re: Side Eyeing the Side Eye
I had something like this happen to me a few years ago. I walked into a funeral of a dear friend, and to my surprise the old, now defunct, church choir members were robed and assembled to sing at the funeral. Everybody was asked except for me! Gee, I only was a choir member for 7 years. I guess that wasn't good enough? I never said a word.
I gave my condolences to the family and quickly left before I embarrassed myself. I received many notes apologizing for the mistake, but it still hurt.
Sorry this happened to you. I think you are acting like a perfect lady.
I don't think she thought I was invited or wanted me to be. I think it was just to keep up the social appearance. Especially considering that she initiated the entire conversation with a Snapchat Story picture of our class mates and pointed out I wasn't there.
As for just telling others, I feel it's much better to just let the situation deflate itself. If I told them, they'd likely confront the bride and that's a can of worms neither her nor my friend, the groom, need.
Thanks for responding, ladies!
@KnottieJanel Okay, so most of this, especially messages, was via Snapchat. I couldn't see the content before I clicked it. And once I see the messages, they know I've checked it.
@charlotte989875 honestly, before the bff messaged, I thought the bride's pm was either to rub it in or just a follow up to the Story Picture. And the others, I didn't think it was their business.
Thanks yall.
But despite all this drama and falling on your sword for this couple who have told half-truths to your friends and scapegoated you, you're still good friends with the groom? Is there more to this story?
I agree with @southernbelle0915. I'd just tell the simple truth.
Maybe I am different than you, but I would, almost instinctively, feel the need to defend myself. If you are still friends with these people, tell them the truth - that Bride told you that you weren't invited to a pre-wedding party so she made it clear you weren't welcome at the wedding. If they approach bride, so be it.
What I was thinking was: Letting them forget until my wedding arrives is much easier than this useless gossip. And after my wedding I'm (hoping that all legalities go well) moving across the pond so friendly acquaintances will become distant acquaintances
@levioosa I agree!! I just think it's mad that people are so concerned with a guest list outside of their own position in it.
But, today I did inform the groom's mother (when she called to enquire) that I wasn't invited. I was kind of motivated by all of you, haha. So thanks. But also, I wasn't going to directly lie. Hopefully this will just end here!
Thanks guys.
Why these people care so much in the first place, I don't know. But I think that telling people who inquire that you weren't invited is the best/easiest way to move past the topic. When there's no more "mystery" about what happened, people get bored and move on.