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Invites and Paper

Can I request RSVP by phone and/or website only?

I am making my own invitations in an effort to save money. To further save on postage I would prefer to request RSVP through our website or by phone for the older guests who may not have internet. Is this acceptable? Our wedding is not a "formal" affair. I am trying not to get too hung up on tradition.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

Re: Can I request RSVP by phone and/or website only?

  • Yes, you can. RSVP cards are more for convenience than anything else. Be aware though, depending on which website hosts your wedding website, sometimes the rsvp features can be unreliable.
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • Yes, you can. RSVP cards are more for convenience than anything else. Be aware though, depending on which website hosts your wedding website, sometimes the rsvp features can be unreliable.
    This.  A few days after your RSVP due date, be sure to follow up with anyone who hasn't RSVP'd on your website (or called you yet), because sometimes the internet erases responses, or people think they replied but it didn't go through.
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • Oh boy I hadn't considered that. Thank you, good advice! 

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2017
    You might want to post your wording here before your print.  Modern, non-traditional wording is fine, but it must meet certain requirements, and there are a few rules that shouldn't be broken.
    Those fill-in-the-blank R.s.v.p. cards are relatively new.  Before the 1970's, they were actually considered to be rude, so you are fine with the phone number and website.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Although their wedding was more traditional, my son and DIL established an RSVP website.  They had no more non-responses than my daughter who used the traditional mail-back system.  Either way, follow up calls were necessary.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    RSVP cards are not required.

    My parents got married in 1981, and on their invitation it lists the phone numbers of the hosts under the RSVP by X date (who were both sets of parents).
    KnottieTara
  • The wording is:
    Kindly
    RSVP
    By August twenty-sixth
    two thousand and seventeen
    Through our website:
    https://www.xxxxxxxxxxx
    Or by phone:
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  • The wording is:
    Kindly RSVP
    by August 26th twenty sixth
    two thousand and seventeen
    Through our website:
    https://www.xxxxxxxxxxx
    Or by phone:
    xxx-xxx-xxxx
    You don't need the year. Invites only get sent out 6-8 weeks before the main event, so there's no way they'll think you mean next August.  

    Since you say the event isn't formal, I don't think you need to spell out "26th".
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2017
    Kindly RSVP by August 26th
    at our website:
    https://www.xxxxxxxxxxx,
    or by phone:
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    It just doesn't need to be that fancy.  Don't capitalize anything except the first word and proper nouns.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29
  • That brings up another question I have. My FMIL gave me her list of relatives to invite and everyone with a shortened or nickname was addressed that way. IE: Aunt Jenny, Tom and Cindy etc...  Do I need to address the invitation envelopes to Cynthia and Thomas? I mean it isn't a fancy as in super formal affair but we are putting on a beautiful affair. Ceremony at a botanical garden and reception at an Italian restauraunt's banquet room. I guess I'm asking people to dress "Garden attire"; dressy but no tuxes OR blue jeans, wedges, sandles, flats rather than heels for the ceremony. I am just concerned about sending mixed messages as to the level of formality. The more I think about it, this should probably be an entirely new post. Arrgh!! Who knew this could be so flipping complicated!

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  • geebee908geebee908 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited March 2017
    That brings up another question I have. My FMIL gave me her list of relatives to invite and everyone with a shortened or nickname was addressed that way. IE: Aunt Jenny, Tom and Cindy etc...  Do I need to address the invitation envelopes to Cynthia and Thomas? I mean it isn't a fancy as in super formal affair but we are putting on a beautiful affair. Ceremony at a botanical garden and reception at an Italian restauraunt's banquet room. I guess I'm asking people to dress "Garden attire"; dressy but no tuxes OR blue jeans, wedges, sandles, flats rather than heels for the ceremony. I am just concerned about sending mixed messages as to the level of formality. The more I think about it, this should probably be an entirely new post. Arrgh!! Who knew this could be so flipping complicated!
    Don't tell people how to dress themselves unless the restaurant requires a jacket and tie or something like that. Otherwise what you are planning is rude.

    ETA-- Your location should be an indication for your guests to decide the level of formality and type of footwear they would be most comfortable in. It's only complicated if you make it so.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2017
    Sorry, but unless the restaurant has a dress requirement (jackets and ties for men), you shouldn't mention dress to anyone.  Trust your guests to dress themselves.  Would it really be the end of the world if cousin Bob showed up in jeans?

    I think you should post your invitation wording, too.  It might need a few tweeks.  Is your invitation a classic design, or something more casual?  That will tell the guests what they need to know about dress.

    You don't address wedding invitations any way except the proper formal form - Mrs. John Doe, not Grandma Bubba.  Ask your FI or your FMIL about the names so you can get it right.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Ok, I think I may have caused some confusion here. I haven't told anyone how to dress and would not dream of doing so. On the knot wedding website I created there is a a designation for Attire. I wrote garden. That is it. Also, I know not to address an invite to Grandma Whoever. I simply wanted to know if I have to Put Mrs. Cynthia Lastname or can it be Mrs. Cindy Lastname. 

    I don't know what ETA stands for.

    The invite wording (please be kind)
     Together with our families
    Tara xx xxxx
    and
    Eric xx xxxx
    request the pleasure of your company
    as we join in marriage
    Saturday, the sixteenth of September
    two thousand seventeen
    at four o'clock in the afternoon
    Sayen Gardens
    155 Hughes Drive Hamilton, NJ 08690


    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  • You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) use all of the Knot's tabs/suggestions for information for your website.
  • Well, that's an easy mistake to fix. I'll just delete the attire. I really just want to know if I can use Bob instead of Robert, Cindy instead of Cynthia.
    What does ETA mean?

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well, that's an easy mistake to fix. I'll just delete the attire. I really just want to know if I can use Bob instead of Robert, Cindy instead of Cynthia.
    What does ETA mean?
    ETA - edited to add. It is a way people keep themselves honest when they edit posts so people don't think they deleted something they later realized wasn't a good idea.

    If you're using titles (Mr., Mrs., etc.) it would be weird to use nicknames. But you can address it to Bob and Cindy Kent. Or do Mr. & Mrs. Robert Kent. Something in-between will likely look weird.
    mollybarker11
  • Address people how they prefer. If someone hates being called "Cynthia" and chooses to go by "Cindy", I think it should be acceptable (and preferred) to address her invitation to "Cindy."
    "Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
    justsieSP29
  • Thank you. :smile:

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

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