Invites and Paper

Family tree?

my grandmother wants to invite some extended family that I don't really know. This is fine logistically. We have enough space and my dad is doing the food so inviting them isn't the issue. I'm wondering how to convey the familial tie on the invites though. They don't really know me and since it's relatives on my mom's side the last name won't help. Any ideas???

Re: Family tree?

  • I agree [email protected]  Do your parents' names appear on your invitation?  This would clue them in.

    Inviting people who are completely unknown to you to your wedding is not very nice.  They are expected to bring you a gift.  This makes you look greedy.  Explain this to Grandma.  Maybe that will help her understand your position.
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    MairePoppySP29
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2017
    Other than significant others of guests, I don't understand inviting people neither of you really know and who don't know you to your wedding. 

    This week, we got a graduation announcement from the little sister of someone my husband went to high school with. He hasn't seen or spoken to this kid since she was about 5 years old. It was very strange and we assume it's a gift grab. 

    That's how wedding invitations from/to "strangers" come across as well. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    southernbelle0915InLoveInQueensSP29MyNameIsNot
  • I agree with @MyNameIsNot about your grandmother explaining, but I am curious if English is your native language. I ask because in my native tongue, there are titles reflecting different types of relationships. I used those on the inner envelopes. Perhaps you have an alternative like that?

    I have to disagree with inviting "strangers" you're related to as necessarily being gift-grabbing. I think it depends on family dynamics and such. When your parents come from families with many children (think 10+), and that characteristic is passed down through generations, two generations alone is 100+ people. I have that situation. And due to etiquette of my father's home country, I've had to invite people who, on paper, are related to me but I've never met or haven't met in ages. 

    On the other hand, be wary of letting people who aren't paying have a say in your guest list. You have to draw the line somewhere. 
  • @NiceKindaSpice, is your family by any chance from India?  My husband's brother in law is from an Indian family.  I love their colorful wedding invitations!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with @MyNameIsNot about your grandmother explaining, but I am curious if English is your native language. I ask because in my native tongue, there are titles reflecting different types of relationships. I used those on the inner envelopes. Perhaps you have an alternative like that?

    I have to disagree with inviting "strangers" you're related to as necessarily being gift-grabbing. I think it depends on family dynamics and such. When your parents come from families with many children (think 10+), and that characteristic is passed down through generations, two generations alone is 100+ people. I have that situation. And due to etiquette of my father's home country, I've had to invite people who, on paper, are related to me but I've never met or haven't met in ages. 

    On the other hand, be wary of letting people who aren't paying have a say in your guest list. You have to draw the line somewhere. 
    I'm from a family that comes from a tradition of huge families. My grandmothers were families of 13 and 12 kids. (My grandma likes to say that her 5 kids are a small family). My dad has 42 first cousins on one side. I get it. Some of those cousins don't know the difference between me and my sister. Still, if people wouldn't even know who I was from my parents' names, they didn't belong at our wedding. 

    It's 2017, and we're not limited to our parents' traditions. How are people going to even know to care that they weren't invited if they don't even know who the couple are? Do they just expect to be invited to every wedding that ever happens, because deep down, we're all related somehow?


  • I agree with @MyNameIsNot about your grandmother explaining, but I am curious if English is your native language. I ask because in my native tongue, there are titles reflecting different types of relationships. I used those on the inner envelopes. Perhaps you have an alternative like that?

    I have to disagree with inviting "strangers" you're related to as necessarily being gift-grabbing. I think it depends on family dynamics and such. When your parents come from families with many children (think 10+), and that characteristic is passed down through generations, two generations alone is 100+ people. I have that situation. And due to etiquette of my father's home country, I've had to invite people who, on paper, are related to me but I've never met or haven't met in ages. 

    On the other hand, be wary of letting people who aren't paying have a say in your guest list. You have to draw the line somewhere. 
    I'm from a family that comes from a tradition of huge families. My grandmothers were families of 13 and 12 kids. (My grandma likes to say that her 5 kids are a small family). My dad has 42 first cousins on one side. I get it. Some of those cousins don't know the difference between me and my sister. Still, if people wouldn't even know who I was from my parents' names, they didn't belong at our wedding. 

    It's 2017, and we're not limited to our parents' traditions. How are people going to even know to care that they weren't invited if they don't even know who the couple are? Do they just expect to be invited to every wedding that ever happens, because deep down, we're all related somehow?


    Oh no, I agree with you that they should likely be able to pick up who it is by parents' names. That's why I began with agreeing with you.

    I'm just saying that someone who isn't a stranger to my parents may be a stranger to me. My first cousins from both sides and my siblings and I add up to nearly 200. That's excluding their parents. And the age range is very vast. Some are just a few years younger than my parents and their own kids are the same age as some of my other cousins. It's a complex family tree. It's hard to be close to them all. Some aunts and uncles are 20+years older than my parents and haven't met me in as many years. They're still my parents siblings. And although I may not be well acquainted with them, I also have no bad blood with them and I'm still inviting them all. It's not a tradition thing. It's family dynamics and cultural etiquette and neither of those are limiting me.  :smile: 

    CMGragain said:
    @NiceKindaSpice, is your family by any chance from India?  My husband's brother in law is from an Indian family.  I love their colorful wedding invitations!
    Ah, sorry to disappoint, but I am not. 
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